Showing posts with label adversity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label adversity. Show all posts

Friday, February 23, 2007

Laying Down an Old Burden

"It is the old wound king, my king. It has never healed" - Lancelot ("Excalibur", 1981)

I have carried something inside me for a long time, and recently I've been having dreams that have taken me back into my past... back to the very heart of the matter. I feel this is a prompt to talk about the subject and get it off my chest.

In all of Creation, there is one type of man that I cannot abide:

"They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires." 2 Timothy 3:6

I have never openly admitted why this such a bugbear with me... now I shall. I've held this in for some time because despite the wrong done to me, I value honour above many things... and I won't drag someone through the dirt on account of what they have said or done to me. That is why no names will be named... and only the people who really know me will understand.

I once dated someone - they were no good for me... I know that now. I tarried longer than I should because I felt I could be a force for good... they had seemingly lost faith in God, after a while into our relationship... as it was on "my watch" I felt a degree of responsibility - fool that I was. Every so often, the wiser part of me... the part that wanted out, would get fed up and a row would ensue. I'd go away and cool off and I'd eventually come round full circle.

There was this bus driver...

He befriended her. I was a little suspicious, but I told myself that I was allowing petty jealousy to get the better of me, so I put it to the back of my mind. That was until one day when we had a really big row. I disappeared for about a week. It was during that week that it happened (several times). He saw his opportunity and took it in both hands. I think you know what I'm talking about... it doesn't need saying.

The biggest mistake I ever made, was not seeing that one moment for what it was. So bewitched was I (like the Prince Rilian in C.S. Lewis' "The Silver Chair"), that I even did my best to forgive that. I reasoned that if I could demonstrate forgiveness to that level, maybe she'd understand how much God loved her (when I talk of forgiveness in this context, I wish to make it clear that I am talking in terms of continuing a relationship... not with regard to sin itself). All she cared about was getting her crutch back though. I carried my burden for some time after that... and when I think of how heavy that could of been in terms of consequences, I shudder... and thank God for the grace he showed me in helping me to awaken from my living nightmare.

While I have been healed of the experience, the memory of that time has always coloured my perception of male/female friendships. I do believe that platonic relationships between men and women are possible... in fact, I thrive on them... a couple of my best friends are women (easier to talk to). However, when somebody I am close to who is in a relationship, is approached by another man, I will always regard that man with suspicion. This is especially the case when a man lurks on the fringes of their social circle and when he "has their ear" too readily. I don't like players and seducers.

This has a lot to do with the road I have walked and I have two things to say to men:

1) I am sorry if I have regarded you unfairly because of my pain.
2) Please do not prove me correct in this matter... ever.

Me and this issue? We're done now.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Sunshine on a Rainy Day

There's a lot to be said for making the 2.5 mile journey to church on foot... you become aware of things that if you had rushed in a car, you'd never have experienced.

I was praying for forgiveness for various things I've done... and for finding it hard to see past my frustration in waiting on God with regard to relationships. It was at this during this, that a secular song popped in my head again... it's been doing it all week (somebody seriously needs to put some more money in my mental jukebox). The song is "Sunshine on a Rainy Day" by Zoe... here's a sample of the basic lyrics (minus chorus repeats):

I see you in the darkness
I see you in the light
I see your eyes shining
In through the night
Make me feel, make me feel
Like I belong
Don't leave me, you won't leave me here
All Alone

Cast your eyes
Like summer skies
Blue earth and the ocean
Clearer than the skies, yeah!

Sunshine on a rainy day (sunshine)
Makes my soul, makes my soul trip, trip, trip away
Sunshine on a rainy day (sunshine)
Makes my soul, makes my soul trip, trip, trip away

You touch me with your spirit
You touch me with your heart
You touch me in the darkness
I feel it start
Make it feel, make it feel
So Unreal (so unreal)
Like a wind in the desert
Like a moon on the sea

I felt very strongly that God was telling me that this is my current situation. I'm having a rainy day over relationships... it's been tipping it down. However, I also felt God was calling me to look at the fact that things are moving... he is bringing me to a place where I can appreciate the things he has to give. What he is currently doing with my finances is the sunshine to my rainy day... it is the sign that the weather is passing, the clouds are gradually rolling back and the warm rays of sunlight are gently bathing my face.

I felt that God was saying that I'm not in a place where I can eat milk and honey yet... but that I'm in a place where he is feeding me manna and quail. I could let that get me down, like the Israelites did... but the fact is that in some ways it's more of a blessing to be fed in the wilderness... than to be in a land flowing with milk and honey. With the former you are being hand fed by God... he's taking care of you. With the latter, it is easy to become conceited and think that the things you've received are solely by your own efforts. It is also possible to get so wrapped up in blessing, that you lose sight of God, who is the very source of every blessing we receive. When we receive gifts... it is not the gift we should value most, but the giver.

I feel that reminding myself of what God is giving me in the short term, is the perfect response to the current frustration I am wrestling with.

Have you ever exerienced how sometimes how God can lift a scripture out of it's original context, in order to speak to you where you are? I had that today. I read the words "sit at my right hand until I put your enemies under your feet." In the original context, this was King David overhearing God the Father talking to Jesus. However, I believe God used this in telling me to rest in him and wait for him to finish his work with my finances. before gallavanting off on some hare-brained romantic venture.

I am going to try and draw a line under this entire episode. Each months debtwatch is now a signpost to my own personal promised land. Every time I suffer temptation or frustration I will try to remind myself of this.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Emotional Conflict

One of my old problems has flared up again... I don't know why; maybe it is a seasonal thing, maybe it's the weather... maybe I'm just plain tired. Every so often I hit a wall... a time when I feel the pinch of walking the road I'm on and glance up to the things I hope and long for... and solemnly sigh at them still being unfulfilled.

It's been a while since I've had a proper girlfriend... heck did I EVER have a proper girlfriend for that matter? I effectively had a seven year solitary confinement sentence once, but that was all give, give and no take... a very sorry and parasitical state of affairs. I have waited patiently and resisted the temptation to move rashly... and sometimes that temptation has been sore. I know I'm not designed or cut out for solitary existence and I know the time will come when these days will end... but sometimes it really does hurt.

To quote a biblical sentiment that U2 echoed in on of their hits... how long must I sing this song?

I feel like I did when I climbed Great Gable the other week... having got over one peak, it was so disparaging to look across at a higher one and be told we hand to go down into a valley and climb up again even higher than before.

When you kill off the locusts that eat your crops, the land can still look barren for a long time to come. The important thing to remember is that the seeds of the new season grow silently beneath the seemingly desolate surface, and long before you see the green shoots of restoration and revival... strong sustaining roots are being put down deep into the fertile soil, where you cannot see it.

I think the most recent pangs I have experienced have come from a sense of "if I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor" to quote the band James. There are a couple of girls I'm keen on... one, far away and one close by. The former probably doesn't give me a second thought and probably just sees me as a helpful but eccentric soul on the all too rare occasions we have met. The other I barely know and don't really get much chance to rub shoulders with. I'm trying to get back into the habit of praying for them... no, not praying for them to be mine... I mean just praying for them... for God's protection, influence and blessing to be upon them. The way I see it you may as well turn these feelings into something constructive.

I would appreciate people's prayers on this one. I'm feeling especially vulnerable at the moment and I have struggled to overcome some inner adversity. Lately I have the feeling that the journey in this area is too much for me.

Monday, December 05, 2005

Update on My Previous Post

In my last entry I told you that I felt slightly bothered that no matter how hard I try, my finances keep getting knocked back to square one (this also seems true of any advances in the area of relationships).

I thought further on this throughout the day and came to several possible conclusions:
That I am being disciplined for my past behaviour in both relationships and finance.
That some kind of oppression/curse is causing problems
Or that God is keeping me in place until the time is right.
I'm more inclined to think the latter, but I think that I need to pray about this... I also would appreciate other people praying.

After I published my last blog, I cam across the following scripture:

"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

This would seem to back theory 3. I don't think this will be permanent, in my last blog I mentioned the verse about repaying the year of the locust. That comes just before a prophetic blessing where God promises to pour out his Spirit on all his people. As this relates to a vision that is held for my church, I believe that when the time is right... all the doors will be opened.

Rob thinks that maybe I have been put in this position to stop me gallivanting off into the sunset... chasing down my dreams away from where he wants me.

I have to admit, while I don't mind waiting on him for all my deepest hopes... I would appreciate a deposit in the area of relationships. I just don't feel the church is going to receive these blessings for a few years (though I hope I'm wrong), and that's a long time to be in the relationship desert. I mean it's not like he's just going to go bang and make someone want to marry me on the spot! These things take time. Though I am sitting here and chilling out for now... (it ain't my number one priority) if desire and opportunity come knocking I might not feel inclined to pass it up (it is probably my number 2/3 priority). Does this really mean God is going to scupper any advance I make on any girl?

Think I'm just going to play it by ear. The old joke about the guy trapped on a roof who asked God to save him keeps springing to mind.

Whatever happens, He is good. I'm going to pray on this... I'd appreciate anybody else's too!

Tomorrow I'm going to be a lot lighter, I intend to cover the St. Nicholas Day Parade in Alcester. If you want to come along, drop me a line!

God bless

N

Blessings in Disguise

In the run up to Christmas, my car has started to play up. I had it booked in for a service at the end of November... and knowing how pricey Christmas can be, I tried to keep as much money in reserve as possible.

When the car came back, I had just enough money to cover it without breaking into December wages. However, while the car was being prepped for the voyage home; it turned out that the master cylinder on the brakes had failed. This added another £115 to the bill, furthermore it transpires I need to have three new tires, a back box to the exhaust... and I still haven't had the cam belt replaced.

Were I feeling miserable or ungrateful I might curse my misfortune, but that would be irrational. If you look at it on the surface, yes it does look bad. Dig a little deeper and you could say I've been blessed. Firstly, yes December is an expensive month, which does make things tight... but by holding money in reserve, I've taken the sting out of it. What is more, How blessed was I that my brake cylinder failed in the workshop? Can you imagine what could have happened if it had gone on the road... in the wintry weather, if I was braking sharply behind an articulated lorry?

Yes, I will have to dedicate a large part of two months wages towards paying for this... but the simple truth is, that it is the right three months for it to happen. Any other time and I would have been stuffed. Besides I've had a little help from the people around me... I cannot complain.

One thing that does bother me though, is that I seem to be being kept at zero. I have debts to pay with regard to my car, which relate to the time when I was in a relationship with a rather dependant girl. I felt I needed my car up and running in order to stand by her properly. So when something nasty happened, I took a loan out. Turned out that God wanted me out of the relationship anyway, so I might as well have burned the money... the whole thing was a white elephant! As it stands, no matter how much I put in to breaking even, something always comes along to swipe me back down again. In several years time, the fixed term loan finishes, hopefully that'll be the end of it. However, it is quite clear that I am being held down though... either because of God's design for my future... or because of a curse that needs breaking through prayer. I honestly don't know which. All I know are the following promises:

"I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten— the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm — my great army that I sent among you." Joel 2:25

That verse comes just before the scripture that God laid on the heart of our church for the future... maybe I should be encouraged by this.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it" 1 Corinthians 10:13


and finally Jesus promised...

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10

I'm not suggesting that life in the full has anything to do with material wealth. All I am stating is that God is looking out for me and has my whole life mapped out. So I have to trust in Him.

So I praise God, not because I'm having it financially rough... but because he's right there with me going through it and enabling me to overcome.

God bless

N

Monday, November 07, 2005

Christian Persecution: The International Hall of Shame

You may have noticed a link to the Open Doors Foundation on the right hand side of my blog. Open Doors seeks to assist and encourage Christians who are persecuted in the world. It seems hard to believe it happens from way over here in the nice comfy West... doesn't it? For your information.... I am posting a "naming and shaming" list, of countries who carry out or allow wide scale persecution to take place. If by chance you are reading this and you come from one of them... please do not think I am getting at you personally. The list was compiled using a rating based on a set of questions, it is updated annually and some of the nations on the list (e.g. Turkey), have improved and are continuing to do so. So without further ado:


1. North Korea
2. Saudi Arabia
3. Vietnam
4. Laos
5. Iran
6. Maldives
7. Somalia
8. Bhutan
9. China
10. Afghanistan
11. Yemen
12. Turkmenistan
13. Pakistan
14. Comoros
15. Uzbekistan
16. Eritrea
17. Myanmar
18. Egypt
19. Sudan
20. Libya
21. Iraq
22. Azerbaijan
23. Morocco
24. Brunei
25. Nigeria (North)
26. Cuba
27. Russian Federation [1]
28. Tajikistan
29. Sri Lanka
30. Djibouti
31. Mexico (South) [2]
32. Tunisia
33. Qatar
34. India
35. Nepal
36. Colombia (Conflict areas)[3]
37. Indonesia
38. Algeria
39. Turkey
40. Mauritania
41. Kuwait
42. Belarus
43. United Arab Emirates
44. Oman
45. Syria
46. Bangladesh
47. Jordan
48. Kenya (North east)
49. Ethiopia
50. Bahrain
Copyright (c) 2005 Open Doors International
[1] Muslim republics of the Russian Federation: Chechnya, Kabardino Balkarya, Dagestan
[2] Southern Mexican state of Chiapas

Focus on the Top Ten

1. North Korea ►
The Stalinist country of North Korea is characterized by a complete lack of religious freedom and of many other human rights. For the third year in a row, North Korea heads the ranking as the worst violator of religious rights. Christianity is observed as one of the greatest threats to the regime’s power. The government will arrest not only the suspected dissident but also three generations of his family to root out the bad influence. Our local co-worker reports that at least 20 Christians were arrested for their faith in 2004. It is believed that tens of thousands of Christians are currently suffering in North Korean prison camps, where they are faced with cruel abuses. North Korea is suspected to detain more political and religious prisoners than any other country in the world. Though no exact figures can be given, our staff discovered that more than 20 Christians were killed by open air shootings or by beatings in the prison camps during the past year.

2. Saudi Arabia ►
Also this year, Saudi Arabia is high in the top ten of the World Watch List. Religious freedom does not exist in the Wahhabist kingdom. Its citizens are not allowed to adhere to any other religion than Islam. The legal system is based on Islamic law (sharia). Apostasy -- conversion to another religion -- is punishable by death. Christians and other non-Muslims are prohibited from gathering for public worship. Christians spreading their religion are likely to be imprisoned, as was Indian citizen Brian O’Connor who was sentenced to 10 months imprisonment and 300 lashes during the past year. While in prison, he discovered other Christians in prison for their faith in Saudi Arabia. O’Connor was physically mistreated and pressed to convert to Islam, then released unconditionally from prison after seven months and deported.

3. Vietnam ►
New to third place is Vietnam, rising one position. One of the few communist nations in the world, Vietnam considers Christians to be a hidden enemy. Authorities fear that Evangelical Christianity, suspected to be connected to the United States, is being used in a peaceful revolution against the communist system. Although the constitution provides for religious freedom, the government considerably restricts unrecognized religious activities. A new law on religion was introduced during the past year and bans any religious activity deemed to threaten national security, public order or national unity. The new ordinance was also used to prohibit unregistered church services in private houses. More than 100 Christians -- mainly from a tribal background -- were imprisoned. Many were forced to renounce their faith. During Easter, hundreds of ethnic minority Montagnards were arrested or injured and an unknown number killed in demonstrations against religious oppression and confiscation of tribal lands in Dak Lak province. Though the demonstrations resulted from a larger Montagnard issue and cannot be attributed solely to Christian repression, they probably brought additional repression to minority Christians.

4. Laos ►
Laos’ constitution provides for religious freedom in this Southeast Asian country. However, the absence of rule of law and specific regulation on religious matters allows local officials to interpret and implement the constitutional provisions as they choose. Article 9, for instance, discourages all acts that create divisions among religions and persons, and officials use it to prohibit evangelizing and to discourage religious conversions. Decree 92 on religious practice requires that almost all aspects of religious practice be approved by the authorities. During the past few years, religious conditions have improved slightly for Protestant Christians, although intolerance continued in some areas. Several Christians were arrested and accused of engaging in illegal church activities outside of their church premises because they didn’t have an official permit to travel outside of their villages. They were also accused of speaking negatively about the government. Some local officers have threatened to kill believers if they do not renounce their faith.

5. Iran ►
Islam is the official religion in Iran, and all laws and regulations must be consistent with the official interpretation of sharia law. Because conservative parties were victorious in the elections (at the beginning of 2004), religious freedom further deteriorated. Although Christians belong to one of the recognized religious minorities who are guaranteed religious freedom, they have reported imprisonment, harassment and discrimination because of their faith. Iranian authorities have banned the Bible and closed down Protestant churches that accept worshippers from an Islamic background. Hundreds of Christian converts were arrested throughout the year. Iranian Christians considered the detention of 85 Christian pastors in September to be the biggest crisis in 10 years. Most of the prisoners have been released, but many reported they received severe beatings and threats in jail. A former army colonel was sentenced to three years in prison for hiding his Christian faith, despite documented proof that the army knew he had become a Christian before he was ever given officer rank. There is a risk that he will be charged before a sharia court. In sharia legislation, apostasy is punishable by death.

6. Maldives ►
In the archipelago of the Maldives, Islam is the official state religion and all citizens must be Muslims. Sharia law is observed, which prohibits the conversion from Islam to another religion. A convert could lose citizenship as a result. It is prohibited to practice any other religion than Islam, which is considered to be an important tool in stimulating national unity and maintenance of the government’s power. Hence it is impossible to open any churches, though foreigners are allowed to practice their religion in private if they don’t encourage citizens to participate. The Bible and other Christian materials cannot be imported apart from a copy for personal use. In the country -- one of the least evangelized countries on earth, -- there are only a handful indigenous believers who live their faith in complete secrecy. The lack of respect for religious freedom in the Maldives remained the same during 2004.

7. Somalia ►
The eastern African country of Somalia is new in the top ten. Less than one percent of ethnic Somalis are Christian, practicing their faith in secret. Having no central government, the country lacks a constitution or other national laws to protect religious freedom. Islam is the official religion and social pressure is strong to respect Islamic tradition, especially in certain rural parts of the country. Somali Christians indicated that they face heavy pressure to join Islam. During 2004, several Christian converts from Islam reported physical assaults due to their new faith, and some had to escape to other villages. In those regions, even the possession of a Bible can lead to a dangerous situation. Three converts were killed by fundamentalist Muslims because of their beliefs. There is a saying that a Christian Somali is a dead Somali -- when discovered, they risk immediate death.

8. Bhutan ►
Mahayana Buddhism is the state religion in the Himalayan kingdom of Bhutan. Officially, the Christian faith does not exist and Christians are not allowed to pray or celebrate in public. Priests are denied visas to enter the country. Christians are being deprived of their rights, such as children’s education, government jobs and setting up private businesses. Society exerts strong pressure to comply with Buddhist norms. During Easter, three house churches were raided by the police. The church members were warned not to gather for worship and told that the government considered their meetings to be “terrorist activities.” The import of printed religious matter is restricted, and only Buddhist religious texts are allowed in the country. The lack of respect for religious freedom did not change during 2004.

9. China ►
During 2004, China’s government increased control of religious activities, further restricting them. Three internal directives were issued, aimed at the suppression of conversion of Communist Party members, the growth of religion and religious organizations across the country and the increase of religious activity on university campuses. The government wants Marxist atheism research propaganda and education to be further strengthened. Local Christians reported intimidation, harassment and detention of believers. Several mass arrests took place in which hundreds of unregistered Christians were detained. A Christian woman was beaten to death in custody for handing out Christian tracts. However, the number of believers in both registered and unregistered churches continued to grow.


10. Afghanistan ►
Afghanistan is back in the top ten. Religious freedom for Christians deteriorated mostly because of the influence of Islamic extremists. During 2004, five Afghan Christian converts were killed for abandoning Islam and spreading their new faith. Some parts of the country, mainly in the south and east, are still under the influence of the Taliban. Afghanistan’s new provisional constitution does not provide sufficiently for religious freedom. The document stipulates that the country is an Islamic republic. Followers of other religions are free to practice their religion provided that these practices are within the limits of the provisions of the law and that “no law can be contrary to the beliefs and provisions of the sacred religion of Islam.” This clause basically gives the official and unofficial religious leaders the right to question every action that they might consider contrary to their beliefs. Blasphemy and apostasy still fall under sharia law and are officially punishable by death. Christian converts face social discrimination and threats.


Countries Where the Situation Deteriorated ►
Apart from Somalia and Afghanistan, the status of religious freedom deteriorated in Iraq, Eritrea and Ethiopia.

Whereas Christians enjoy more political liberties than before in Iraq, they are experiencing considerable pressure from fundamentalist groups. Written threats, kidnappings, bombings and murder by Muslim extremists continued to drive tens of thousands of the minority Christian population out of the country. Several churches were bombed in 2004 and many were injured or killed. In some parts of the country, Christian women are forced to cover their heads. The general insecurity allows crimes such as killings, rapes and property confiscations to remain unpunished. Religious minorities are the main victims of this lawlessness and unrest. At the beginning of 2004, the draft constitution was agreed upon. It recognizes Islam as a source of legislation and specified “no law can contradict the universally agreed tenets of Islam.” The vague wording of this provision could lead to clerics holding veto power over the legislative body in determining what is Islamically correct.

The year 2004 saw a wave of arrests of evangelical believers in Eritrea. More than 400 Protestant Christians are currently imprisoned for their beliefs, a clear increase compared to the previous year. The believers suffered severe punishment and were locked in metal shipping containers. Many were put under pressure to renounce their faith. The only authorized religions recognized by the state are Eritrean Orthodox, Roman Catholic, Evangelical Lutheran and Islam. A new phenomenon last year was the arrest of Catholics, who are officially recognized.

Although the constitution of Ethiopia provides for freedom of religion, local Christians feel the government controls this freedom. Evangelical believers are not recognized and they report their churches are monitored. Christians experience the most opposition from local authorities and radical Muslims in majority Islamic regions. A number of believers have been imprisoned or have remained in hiding throughout the year because of their faith. Christians from an Islamic background are often fiercely persecuted by family members. Not only are they ostracized from the community, but they also face threats and attacks.


Countries Where the Situation Improved ►

The situation for Christians improved to different extents in Sudan, Colombia, Myanmar, Algeria, Turkey and Qatar.

After 21 years of devastating civil war, which claimed the lives of two million people, Christians in Sudan are cautiously hopeful for the new peace deal. Under the accords, the mostly Christian and animist South will remain autonomous for six years. Subsequently, there will be a referendum on independence from the largely Muslim North. Local church leaders expect the agreement will mean a lot to the Christians in Sudan. They expect to begin to enjoy access to food, water, shelter, medicines and clothing, which they were denied before. Also, as far as we could verify, fewer Christians were killed or physically harmed during 2004 than in the previous year.

Whereas the status of religious freedom did not change significantly in the conflict areas of Colombia, the ranking dropped because fewer Christians were reportedly killed or physically harmed compared to the previous year. Nevertheless, believers in rebel-occupied areas continue to live under pressure and amidst violence, partly because of their faith, although this is not easy to discern. The national army and guerrilla factions accuse believers of being allied with the rival group, although the church holds strong to its non-violence convictions. Guerrilla groups are also blaming the church for discouraging local youth from joining the insurgency. Pastors are kidnapped for money, and many live under threats of kidnapping. Evangelical families are among the thousands of persons displaced by fighting, and believers are killed in bomb explosions.

During 2004, we were able to collect more information on Myanmar during field trips. This information disclosed that religious freedom is less fierce than previously estimated. However, Christian believers still face church closures, major difficulties in registration, prohibition of construction of church buildings, and discrimination in the workplace.

There is an indication of slight improvement in the situation of Christians in Algeria. Threats against churches by Islamists continued, but they remained without repercussions. According to our staff, Algerians are increasingly getting used to the presence of Christians -- even indigenous believers -- and are tolerating them more and more. The indigenous church is growing, and they are able to gather openly with little interference from the authorities. Generally, the government does not interfere in the activities of non-Islamic religions. However, by law it is still prohibited to gather to practice a faith other than Islam, and non-Islamic evangelizing is illegal. Converts from Muslim backgrounds often face strong social pressure, especially from family and neighbors.

The status of religious freedom for Christians in Turkey improved to some extent. Legislation for religious freedom was somewhat accommodated to European Union laws. A Turkish pastor was acquitted of criminal charges for opening an “illegal” church due to the recent reforms. At the end of the year, formal approval was granted for his church -- the first new Protestant church to be built since the founding of the Turkish republic. Small Protestant congregations have often struggled against police and court harassment during the past 10 years. A Turkish TV producer was even sentenced to almost two years in jail for airing false provocations against Turkish Protestants. According to our local contact, the improvement is not really defined in most formal laws or accepted in the minds of the people.

The Gulf state of Qatar enacted its first constitution in 2004, guaranteeing freedom of expression, assembly and religion. Also, five Christian communities were allowed to begin construction of new churches. The Catholic, Orthodox, Coptic, Anglican and Protestant churches will be the first Christian churches in the country since the seventh century. Before the new constitution was adopted, the Christian communities in the country were illegal but tolerated.



So what do you make of it all. Do you have any personal experiences of persecution? Please list them if you do. This is your place to let the people of the free world know that people still suffer for the name of Jesus.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Three Little Words

Often, the shortest statements we make, are the ones that are the most profound and fundamental to who we are. They are also the ones that can cause us the most bother. Take the following statement:

"I love Jesus."
Three little words, three powerful words. Yet even as we speak, some 200 million Christians worldwide suffer for saying those very words, or demonstrating a belief that represents that statement.
200 million...
that's a lot...
To put it in perspective, that's roughly two thirds of the US population... all suffering for professing Christ as their saviour.

I'm not talking about here in the UK, or in Europe, or North America, or Australia. In these places, most of the time the hassle you are likely to receive will largely just consist of hard hearted words, scorn, ridicule and/or individual hostility.... or just people taking the rip out of you.
No, I'm talking about countries that are hostile to the Gospel message; where it is illegal, or culturally frowned upon. Places where if you worship Jesus you face the very real prospect of imprisonment, beatings, torture, abuse, rape, mutilation, slavery and even murder. Just for saying those three little words. Three little words we take for granted, but which for some people mean the very difference between life or death... in a world where those words can literally cost you everything.

We had a visit today from the Open Doors foundation. You can find a link to them somewhere on my page. They have existed for 50 years, and they have been supporting oppressed Christians in many ways. They have given financial aid, theological training to leaders, and most famously they are Bible smugglers. They take the Word of god into countries where it is banned. That is cool!

However the speaker today brought a message to our Church, not requesting help on any of those fronts. This is unusual, because most organisations who come ask for financial aid to further the good work they do.
No, we were merely asked to pray for these people... because that is the gift we offer that our persecuted brothers and sisters value the most. It encourages them to know that we who are not oppressed, remember them in our prayers. They draw real strength from that... and they have every reason to, in many circumstances they have no-one to rely on for provision but the Lord.

In fact, they pray for us. They know being a Christian in the decadent world has its own trials. They pray because there are so many distractions, such as financial worries, materialism and the busy nature of our lives that can take up valuable time.
I praise God for their faith, and I am ashamed at some of the basic things that can cause me to lose heart some times.
So, if you have the time to spare. Go over to the Open Doors website (link on my page). If not, perhaps you would pray the following prayer which we said this morning for persecuted Christians:
Petition for Persecuted Christians
I pray:
  • you will stand strong in your faith and steadfast in persecution.
  • your persecutors may come to know Christ.
  • God will supply the needs of your family.
  • you will have your own Bibles in your own language.
  • you will enjoy freedom to preach the Gospel.
  • you will be able to teach your children about the Christian faith.
  • you will be free to worship and meet other Christians.
  • you know you are not alone - the Lord is with you now and always.
  • we can all work for justice, that truth and righteousness will prevail.

Amen

Finally let us remember...

"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'" ( Matthew 25:40)

Sunday, February 20, 2005

My Testimony

I thought it would be a good opportunity this afternoon, to give anyone reading this an insight into why I became a Christian. Are you sitting comfortably....?

Then I'll begin.

When I was a kid, I was raised by parents who worshipped in an Anglican church. I was in the choir and when I was very young, I'd keep asking my Dad if we could sneak out of the vestry during the sermon, as i needed the loo. However, I very rarely needed it, I actually just wanted to go and look at the big stained glass window of the crucifixion... from the other side. However, by the time I was ready to go to school, Mum and Dad didn't feel the CofE school had a decent standard of religious education. So off I was sent to a Roman Catholic school. This was really good because it meant I had to deal with two different doctrines at an early age... and it meant I questioned my faith early on.

The priest who officiated the occasional school service was a staunch believer in the ideology that "All protestants will burn in hell!!!" I sometimes wonder what he made of me? I always used to go and talk to the boys who'd been serving, and used to talk openly about God with him, and them.

Secondary school was a little different. Again, it was roman catholic, but the priest was totally different. I'd quite often go to confession, but seeing as I wasn't catholic I couldn't confess, so I just had the odd theological chat. By the end of school, the two best R.E. students were me (the Anglican, and another guy was an atheist. There's got to be some irony there.

Now, I'd say at that time, I was religious in the christian sense... but I wouldn't say my faith had become alive yet. In fact, so keen was I to protect my beliefs, I purposely made myself the school clown. I forced people to stay at arms length, because I wanted them to like me, but not love me. I really wish I hadn't done that, because it helped to cut the real me off from other people for a LONG time.

At this time, I was going to a local youth fellowship, and the free and more emotional worship was beginning to have an effect on me, but as yet I couldn't understand what changes that was bringing about within me. I think the first major step was in 1989 during the Billy Graham mission to the UK. I think that was the first time i had a real full understanding that Christianity was not man's attempt to find God, but God's mission to redeem man. Before then I'd probably have been convinced that my works on their own counted for something. I was a bit of a pharisee at school. I talked some of the things that bothered me, over with a counsellor... but most of it I spoke to God about alone (one good thing that came out of my isolationism, is that I tended to communicate with God a lot). The important thing though was that after that I started to listen to Him as well.

In 1991, upon leaving school I became quite depressed, for one reason or another (you don't really need to be burdened with that). It was during that year that after being pelted with eggs and repeatedly told to "Shut Up!", that I had a bit of a breakdown. It was then that i finally realised that the Christian walk is not one to be undertaken in your own strength. There were a few special moments that day, but my outlook for the future had changed somewhat, and the most important thing was that it started to make me more open... to start letting people into my heart... that is something that has gathered momentum in recent years.

Since then, I've made some foolish mistakes, foolish pride and shame made them last longer than they should have. However, I believe that whatever I'd done with my life, I would have ended up at the same point by about July 2003. I really feel, that the first part of my life has been a kind of "playtime" and now the real stuff begins. In some ways I don't think the Nick Payne of any year till about 2000 would recognise the Nick Payne of today. I'm a different creature. I wonder how many of my friends would make the same distinction about the changes in me?

I've changed churches a couple of times, and my role in the church and indeed the Church, has started to become much more involved. There is no feeling on earth like speaking and knowing your God is with you, or seeing something new revealed to you by God in a powerful way. I really believe we are living in exciting times... we are on the cusp of something big and wonderful. My strongest desire, is that the people around me don't miss out on God's promises.

That brings us up to the present day I think. I'll have to do something more light hearted now, because that was a mega heavy entry!

Blessings to you all!

Nick

Friday, January 28, 2005

Emotional Security and Wellbeing

There are those who believe that at this precise point in time, I should really be feeling like one of the following:

OK, yeah I've invested a lot of time in building up somebody else's emotional and spiritual well being, and yes I did become emotionally interested, only to be firstly treated like a romantic yo-yo, and eventually left out in the cold, but do you know what? With God on-board, even the most mortal blows can sometimes seem like a pin-prick.

It's either that, or I'm just getting to a point in life where I can handle being treated like crud, in a mature and adult fashion.

You see, when you write a note saying how you feel about somebody (who already knows from the times you've told them), what do you do when you get a mixed reaction? Well in response to my message, I was completely blanked the following day... and yet on Tuesday morning, you get a note in the post admitting they've been backing off but they still want to be good friends, what would you do?

I personally decided that actions speak louder than words, and I called time on it. You see, it's quite possible, when she's finished chasing her rainbows that she'll come back and do the same thing again. It's not healthy for her to do that, and it certainly isn't healthy for me to let her do it to me.

Do any of you remember the film Apollo 13? There's a bit in that film when two of the astronauts come over from the LEM to join Kevin Bacon's character in the capsule. There is a big yellow post it note saying "NO!" on it. He wrote that because he was getting scared and thought he might freak out and blow the others into space yo save his own hide. Well that's how I'm treating this. What happened on Sunday was rude, and out of order, and I will completely back off now because of that. It's conceivable that if this friendship survives, it will take time to heal. But I'm keeping the note I received, and I'll tell you why... it's my "NO" sticker. If she comes to me now, having changed her mind... the door is shut.

I am free.

I'm not bitter at all about this, in fact I'm surprised at how quickly I've recovered. However I will maintain a safe distance from her.

But now the fun begins... no single er lets say 22-31 woman in Christendom (solid faith in Christ required) is safe now.

All joking aside, I'm back... and it's about time!

N
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