Sunday, November 05, 2006

Sunshine on a Rainy Day

There's a lot to be said for making the 2.5 mile journey to church on foot... you become aware of things that if you had rushed in a car, you'd never have experienced.

I was praying for forgiveness for various things I've done... and for finding it hard to see past my frustration in waiting on God with regard to relationships. It was at this during this, that a secular song popped in my head again... it's been doing it all week (somebody seriously needs to put some more money in my mental jukebox). The song is "Sunshine on a Rainy Day" by Zoe... here's a sample of the basic lyrics (minus chorus repeats):

I see you in the darkness
I see you in the light
I see your eyes shining
In through the night
Make me feel, make me feel
Like I belong
Don't leave me, you won't leave me here
All Alone

Cast your eyes
Like summer skies
Blue earth and the ocean
Clearer than the skies, yeah!

Sunshine on a rainy day (sunshine)
Makes my soul, makes my soul trip, trip, trip away
Sunshine on a rainy day (sunshine)
Makes my soul, makes my soul trip, trip, trip away

You touch me with your spirit
You touch me with your heart
You touch me in the darkness
I feel it start
Make it feel, make it feel
So Unreal (so unreal)
Like a wind in the desert
Like a moon on the sea

I felt very strongly that God was telling me that this is my current situation. I'm having a rainy day over relationships... it's been tipping it down. However, I also felt God was calling me to look at the fact that things are moving... he is bringing me to a place where I can appreciate the things he has to give. What he is currently doing with my finances is the sunshine to my rainy day... it is the sign that the weather is passing, the clouds are gradually rolling back and the warm rays of sunlight are gently bathing my face.

I felt that God was saying that I'm not in a place where I can eat milk and honey yet... but that I'm in a place where he is feeding me manna and quail. I could let that get me down, like the Israelites did... but the fact is that in some ways it's more of a blessing to be fed in the wilderness... than to be in a land flowing with milk and honey. With the former you are being hand fed by God... he's taking care of you. With the latter, it is easy to become conceited and think that the things you've received are solely by your own efforts. It is also possible to get so wrapped up in blessing, that you lose sight of God, who is the very source of every blessing we receive. When we receive gifts... it is not the gift we should value most, but the giver.

I feel that reminding myself of what God is giving me in the short term, is the perfect response to the current frustration I am wrestling with.

Have you ever exerienced how sometimes how God can lift a scripture out of it's original context, in order to speak to you where you are? I had that today. I read the words "sit at my right hand until I put your enemies under your feet." In the original context, this was King David overhearing God the Father talking to Jesus. However, I believe God used this in telling me to rest in him and wait for him to finish his work with my finances. before gallavanting off on some hare-brained romantic venture.

I am going to try and draw a line under this entire episode. Each months debtwatch is now a signpost to my own personal promised land. Every time I suffer temptation or frustration I will try to remind myself of this.

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