Terminators Have It Easy

Lately I've been pondering the frustration caused by the lack of "surface information" available to me in daily life. This is a general thing but I must confess that it probably has a specific root... 

Girls.

Being flesh and blood and heterosexual in nature, from time to time I find myself encountering what I perceive as beauty and being drawn inexorably in by it  (oh come on... how many times has it happened before and I've blogged on it here).

Most men would just go with the internal girly whirly detector in their head... however, I am not most men. I find that I don't have the luxury of just going with my instincts.

Annoyingly.

You see there are two important things you need to know about me in respect of this. The first thing, is that psychologically and emotionally, I find it a little too easy to fall in love... don't ask me why it is... it just is. The second thing you need to know is that I recognise the need for spiritual responsibility and accountability in my own life both with regard to myself and to others.

If I commit myself to a romantic cause of of action (however innocuous), in the past it generally hasn't taken me too long to get in over my head... and I find myself caught in a tug of war between the giants of romantic love and spiritual well-being.

What happens when an irresistible force hits an unmoveable object?

If I go out with someone who doesn't put similar stock in their ethics and beliefs, one of two things (usually both in tides and seasons, depending on how long things pan out)eventually happens:

1. I get emotionally attached and conflicted and tend to get melancholic, miserable and spiritually ineffective.
    
2. The other person can't cope with the importance I put on my faith and it becomes a source of friction and argument.

Having this knowledge makes it a great burden for me to carry. I am naturally more acutely aware of it at this time of year as all my hormones tend to kick into overdrive as we emerge from winter.

In fact there are potentially as many as 4 girls (5 if you include Fliss Walton's appearance in this Halifax advert), who I semi regularly run into who catch my eye in this manner... but for the reasons stated above, I won't do anything about it.

When I get thinking like this, I start to think how easy life could be if we were all like the Terminator. No, I don't mean that I'd like us all to be pathological cyborg killing machines. I'm referring to "Terminator Vision"...

Imagine how much simpler the dating game would be if you could just walk into a bar or town square, scan the individuals there... and be presented with a list of pointers with regard to "surface" compatibility with those people (just pointers mind... nothing should take away from the fun and stimulation that comes from getting to know a person one to one).  Oh and before you ask... another essential divergence from the Terminator films - we shouldn't have to walk into those places naked in the first instance lol.

If the word "Christian" popped up on any one of those girls heads while scanning.... I'd lock on and totally go for it... but as it stands I'm somewhat of a reluctant hermit.

In fact, whilst I may be joking... we potentially in the future may have this very ability. Advances in the field of augmented reality are bearing fruit along these lines. Last month I read this article in the Guardian. I was particularly drawn to this segment: 

"A prototype application demonstrated at the Mobile World Congress in Barcelona in February took things a little further again. Point the phone at a person and if it can find their details, it will pull them off the web and attach details – their Twitter username, Facebook page and other facts – and stick them, rather weirdly, into the air around their head (viewed through your phone, of course)."

Naturally whilst this is exactly the kind of technological advancement I need to overcome my ethical romantic problems... I recognise that the issues of privacy and data protection are immensely important and perhaps this needs to be thought through a bit before we start walking down that road.

Until then, I guess I'm stuck trying to work this out by developing telepathic powers.

Ups and downs

Well that's two pregnancies in one week. Again, I am happy for my friends... but it just ties my guts up in knots. Have you ever heard the song "Sit Down" by James? There is a line that sums up how I feel.

"If I hadn't seen such riches I could live with being poor!"

That's what it's like. To see other people flaunting the things you hunger for? It really stings.

On the positive side... I had a really bizarre dream 3 nights ago. I dreamed that a very polite, sweet and attractive Latino looking girl came up to me and said something like "Hello, God sent me to go out with you, he made me for you." She wasn't someone from my memory, and she didn't appear to be anyone famous. Anyway, shortly after this revelation I had the great misfortune of waking up!

I can only hope this proves prophetical. although one should always be careful of saying such things... you never know the cost. A ticket to the mission field in South America may precede it...

LOL!

All A Matter of Timing

My phone's text alert went off yesterday, whilst I was at the birthday party of the daughter of my best friend. I checked it and I was greeted with the news that another good friend is expecting a child in February.

I am absolutely elated for her, but quite depressed and frustrated with myself. Yes I know we've trodden this path before, I know I can't force God's hand. When the time is right, things will come good and the years of the locust (in this area of life) will be ended.

It's bad enough resisting the temptation to pick your own scabs and wounds, but when other people come along and pick them... that's something different, I cannot control that.

It seems these days for every voice of reason telling me to remain calm and that I have plenty of time, there are 3 more voices telling me to pull my finger out as I may miss the boat (These are voices of friends by the way, not voices in my head!).

It's all a matter of timing... isn't it?

I've decided to take things positively. I believe one thing is certain... something is coming. It may be distant on the horizon, or it may be just around the corner... but the gears are in motion and I can sense something in the air (apart from my rampant pheromones).

If the voices of calm are correct, the voices of urgency are there to force my hand... to make me choose someone rashly out of panic, someone who would break my heart and mess me up. If the voices of urgency are correct, I have to be alert as my chances are coming and I may miss out by waiting too long for the right person and the right moment... when both slip past me, as I fail to see the wood for the trees.

Either way, like I said... I can be encouraged by the fact that something is going on. I do believe I need to be a little more proactive, but only in the right circles.

The only voice that truly counts of course is God's. I just have to work out whether he's with the voices of calm, or urgency.

This would be so much easier if a wonderful young lady would walk past with an angel hovering above her pointing and holding up a giant placard saying "OI! DOPEY THIS IS THE WOMAN OF YOUR DREAMS... THE WOMAN GOD MADE TO MATCH YOU AS A PERSON WHEN HE DESIGNED YOU. DON'T JUST STAND THERE, GO AND ASK HER OUT BEFORE I BAT YOU OVER THE HEAD WITH THIS PLACARD!"

No?

Guess I'll just have to do this the hard way

Christian Girls Part 2

Thanks for getting back to me Roe.


As I posted on your site, I do agree largely with what you put. Apparently the original context for the "do not be unevenly yoked" scripture, was one based on business relationships. However the principle is sound when applied to other relationships, especially intimate ones.

The key problem in this whole area is accepting who is number one in your life. In the secular world, understandably that's going to be the person you love most on this Earth. However, when you are a Christian and have a relationship with God... he's number one, and that causes an imbalance.


Only a fool, or someone heartless would knowingly seek out a relationship that would unfairly burden one or the other person with an unshared belief. However, I do believe (and it's scriptural) that people already in married relationships with non believers before they become Christians, should where possible try and stick it out. I don't believe God calls us to throw people away like rubbish. Everything we do, should be governed by spiritual discernment.

To those of us not in relationships, I believe there are two scriptures that point the attitude we should take, when looking for a prospective companion:


"“Everything is permissible”–but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible”–but not everything is constructive."

and:


"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. "

Basically, don't knowingly go into a situation you know is not going to be constructive either for you as a person, or in your relationship with God... and secondly look for the fruits of the Spirit in a person... you tell a tree by it's fruit, not the label attached to it.


The essential thing though is to not let anything or anyone become more important than God in your heart. OK so you might not worship the Vorlon god Booji... or any other polytheistic icon... but worshipping a person, or a possession, or a job is just as much idolatry as dancing round a moose headed pole making funny noises.

Blessings to you all.



Nick

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Talking about Christian girls

Hey Nick,


Thank you for your blog @ Amazing Grace. I'm glad I look suspiciously Christian. :-) Do add me. Thanks for looking me up.

As far as Christian girls go in your 20 something age group... I'm in the USA and I'm not sure that is a problem here. The 20 something group at our church is picking up momentum. Amen. I'll keep you in my prayers as The Spirit reminds me. I pray that you find the joy in love that I have found in the match God made for me, and my husband.

Blessings,


roe

Christian Girls

I've noticed something in recent years, and it's a little bit depressing. If you take a look around you in Britain today, or at least my corner of it. You don't find many Christians of my age group, even less who are girls. There seem to be many teenagers, and many 35-40 somethings.... but 25-30 uh-uh. They just drop off like some strange disease afflicted the church populous at that time.

I am beginning to think that my age group is the lost generation. It's hard to find people my age who have a solid faith, heck even a rudimentary one would do, if it showed signs of developing... but for many I bump into, faith just seems to be an accessory that they wear when it suits them.

And what infuriates me even more, is that those girls that do exist go after lads who will hurt them... people playing the field, and false Christians. There are single people I know, who will justify relationships with anyone, on the basis that they can save them for Christ. OK fine... so why can't you bring them to Christ first and then go out with them?

I learned the hard way it doesn't always work like that. for five and a half years I continued to go out with someone who lost their faith while I was going out with them. It was like a prison sentence... and I won't make that error again if I can help it.
Am I the only person who plays by the rules... if I am, then it's costing me dear, but that's no reason to stop doing it.

If you see any Christian twentysomethings, send them my regards! Heck if you are one, tell me if I'm right about the situation... is it like a wilderness where you live too?

I guess I feel like Treebeard from The Lord of the Rings, or something akin to him anyway. You know, the Ents are still kicking around but the Entwives have all cleared off to new pastures!

Regards and blessings

Nick

Emotional Security and Wellbeing

There are those who believe that at this precise point in time, I should really be feeling like one of the following:

OK, yeah I've invested a lot of time in building up somebody else's emotional and spiritual well being, and yes I did become emotionally interested, only to be firstly treated like a romantic yo-yo, and eventually left out in the cold, but do you know what? With God on-board, even the most mortal blows can sometimes seem like a pin-prick.

It's either that, or I'm just getting to a point in life where I can handle being treated like crud, in a mature and adult fashion.

You see, when you write a note saying how you feel about somebody (who already knows from the times you've told them), what do you do when you get a mixed reaction? Well in response to my message, I was completely blanked the following day... and yet on Tuesday morning, you get a note in the post admitting they've been backing off but they still want to be good friends, what would you do?

I personally decided that actions speak louder than words, and I called time on it. You see, it's quite possible, when she's finished chasing her rainbows that she'll come back and do the same thing again. It's not healthy for her to do that, and it certainly isn't healthy for me to let her do it to me.

Do any of you remember the film Apollo 13? There's a bit in that film when two of the astronauts come over from the LEM to join Kevin Bacon's character in the capsule. There is a big yellow post it note saying "NO!" on it. He wrote that because he was getting scared and thought he might freak out and blow the others into space yo save his own hide. Well that's how I'm treating this. What happened on Sunday was rude, and out of order, and I will completely back off now because of that. It's conceivable that if this friendship survives, it will take time to heal. But I'm keeping the note I received, and I'll tell you why... it's my "NO" sticker. If she comes to me now, having changed her mind... the door is shut.

I am free.

I'm not bitter at all about this, in fact I'm surprised at how quickly I've recovered. However I will maintain a safe distance from her.

But now the fun begins... no single er lets say 22-31 woman in Christendom (solid faith in Christ required) is safe now.

All joking aside, I'm back... and it's about time!

N