Monday, July 11, 2005

All A Matter of Timing

My phone's text alert went off yesterday, whilst I was at the birthday party of the daughter of my best friend. I checked it and I was greeted with the news that another good friend is expecting a child in February.

I am absolutely elated for her, but quite depressed and frustrated with myself. Yes I know we've trodden this path before, I know I can't force God's hand. When the time is right, things will come good and the years of the locust (in this area of life) will be ended.

It's bad enough resisting the temptation to pick your own scabs and wounds, but when other people come along and pick them... that's something different, I cannot control that.

It seems these days for every voice of reason telling me to remain calm and that I have plenty of time, there are 3 more voices telling me to pull my finger out as I may miss the boat (These are voices of friends by the way, not voices in my head!).

It's all a matter of timing... isn't it?

I've decided to take things positively. I believe one thing is certain... something is coming. It may be distant on the horizon, or it may be just around the corner... but the gears are in motion and I can sense something in the air (apart from my rampant pheromones).

If the voices of calm are correct, the voices of urgency are there to force my hand... to make me choose someone rashly out of panic, someone who would break my heart and mess me up. If the voices of urgency are correct, I have to be alert as my chances are coming and I may miss out by waiting too long for the right person and the right moment... when both slip past me, as I fail to see the wood for the trees.

Either way, like I said... I can be encouraged by the fact that something is going on. I do believe I need to be a little more proactive, but only in the right circles.

The only voice that truly counts of course is God's. I just have to work out whether he's with the voices of calm, or urgency.

This would be so much easier if a wonderful young lady would walk past with an angel hovering above her pointing and holding up a giant placard saying "OI! DOPEY THIS IS THE WOMAN OF YOUR DREAMS... THE WOMAN GOD MADE TO MATCH YOU AS A PERSON WHEN HE DESIGNED YOU. DON'T JUST STAND THERE, GO AND ASK HER OUT BEFORE I BAT YOU OVER THE HEAD WITH THIS PLACARD!"

No?

Guess I'll just have to do this the hard way

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