Monday, December 05, 2005

Blessings in Disguise

In the run up to Christmas, my car has started to play up. I had it booked in for a service at the end of November... and knowing how pricey Christmas can be, I tried to keep as much money in reserve as possible.

When the car came back, I had just enough money to cover it without breaking into December wages. However, while the car was being prepped for the voyage home; it turned out that the master cylinder on the brakes had failed. This added another £115 to the bill, furthermore it transpires I need to have three new tires, a back box to the exhaust... and I still haven't had the cam belt replaced.

Were I feeling miserable or ungrateful I might curse my misfortune, but that would be irrational. If you look at it on the surface, yes it does look bad. Dig a little deeper and you could say I've been blessed. Firstly, yes December is an expensive month, which does make things tight... but by holding money in reserve, I've taken the sting out of it. What is more, How blessed was I that my brake cylinder failed in the workshop? Can you imagine what could have happened if it had gone on the road... in the wintry weather, if I was braking sharply behind an articulated lorry?

Yes, I will have to dedicate a large part of two months wages towards paying for this... but the simple truth is, that it is the right three months for it to happen. Any other time and I would have been stuffed. Besides I've had a little help from the people around me... I cannot complain.

One thing that does bother me though, is that I seem to be being kept at zero. I have debts to pay with regard to my car, which relate to the time when I was in a relationship with a rather dependant girl. I felt I needed my car up and running in order to stand by her properly. So when something nasty happened, I took a loan out. Turned out that God wanted me out of the relationship anyway, so I might as well have burned the money... the whole thing was a white elephant! As it stands, no matter how much I put in to breaking even, something always comes along to swipe me back down again. In several years time, the fixed term loan finishes, hopefully that'll be the end of it. However, it is quite clear that I am being held down though... either because of God's design for my future... or because of a curse that needs breaking through prayer. I honestly don't know which. All I know are the following promises:

"I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten— the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm — my great army that I sent among you." Joel 2:25

That verse comes just before the scripture that God laid on the heart of our church for the future... maybe I should be encouraged by this.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it" 1 Corinthians 10:13

and finally Jesus promised...

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10

I'm not suggesting that life in the full has anything to do with material wealth. All I am stating is that God is looking out for me and has my whole life mapped out. So I have to trust in Him.

So I praise God, not because I'm having it financially rough... but because he's right there with me going through it and enabling me to overcome.

God bless


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