Sometimes We Sting... Sometimes We Save

In the past on this blog I have referred to a couple of images/anecdotes that look at the different behavioural attitudes we adopt in our relationships with people. What has been on my heart for a little while and what I thought I'd do in this post, is combine all three... and look at them together.

The first is a joke; an amusing anecdote that we are supposed to use to look at life when it gives us one of its occasional knees to the groin. The saying goes like this:

"Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days you are the statue".

I know its a joke... but I have never felt comfortable with it. What it says to me is that when life drops a bucket load of guano on your head... its okay, because some day you'll be the one depositing the guano on somebody else.

The second is the infamous story (once referenced in Star Trek: Voyager), of a scorpion who wanted to cross a swollen river.  Aware of his shortcomings and knowing that any attempt at swimming would result in certain death, the scorpion attempts to coerce a nearby fox. The fox being cunning and wise points out that its a stupid thing to do because the scorpion will sting him and kill him. The scorpion reasons with him and points out that if he does sting the fox, they will BOTH drown in the river and die... so it isn't in his interests to betray his unlikely ally. The fox can't fault the scorpions logic and allows the arachnid to hop on his back. The couple begin their crossing and all is going well. However, when the fox reaches the deepest part of the river... the scorpion rears up his sting and plunges it into the neck of the fox.  As the neurotoxin begins to take effect and the creatures begin to sink below the waterline, the fox gives one last look over his shoulder, stares forlornly at the scorpion and asks "Why? Why did you do this? Now we'll both die!"

The scorpion answers "I'm sorry... I couldn't help it. It's just my nature."

That story is a constant reminder to me that we all carry an element of the fallen nature inside of us... that even when our intentions are good and honourable, some times we fall prey to the remnants of the sinful nature that lurk deep inside waiting for moments to strike... just like a scorpion's sting.

The last anecdote also contains an equally aquatically challenged scorpion who is in dire peril. This scorpion keeps slipping off a riverbank and falling into a river to his doom. Fortunately for him, two monks are washing bowls in the river nearby. One of the monks spots the scorpion and rescues him. In return for the monk's kindness, the scorpion... yep you guessed it... stings him before scuttling off. However, the scorpion is soon in trouble again and falls straight back into the water. The monk wastes no time in rescuing the scorpion again... and again. Each time he does so, he receives a sting for his trouble. This goes on until the monk's companion asks him "Why do you keep doing that? Don't you know that scorpion will just keep stinging you?  That's its nature!"

"Ah..." replies the other monk "... but it is my nature to save."

Looking at those stories together tells us something quite profound about life. There are going to be times in all our lives when we mess up and hurt the ones around us - the ones who we care about... and who care about us. We can't help it... its in our nature (albeit a nature we need to resist). However if we strive with all our heart to adopt Christ's nature... the one that His Spirit calls us to, we can bear with one another's brokenness and faults with mercy and compassion... encouraging those around us to do likewise by the righteous examples God works through us.

Sometimes we sting, sometimes we save... how we feel about those two facts reveals a lot about our character and our relationships with one another and God. What it is NEVER okay to do is to be the pigeon.  Everyone knows what it feels like to be the statue... everybody knows how bad it feels when someone bombs your life with emotional excrement. We all know what it feels like to be stung... so can we really afford to take a blasé attitude with others, every time we feel an irresistible urge to unfairly offload our rubbish attitudes on those around us?

We can't.

Sometimes we sting.  When this happens (as it does), we need to recognise we are doing it, what is driving it and ask forgiveness in all sincerity for it.

Sometimes we save.  We need to be watchful for those around us who are openly hurting. We need to go the distance and do what we can to help them out, even if it is just praying for them. They may sting you for your trouble, but never forget their value... or the fact that someday you may need a friend to save you in spite of your own stinging.

All Alone in the Night?

Haven't blogged for a while, so I'd catch up by bringing you up to speed with my most recent actions.

If you are a regular reader, you may recall that back in 2009 I decided to change my meditation for Maundy Thursday. I did it as a response to having been to the Mount of Olives and concluding that perhaps the best place to get a feel for what happened back in the Garden of Gethsemane (if such a thing as at all possible - I believe we can only get a glimpse at best), I took my time of meditation into the wild... and sat on a hill overlooking the town.

Alas, last year I was unable to repeat the experience due to torrential rain. So this year - armed with the promise of a good weather (and what glorious weather it is), I resolved to return. I was especially nervous this year because the last time I went to the hill (last Autumn), there was a ridiculously oversized aggressive looking bull grazing there. As I reached the bridleway that led to the hill, my torch failed... so aside from the limited light afforded by the torch utility on my iPhone Sonic Screwdriver App... I was walking by faith, not by sight.

So many emotions ran through my head as I sat at the foot of the daffodil cross in the dead of night. There was the fear of being discovered by a surly farmer wondering what I was doing... or shish kebabed by an even surlier bull. I even had thoughts of bandits or rogues jumping out from the treeline. Or worse... LARPers.

That's the thing about the dark... isn't it? It amplifies everything... especially the negative. every sound you hear could be something coming to eat you... or worse. It gives you a great sense of being surrounded by threats and being devoid of support... alone.

That gives you some idea of some of the thoughts going through Jesus' head as his disciples lay sleeping in the background... as the wind blew, the tree branches clacked together ominously... and as the faint glow of torches and conspiratorial voices in the distance drew ominously nearer.

For him the threats were very real... as events on Good Friday proved.

Emotions are often one of the most stalwart and trustworthy allies in our human arsenal... they give us an impression of how we should respond to the world around us... and yet at times, they can quite easily be at odds with the facts.

Jesus above all people, knew that he was not alone in the garden. He prayed to his Father... who he shared a unique relationship with.... and yet from his words to his disciples, it's clear that he felt very much alone.

I find that very reassuring.

There are times when all of us feel alone... even if we know God... it can seem very much like we are fighting our battles alone. If the Son of God struggled with emotions like that, then we can be sure that the Father does not frown on us too hard when we find ourselves feeling that way.

The only thing he asks of us is that we are honest and give our emotions and struggles over to him.  If you look at the Gospel... that's exactly what Jesus did. How often though, do we cling tightly to our struggles? We become so obsessed with our battles and so proud about acknowledging they way we feel, that we neglect our greatest ally. Sometimes will not remove our circumstances... just as he did not remove "the cup" for Jesus (in the case of the former it's because we are not the centre of the universe, in the case of the latter it was because God esteemed humanity to be so precious to Him... that he deemed the suffering of his son as mandatory). Even if our circumstances are not changed though... we have the promise of God's presence and support in our lives and I don't think that is something we should dismiss as a consolation prize.

Another thing I've been doing of late, is rewatching Babylon 5. About a week or so ago I was in the latter end of Season 1. It was then that I hit upon the idea of trying to get to the season 3 episode "Passing Through Gethsemane" by Maundy Thursday... as the importance placed on events in the garden... are a central theme to the episode.

At one point the character of Brother Edward (played by Brad Dourif), is asked what is at the core of his beliefs. This is his answer:

"On the night before our Lord was crucified, he spent the night alone in the garden of Gethsemane and he knew that they were going to come for him and in a moment of weakness he asked if this cup could pass from him if he could be spared the pain and death that would come with morning; and of course the cup would not pass and the soldiers would come to Gethsemane; but he did not have to be there when they arrived. He could have chosen to leave... to postpone the inevitable for a few hours or even days. He knew what would happen but he chose to stay, to sacrifice himself and thus atone for the sins of others. A very fragile, human moment... and I've often thought about that night and I honestly don't know if I would have had the courage to have stayed."

Again it reinforces the loneliness and anguish experienced by Christ in Gethsemane... it also underlines his absolute resolve in completing his mission... the redemption of humanity. At the same time it challenges us about the level of our own convictions. When everything is called into question, when the cost is high and spiritual, emotional or even physical adversity loom over us... are we prepared to stand by our beliefs?

Brother Edward later discovers that he has a hidden past... he was once a serial killer who had been mind wiped for his crimes.... years later as an utterly benign and humble monk, he is forced to discover this truth when the relatives of his victims seek him out for revenge. Edward finds himself in a similar scenario to Christ... and following his example. He too, chooses to remain:

I find this scene extremely moving... especially the sincerity and compassion offered to Edward from Brother Theo (played by Louis Turenne), such is its impact on me that I actually well up with tears.

In his dying moments, Edward is filled with fear. Is there enough forgiveness for him... given what he has done? Theo reassures him that there is and administers the last rites.

If you ever find yourself asking yourself if there is enough forgiveness available to what you have done... then be assured the same is true for you. God's forgiveness is not based on a numeric accumulation of the wrongs you have done offset against Christ's sacrifice. It is dependent on only two things: Christ's sacrifice once for all, itself... and your genuine desire to repent of what you have done.

It doesn't matter what you have done. As long as you are willing to turn away from it with contrition, salvation and forgiveness are yours.

The final words Jesus chose to utter as he died on the cross are all about completion. Jesus effectively says it's done, over; the debt is paid, the law is satisfied.  From the minutest misdemeanor to the most grievous violation... everything is covered.

So my message to you today is simply this. If you genuinely seek forgiveness... it's there for you. Grab it with both hands and embrace it with all your heart.

The Inconvenience of Truth

I've been giving a lot of thought lately to the subject of truth, hard truth and nothing but the potent driving force of truth.

A few of my friends are going through personal struggles at the moment, struggles which I am acutely aware revolve around them needing to face something about themselves that they are uncomfortable with.

Much as we may admire the validity of truth, even it's necessity... equally we find we are uncomfortable with the concept.

Truth by it's very nature leaves us naked and cold, beneath the gaze of the watching world. In the book of Genesis, it's the realisation of literal nakedness, that drives man to first hide from God...

... and he's been running like a madman ever since.

I have some friends I used to know at church. They went to university and never came back. However, when I or other people from our shared background try to add them as friends to something as trivial as Facebook, they universally ignore us. I truly believe they are so afraid that we will hit them with the belief mallet, that they run a mile.

I find that sad.

I've always tried to accept people where they in their lives... even if their path leads them somewhere I am not comfortable with. It's their choice, their life... and they must do as they see fit.

I truly believe that such people are afraid... not so much of the people they used to know, but more about the fact that in revisiting the past, they have to ask hard questions about where they are now.Faced with that decision, it's sometimes easy to see why people prefer to hide in the dark... underneath the duvet.

And on a much more serious note...

For those of you who are not aware, today is Holocaust Memorial Day... it is a day when the need for truth is great. We live in an age where evil men, men who in an attempt to justify their vile politics and beliefs, seek to deny or cover up the deeds of their political ancestors. "The Holocaust didn't happen!" is their battle cry... or often they are more subtle and merely try to play down the figures...

... but how can you play down astronomical figures that reach well into the millions?

Think about that for a second and don't look at it as if it's merely another number... millions!

That's all your family... gone.

All your friends... gone.

All your neighbours... gone.

The simple truth is that too many people were cruelly snatched away from this life for it to be so casually dismissed as it is by some. Heck - even if it were just one person, that would be one person too much... nobody deserves to live and eventually die like that... nobody.

People who committed such atrocities and those who seek to deny them, adopt such a position because deep down they know how so very wrong their dark ideologies are. They have to harden their hearts and blind themselves to it... because that is the only way they can justify themselves.

Jesus once commented on the human habit of hiding from the truth:

"This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."

John 3:19-21

Some of that is a bit heavy... and some of it seems nonsensical. Are all men wilfully evil, are we to be lumped in with those who approve of genocide? Well no, Jesus isn't saying we all go round looking for innocent children to butcher, he's saying that we are all corrupted by our human nature, broken by it... and under it's and influence. It's our sinfulness that wants to hide... you've all heard of the mythical "11th" commandment- don't get caught out. Make no mistake. though.. whether our sins are as despicable as genocide or typically menial (as most people's probably are by comparison); the final fate of a life spent outside of the grace of God, is the same... death.

We must all face the truth... we must all face up to what we have done. However... there is hope.

Facing the truth is not so much about facing up to what you have done. Truth is about facing him.

Real truth is a person:

Jesus said "I am the way and the truth and the life".

He also said that if we followed him (in his strength), that we would know the truth and the truth would set us free.

Knowing Jesus is freedom.

But what of truly evil men who repent? You know... the ones who turn to God after a life of despicable acts? What does Jesus mean when he says that it may be plainly seen that what these people have done has been done through God? Does he mean that all the evil that men do, is fuelled by God?

No.

What he means, is that when these people turn around from their wickedness and turn away from their vile acts, it is God who enabled them to do it.

All that is required on our part, is that we turn to Jesus and look at him. If we constantly look at what we have done, we get dragged down into the miry clay. If we fix our gaze on him, his love compels us to rise out of the pit. We have to let him look at the depths of our heart... and understand that no matter what we have done, we are not beyond salvation. The only thing that will not be forgiven is our unwillingness to be forgiven... our stubborn refusal to accept his grace.

In the Babylon 5 episode, The Very Long Night of Londo Mollari, the titular character has a near fatal heart attack and whilst unconscious goes through an arduous epiphany. He stubbornly refuses to face what he's done to the character of G'Kar, only two words are required of him. Two genuine, heartfelt words that will set him free from his perilous condition...

"I'm sorry"

That is merely a picture... but it is the same. All we need to do in order to be saved, is take the courage to look at Jesus - let him know how genuinely sorry we are for our broken ways, and he will transform us with his love.

There's an old worship song that comes to mind... and I think I'll part with it's words for now, leaving it as a meditation for you to contemplate.... whoever you are and whatever you've done:

God of grace, I turn my face
To You, I cannot hide
My nakedness, my shame, my guilt
Are all before Your eyes

Strivings and all anguished dreams
In rags lie at my feet
And only grace provides the way
For me to stand complete

And Your grace clothes me in righteousness
And Your mercy covers me in love
Your life adorns and beautifies
I stand complete in You

© 1990 Sovereign Lifestyle Music

A Time To Be Meek And A Time To Be Bold

I read a very interesting story about Alexander the Great in my Bible notes the other day.

Apparently Alexander prided himself on allowing his subjects to visit him and make requests. On one such occasion, a pauper came to him to make a request... nothing unusual in that. However this man didn't just hold his hand out for alms, he stepped forward with a shopping list that included farmland, a dowry for his daughter and a scholarly education for is son. The court waited nervously... surely this man would be executed... or at the very least, thrown in jail for showing such impertinence.

However, that is not what happened. According to the tale, Alexander acceded to every wish. After the beggar jubilantly left the palace, Alexander's servants began to express their shock at what had transpired. When asked why he had acted as he did, Alexander shrugged it off by saying "I get weary of these people who come to see me in their shoals asking for a gold piece. That man treated me like a king. He asked big!"

We can come to God in much the same way... but hold on... didn't Jesus say something quite different? He once told a parable:

"Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'

"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'

"I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

Luke 8:10-14

I don't think these stories are contradictory... even though one is biblical and the other is not.

You see... Alexander's beggar wasn't exalting himself; he was recognising the exalted nature of his king.

The crucial thing to remember whenever we pray, is that we should be centring our thoughts and petitions on God... and not ourselves. When we approach God knowing our need of forgiveness, we must not become obsessed with our failings to the point that we refuse to receive God's mercy. The tax collector knew how bad he was... but he also knew the only person who could change that situation was God... so that is who his prayer focused on.

You see in his own way, the tax collector was very bold. He knew his failings, he knew the penalty of his failings.... yet he went before God anyway. He didn't wallow in self pity (for this in the end just leads to a never ending cycle of repeating the same mistakes - take that from someone writing, who has had experience in such things).

Unlike Alexander's beggar, the tax collector didn't seem to expect anything... he just hoped God would hear him and grant mercy.

Maybe you are reading this and you feel you are in the same position. How can God forgive you for what you have done? Do you prefer to hide it all away and just take it for granted that you are doomed?

There is hope.

God sees the genuine nature within our hearts. If we sincerely regret what we have done, we can have confidence that he will forgive us.

We must be meek enough to realise what we have done is wrong... and bold enough not to withhold ourselves from God... we must have the courage to come forward and ask forgiveness. It needn't be in front of an altar...you can do it just as well in the privacy of your bedroom.

And when we come to God with petitions... if he is at the centre of our requests, we can have confidence in his power to provide. We forget too easily that God is the ultimate resource. We prefer instead to struggle on in our own vain strength.

Yet as Paul prayed when writing to the Church at Ephesus... God is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or even imagine.

Jesus himself told his disciples that God responds to shameless audacity (as long as it is not selfish), that he longs to give us good things, and yet like the prodigal son we squirm around in the mud looking for pig slop.... when if we only lifted our eyes... there lies a banquet for us.

God did not put a Spirit of timidity within us. I am utterly convinced that big things are coming in this generation... but we need to wise up, we need to wake up. We need to be prepared to ask for God's empowerment if we we truly want to be a part of hi wondrous plan.

We need to get real. We need to stop being selfish and doing things in our own strength... we need to remember who we work for and that we can ask boldly for his power to be at work in us.

Lets conclude with the words of John Wesley, from his hymn And Can It Be That I Should Gain? In the final verse:

No condemnation now I dread;
Jesus, and all in Him, is mine;
Alive in Him, my living Head,
And clothed in righteousness divine,
Bold I approach the eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.
Bold I approach the eternal throne,
And claim the crown, through Christ my own.

The Burden

I thought crossed my mind last night as I made my way back from my annual midnight vigil at church.

When Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemane, we know he could have escaped. We know he was sorely tempted to do so, pleading "Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done."

But what is special about why Jesus remained?

Many people will make the mistake of assuming that Jesus was just afraid for his life. If that were the case, there have been many people who have shared that feeling... who have remained somewhere they didn't want to be and sacrificed there life. What sets Jesus experience apart from those?

Well, Jesus had greater reason to deter him, than just mortal fear. There are two extra things that take the hardship Jesus endured on the night of his arrest... far beyond the human experience.

Firstly, there was his relationship with the Father. John's Gospel explicitly states that Jesus wasn't just God's Son... he is also of one being with the Father - they have a shared existence.

"I and the Father are one."

John 10:30

This was clearly weighing heavily on Jesus' mind as he waited anxiously for the inevitable moment when his friend Judas Iscariot, would lead an armed crowd to an eventual showdown with him. John's Gospel gives a fairly detailed account of some of the things Jesus was praying about and amongst them, we find Jesus identifying himself with the Father:

"All I have is yours, and all you have is mine. And glory has come to me through them. I will remain in the world no longer, but they are still in the world, and I am coming to you. Holy Father, protect them by the power of your name—the name you gave me—so that they may be one as we are one."

John 17:10-11

We can scarcely imagine or conceive quite how this relationship works, because we are so individual. I believe we have glimpses of this when we share bonds of fellowship with say, our soul mate, or close friends and family (and of course the Church as the family of God), but it must surely pale by comparison to actually sharing your existence and consciousness with someone. Imagine if your reflection in the mirror could talk back to you and share your thoughts... and then all of a sudden you wake up one morning and look in the mirror and nobody is there.

Losing someone who is close to us is a terrible thing indeed... but how much harder is it to lose someone who is actually yourself also?

I can appreciate the wording of that is a little hard to track... but then so is the concept.

The other thing that must have been weighing very heavily on Jesus' mind, was the great burden he was about to take on.... the sin of the entire human race.

When I take into account how heavily my own failings have weighed upon me in my personal past, it completely blows my mind to think that the weight of every individual person's own gallery of failure was laid upon just one man. I was helping my father move sandbags across town today and they were incredibly heavy and it provided a good metaphor: imagine if one sandbag represented a single person's burdens throughout their life. You could manage one - your own... maybe if you were really strong you could carry a few more... but only for a time. However, to carry every single sandbag for every single person? A mere man could not do it.

But Jesus was and is not a mere man. We looked in my last entry, at how Jesus' humanity is essential to the Gospel message... about how focusing on Jesus' divinity at the expense of his humanity, can detract from who he is to us... and why he came. I'm not about to do a U turn... I still believe that. However, I will say that the reverse can also true - focusing on Jesus' humanity at the expense of his divinity can also detract from the Gospel message... for other reasons. Both aspects of his nature - the divine and the human, are fundamentally important to what he did.

The immense strain of all that is wrong with this world broke Jesus heart: there are some medical experts out there who will tell you that the cause of death in the case of Jesus Christ was a ruptured heart. It is a disputed theory... but when you consider the strain Jesus went through on that first Good Friday, it is completely believable that he died of a broken heart.

The reason why he did this was prophetically recorded hundreds of years before Jesus was born:

"Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed. We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all."

Isaiah 53:4-6

And now we come to the challenge... it is all there for you: the responsibility that weighed so heavily on him, and the sheer lengths that this man - Jesus Christ went to, in order that your own burdens would not crush you.

So as you stand there with your burden - your "sandbag", what are you going to do?

Are you going to struggle on?

Or are you going to hand them all over the the One who has already paid for them?

It's entirely your choice.

Thoughts on LOST: The Constant

I haven't written about LOST for a very long time... come to think of it, for that matter it's been a fair few days since I wrote anything at all. Well, I'm back now.

I appreciate I'm a few days late, but I'm a mere mortal and don't have Sky... so I have to wait until a work colleague loans me a tape - thanks Becky!

I think "The Constant" has to rank among one of my favourite LOST episodes... yes it features some cerebrally heavy plot twists involving the consciousness of a character travelling through time, but it was a strong character episode. Specifically it was a strong Desmond episode... and Desmond is among my favourite characters. In fact I'd say that for me, he's taken the number 1 spot from Locke.

In the episode, Desmond leaves the island to try and get some answers about his long lost love Penny Widmore. He's been trapped on the island for three years and they parted on harsh terms. When a woman named Naomi arrived bearing a photo of him and Penny in each others arms... it aroused his curiosity... and he finally gets the chance to visit the boat that Naomi came from.

Unfortunately Desmond starts suffering from strange side effects as the helicopter he is travelling on, leaves the island. Desmond had already gained precognitive ability following exposure to a strong electromagnetic pulse (his consciousness is able to travel along his personal timeline). However as he leaves the island it becomes violently unstable and his consciousness from 1996 becomes trapped in his present day body... resulting in much confusion for everyone present. It becomes apparent that he has become unstuck in time. The 1996 Desmond will keep appearing in his present body and the episodes will become more violent... leading eventually to death... unless he can find some way to stabilize the effects.

He arrives at the answer through talking to another man named Daniel Faraday... who is present in both the present and the past. He advises Desmond that he needs a "constant"; something or someone who is present in his past and his present, who can anchor him into his proper place in time before he suffers from a fatal embolism.

Desmond realises that for him, this constant is Penny.... and whilst travelling back into the past, he engineers a plan to contact her before he dies in the present day. Despite her feeling quite hurt towards him in 1996, he manages to obtain her telephone number and promises to call her on the exact day in the future that is contemporary with the Desmond we know. In doing this, he hopes that he can be restored to his respective place in time.

Here is what happens next:

Confession time:

I very nearly wept at the end of that. There was so much emotion in there I was very nearly overwhelmed...the acting was excellent and the fast inter-cutting between Des and Penny really enhanced the moment.

Wow. It really grabbed me by the heart strings and touched me where I'm vulnerable...

... did I really just say that? I'm turning into a Jessie!

It also got me thinking on a much deeper level. It is so easy for us to get lost in the world. Lost and consumed by the things around us.... people, events and concerns. What happens when we wake up and realise we don't know who or where we are anymore?

How will we get home? How do we reconnect with who we truly are?

Just like Desmond, we need a constant.

We need someone who can stand beside us, someone who has always been there for us in the past... is with us right now and will always be with us in the future.

For me there is no greater example than Jesus Christ. He is the very paragon of this notion. Who else knows us as deeply as God? King David famously wrote in Psalm 139:

"O LORD, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O LORD."

Psalm 139:1-4

and

"your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."

Psalm 139:16

We may think we are lost and forlorn... but God has not forgotten us. He is but a word away... not even the cost of a phone call. He longs to hear from us. He sent his Son to pay for all our wrongs... and he is deeply desperate for us to return into his loving arms. You may recall from Sunday School, the tale of the Prodigal Son. In that story, the son who is lost comes to his senses and decides to return home. Now the way God is often misrepresented in the modern world,you might expect the Father (the character who represents him), to be standing there with a big stick ready to punish his wayward son.

Is that the response we find?

No. The Bible says this:

"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him."

God was already on the lookout for his son; he embraced him despite his filth covered appearance. He accepted him and he restored him.

Similarly in Lost, Desmond could have quite easily been expecting the cold shoulder from Penny when he called her.... but er love had remained constant... despite how much he had hurt her.

The wonderful thing about unconditional love, is that it encourages a loving response. I love it in the clip how as soon as Penny has spoken affectionately,Desmond genuinely apologises for his past misdemeanours.

My challenge to you today is this. God is reaching out to you in love. He has already expressed his deep passion for you:

"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Romans 5:6-8

My challenge to you today is simple. Imagine you are like Desmond... holding the phone waiting to talk to Penny... but on the other end of the line is God. If you know somewhere deep in your heart that God is speaking to you of his love (in fact he has already acted upon his love, through Jesus), what is your response going to be as he hangs on the line waiting for you?

Forgiven

Being a mere mortal, I don't have access to Sky TV and so it's taken me some time to get round to seeing season 3 of Battlestar Galactica. I waited till it came out on DVD and snapped it up in good faith. When it is at the top of it's game, it is a cracking show both in terms of science fiction and political subtext.

I wanted to look at a scene that occurs in the last episode of the season, which sees the trial of the former president - Doctor Gaius Baltar:

The exchange in the above clip reminds me very much of a passage in the New Testament:

"The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"

"No one, sir," she said.

"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."

John 8:3-11

In both situations, an unsavoury character is brought forward - a person who society wants to dispose of... and it is down to Lee Adama/Jesus to sort out their respective situations.

It's very easy for us to stand in judgement of people isn't it?

We like to comfort ourselves with the belief that we are decent people... and maybe on a relative scale that's true to some extent...

However our ways are not God's ways and our standards are nowhere near as high as his. If we have any illusions that we are worthier than the next man, we only need to remind ourselves:

"for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God"

Romans 3:23

and:

"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us."

1 John 1:8

In both Battlestar Galactica and the Gospel story, the universal fact that everyone has sinned is used as a defence for the accused. For Baltar, that's merely an extension of the presidential pardon. For the woman in the Gospel story, it's an act of God's authority and divine grace intervening.

In BSG, there is every chance that Baltar will return to his ways if fate deals him a bad hand. For the woman in the Gospel, she was faced with a challenge. You are free... don't sin again, don't give them cause to seek your death.

And that is how Jesus left it - he left it up to her.

However, there is a difference between the clip you have seen and the Gospel. In BSG, the reason people want Baltar to die is because they need to project the guilt they feel for their sins on to someone - or so Lee claims.

In the Gospel, the reason God allowed his Son to die, was because he needed sin to die. God needed to project his righteousness on to us. Jesus death does not just remove guilt... it removes the very corruption that sin installs in us.

So while it was definitely unnecessary for Baltar to die, it was absolutely necessary for Jesus to die, or as Paul puts it:

"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Romans 5:6-8

and Peter also puts it like this:

"For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit"

1 Peter 3:18

In the fictional universe of Battlestar Galactica, if Baltar had died it would do nothing to alleviate guilt, or satisfy hurt and anger because Baltar is just a sinner like everyone else. I put it to you however that in this very real universe, Jesus Christ - made perfect in every way, willingly died for our sins... and we are saved on account of his righteousness.

I want to look at one final thing - the attitude of Jesus to the woman he let walk free... and how this is relevant to us.

That woman did not need to convince Jesus to speak on her behalf, he had already determined to do so. Now, you and I live in the 21st century, nearly 2 millennia after Christ last walked the Earth. You may feel sure you know the story... but it's not merely a story, it is the truth. And because we live after the facts, our dilemma is the same as that woman. You don't need to ask Jesus to die for you.

He already did it.

If you are willing to accept it, God is already for us and if this is:

"What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us."

Romans 8:31-34

So, salvation is on offer to all of you. You can walk free in God's eyes if you truly accept what he has already done for you. The price is paid. Jesus' final statement to that woman, is the same challenge he gives us once we take up his free gift of new life:

"Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"

"No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."

John 8:10-11

I pray that if you have not yet done so, you take the offer of God's free grace... and the strength he gives to obey his commands through the Holy Spirit.

In Jesus name

N

Doctor Who: The Last of the Time Lords

Oh my word... what a spectacular finale for Doctor Who!

It was kind of hard to see where it was going with the Doctor being artificially aged (even if it has happened twice before), and I originally wasn't keen on the Utopia humans being the protagonists. What can I say though, the script had me won over.

Martha was Earth's only hope, the Doctor gave her a secret message and she was sent on her way, to use this knowledge to save humanity. What did she do with this knowledge? We are led to believe that there is one weapon on the Earth that is capable of ending the Master's life... but it is separated into four parts (I rumbled this as a ruse as soon as I saw it). She has been seemingly walking the Earth seeking out the components of this weapon.

However this was not her genuine purpose at all. The mission the Doctor really charged her with, was to spread the word of who he was, what he had done and what he could do. Martha had only one weapon -words.... words and "prayer". All she really had was evangelism. She couldn't threaten the Master, she could only help other people to understand there was something better.

This is what it is like for genuine Christians. We don't have M4 or SA80 assault rifles, we don't have squadrons of joint strike fighters or fleets of warships... and we certainly don't have nuclear weapons. No, our equipment consists of:

"Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints."

- Ephesians 6:13-18

and:

"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."

- Hebrews 4:12

Like Martha we possess privileged information. We are on personal terms with the God who created us. Jesus Christ died for the sins of humankind and rose to life. Through his Spirit, he transforms our lives for the better, day by day. Yet while he has done and continues to do these things, many of the people of Earth remain blissfully unaware of who he really is. For some he is just a fairy tale, for others he's merely a vague historical figure. Their best hope of knowing him as he deserves to be known... is if we make him known to them properly. We have exactly the same call as Martha.

Eventually, Martha is betrayed into the hands of the Master... who proceeds to mock what appears to him to be nothing more than a useless scheme... all she has given the people is faith and hope... not a practical means of resistance.He then proceeds with a live televised countdown at the end of which he will execute Martha. However this is playing into her hands... because the countdown is what she needs, to get everyone on Earth thinking the same thing at the same time - "The Doctor". It is similar to the same way that Jesus played into the Devil's hands. Satan thought that the son of God had put himself into a vulnerable position and saw an opportunity to rid himself of the one person who could stop him. In fact, Jesus needed to be handed over to death in order to save mankind from it's sin.

As the people begin their "prayer", The Doctor is surrounded by incandescent blue/white light and is restored to his former glory. He levitates over to the Master... and what is the first thing he offers him?

Forgiveness.

Despite everything he has done, the Doctor offers his nemesis the offer of redemption - he feels responsible for him. In the end, the Master declines... he doesn't want to be "trapped" in the Doctor's presence. The thing is, the same offer is on the table for us... and for the same reason. God made us and loves us and feels responsible for us. He wants us to respond to his love:

"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him! For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation."

- Romans 5:6-11

The offer as I said, is on the table. You have a choice... are you going to be hard-hearted and die like The Master? I'm sure he'll be back... but you and I don't have the luxury of a Time Lord ring to bring us back, do we? The Doctor's reaction when his enemy stubbornly refuses to listen and dies in his arms, is the exact same reaction I believe God has when his people who he loved and created, reject him and refuse his offer of grace. He said these words of the nation of Israel... but his heart is the same for you and I:

"Rid yourselves of all the offenses you have committed, and get a new heart and a new spirit. Why will you die, O house of Israel? For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone, declares the Sovereign LORD. Repent and live!"

- Ezekiel 18:31-32

""Son of man, say to the house of Israel, 'This is what you are saying: "Our offenses and sins weigh us down, and we are wasting away because of them. How then can we live?" 'Say to them, 'As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign LORD, I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live. Turn! Turn from your evil ways! Why will you die, O house of Israel?'"

- Ezekiel 33:10-11

I wonder if that is where you are at? You may have just stumbled in here looking for a synopsis or an opinion of the episode, and now you are maybe faced with a little more than you bargained for.

If that is you then please follow this link to a Keith Green song, close your eyes and pray the lyrics through.

Don't put it off... because you don't have any more regenerations.

Regrets... I've had a few.

I was reading Alistair's blog on being a time travelling vicar last night, and it prompted me to think of my own past... and a few of the things I might have done differently. Lets just think for a minute or two:

If only I had my own TARDIS, I could travel back 70 1975 and warn my mother to keep her 1 year old son away from boiling teapots. If that had happened I might not have been scalded. I could materialize in 1986 and tell an insecure teen aged Nick on his first day at secondary school, not to worry about getting too close with people, that it is OK to let people love you... and not to manipulate them into merely liking you as a eccentric fool.

I could appear back in 1994 and tell myself not to worry about college fees or loneliness and go off to university to study journalism or film editing. I could even have travelled back to 1996 and make it absolutely crystal clear to myself that not all that glitters is gold and that I should be a little more astute in choosing my romantic liaisons.

If you look at these historical hiccups, you can see that they are all interconnected... each one stems from it's chronological predecessor. If I could alter the past they'd never happen and it'd all be different.

The simple truth is though that the past happened and I can't change it. Even if I could... I might end up in a much darker world than I could possibly imagine. I'd be a different person. It is an idea that has been explored many times in popular science fiction: Star Trek, Babylon 5, The Final countdown, Transformers, The Butterfly Effect, Donnie Darko, Frequency and of course Doctor Who... to name but a few.

You often hear an expression in saccharine dramas and soap operas when a person is on their death bed - "I have no regrets". Is that really the case though? I know I certainly regret a couple of things I have done wrong, some of the opportunities I have let slip out of my grasp. I do regret them.. is that so bad?

I don't believe it is.

You see if we didn't regret the things we have done wrong, how could we repent of them? How could we pick ourselves up out of the dirt and pledge to redouble our efforts never to make the same mistake again? If we didn't regret missing past opportunities... where would we get the determination not to feel the same way the next time an opportunity arises?

The worst part of a crime is not when we fall off our horse, it is when we decide to stay sat in the puddle afterwards. I believe it is OK to have a few regrets in life... just so long as your regrets do not have you. When your past overshadows you, it rules your future.

As a Christian I believe that my God is Lord of the past, present and future:

"I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more."

- Isaiah 43:25

"There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off."

- Proverbs 23:18

""For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.""

- Jeremiah 29:11

"Each of the four living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under his wings. Day and night they never stop saying: "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come.""

- Revelation 4:8

"Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."

- Hebrews 13:8

So whilst I have a past... a past with its own fair share of mistakes, successes and the mundane, I have a greater belief that there is one who sets me free from any chains that may be found in my yesterdays... and the hope and faith that he is able to inspire me to a better tomorrow.

I don't wish to be hypocritical and so I'll be up front and honest with you. I struggle with stepping forwards, if I'm candid I have to say that I'm very timid when it comes to bold hopes. I am my own worst enemy. Take women for example.... I am as much terrified by the prospect of being accepted by a woman who genuinely loves me... as i am of being alone. So I make the mistake of embracing the familiar.

That is an attitude that I urge you not to emulate in any area of your life.

If you have a past that you feel you need to come to terms with, maybe you might considering seeking God on this. Be reconciled with your history.

Maybe while you are doing it, you could remember me... and ask God to plant a firm kick on my backside whilst you are at it.

Friendships Forged in Compassion

I was thinking the other day, about the things in my heart that cause me to connect with others in deep and special ways.

This came about because there is somebody I am not particularly close to... in fact I barely know them (a rueful neglect I am keen to amend), who I have suddenly felt highly compassionate towards. The change in my attitude came through a simple kind gesture of comfort (a hug) between us last week, although to be perfectly honest I'm not totally sure who was comforting who.

Reflecting back on that moment, it has suddenly hit me. My deepest friendships and relationships have always been cemented in compassion... through a shared experience when either myself, or the other person has been suffering and the other gave comfort. In truth, I think some people would be very surprised to know how closely I regard them... and there are other friends who think they are close... but really have barely scratched the surface and are not in the same league as "the few".

It all reminds me of something the apostle Paul once said:

"I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead."

Philippians 3:10-11

It sounds a little masochistic doesn't it? However I believe what Paul is talking about... is striving to know God in a deeper way. Sometimes the price of that is very high... and Paul knew all about that. Jailed, beaten, flogged, rejected and eventually beheaded for the Gospel... he truly did put his relationship with God, above his own personal welfare.

I think you'd find it very hard to argue that Paul had a deep friendship with God.

Furthermore it says in scripture:

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."

Psalm 34:18

He draws near to people who are in pain and takes compassion on them. People forget that when Lazarus died, Jesus didn't just casually walk up to the tomb and raise him from the dead... he was "deeply moved" and "troubled in spirit first". In fact the shortest verse in the Bible comes from that passage... and although in modern society it has been abused and relegated to a cuss phrase when something goes wrong... still it remains one of the most moving revelations of Jesus as a person:

"Jesus wept."

Luke 11:35

So God shares in our pain and comes close to us when we are hurting, if only we let him.

So you might be thinking... "oh great! If I want God to love me... I have to get the crud beaten out of me"; however, that is not what I am saying.

Remember I said earlier that my strongest friendships were based on times when either myself or the other person suffered and the other had compassion.

God desired our love and compassion so much, he became the suffering party... through his son Jesus. For me personally, Christ's sacrifice binds me to him above all others. No one has suffered as much for me and nobody loves me as much as him. nobody is as deserving of my love as him.

If you wish to experience that love, it is all there for you to take. All you need to do is recognise that you aren't right with God, repent of the way you have lived. Then, believe in Jesus and take him at his word. If he settles your account it is finished.

I realise that makes it sound like a recipe for making a cake but it really is that simple... as long as you are earnest in doing it.

Blessings

N

Debtwatch 7: Tetelestai!

Yes, I know... a bit of a random subtitle.

I wanted to put something similar to the last post's title... but I didn't want to confuse two completely separate issues.

Fortunately in my bible notes the other day, I came across the word the Greeks use to describe that same phrase Jesus spoke... Tetelestai.

In ancient times this phrase was used to declare that an account had been paid in full. It was customary after a debt had been paid, for the debtor to present their bill to the creditor who would then write across it "Tetelestai."

Paid in full.

Apparently the tense used in the Gospel would render it something like "it has been and will for ever remain finished."

So in a small way, my worldly debts have now joined my eternal debts in being forever paid off by Christ.

Its been an interesting and surprisingly brief journey. I have worked hard and by God's grace alone have been faithful in seeing this through. To think that it all started with the destruction of a Vauxhall Astra back in July... when up until that point I had been dragging my feet and staring at the ground in a spirit of defeatism, astounds me.

I don't just consider the financial aspect of this debt removed... everything that caused me to be in that position in the first place is gone... forever. Anything I do now does not carry with it the millstone of consequence.

It is a new dawn, a new day... maybe even a new age.

The past is nothing more than prologue and no longer casts shadows on my path. I walk free. Once more I have freedom of choice. What I do with that choice is now an open book. Having made stupid mistakes in the past, I don't intend to walk again down the path of self destruction again. In a sense this should also be our attitude to God's saving grace. Having known the damage our sin caused us... and having known the price Christ paid for it... we should not casually stroll down the path of our mistakes ever again. We may stray onto the path from time to time... but if our faith means anything at all... we shouldn't deliberately mistreat Christ's total repayment of our crippling and destructive eternal debt.

Balance left on debt: £0.00
Cash in short term savings reserves: £100.00
Cash left in current account that I hope to spare for debt repayment: N/A
Estimated balance for next Debtwatch report: N/A
Original Finish Date for completion of Payments - October 2007
Estimated Completion of Payments - "TETELESTAI!"

I just want to conclude these meditations on my finances by reaffirming my absolute conviction that, just as God helped me to clear my physical debt; he also has the ability to wipe out the debt of your sin... forever... permanently.

In fact he has already done it, by paying for it all in full on the cross. All you need to do is accept and believe it.... and a new day, a new life shall begin.

Are you ready to do that?

The God Who Needs No Doors

Happy Resurrection Day, or if the traditionalists among you really must insist... Easter.

One of the things that first convinced me of the resurrection as a reality in my mind, was the simplicity of it. Isn't it true with lies, that you have to concoct evermore elaborate tales to maintain the illusion of your falsehoods?

The Gospels don't do this... and this is what I find remarkable. As this is the season, I thought I'd look at it in a little detail today. Here are the examples:

"After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb. There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men. The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.' Now I have told you."" Matthew 28:1-7

Note from that passage that Jesus had already exited the tomb... no explanation given, Matthew doesn't invent a cute, clever mechanism as to how this might have happened... he just writes it as it was perceived. Simple and straight to the point, as a reliable account should be kept.

We do get a little insight into this later on:

"On the evening of that first day of the week, when the disciples were together, with the doors locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!" After he said this, he showed them his hands and side. The disciples were overjoyed when they saw the Lord." John 20:19-20

and:

"A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, "Peace be with you!" Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe."

Thomas said to him, "My Lord and my God!"

Then Jesus told him, "Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."" John 20:26-29

So clearly, Jesus had either the ability to walk through walls or teleport (heck he's the Son of God... my guess he can pick or choose at his discretion). Now I've heard some people put forward a scientific suggestion that the resurrection somehow involved atomic change and Jesus, with a body now made up of neutrons would be able to pass through solids while retaining solid form. I don't want to get into intellectual stuff now though... it dilutes the message.

Again, the events are recorded.. but not explained away ad infinitum.

Yesterday, I wrote with regard to the reasons why Jesus Christ endured the cross - that we may have life... and have it to the full, to save us... not condemn us.

Now I will tell you one thing Jesus will not do:

"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." John 3:20


Jesus Christ, the omnipotent Son of God who does not have need of doors, will not enter the door of your heart against your will. That verse proves it. He'll stand outside knocking... sometimes that knocking will be loud... and sometimes his knuckles will be raw from that knocking, because of his great passion for you. He will however, not enter into your heart if you do not welcome him. Much as he loves you, he respects your free will that much.

Knowing now what he came to do, what I wonder is your choice going to be? Are you going to hide behind the sofa like my mum got me and my sister to do as kids when the JW's came round (why?), or are you going to be brave... take a stand and open that door and say like Thomas, "My Lord and my God!"?

Think on it. Jesus does not say if you open the door, that he will beat you about the head with a cudgel... he comes to help, to heal and to save. I won't lie to you... sometimes I've been disciplined... but it has never been capricious or malevolent... and it has only happened when I have become proud, stubborn and thought of myself as something more than I ought. My promise to you is this. If you are broken, he will not break you still further... it simply isn't what he does - the Bible says that a bruised reed he will not break.

Are you that bruised reed? Then maybe, just maybe you know you need to take a chance on God's promises to you.

So once again, happy Resurrection Day - Easter, whatever you call it. Enjoy your chocolate... but learn to enjoy Jesus too.

Blessings

N

Laying Down an Old Burden

"It is the old wound king, my king. It has never healed" - Lancelot ("Excalibur", 1981)

I have carried something inside me for a long time, and recently I've been having dreams that have taken me back into my past... back to the very heart of the matter. I feel this is a prompt to talk about the subject and get it off my chest.

In all of Creation, there is one type of man that I cannot abide:

"They are the kind who worm their way into homes and gain control over weak-willed women, who are loaded down with sins and are swayed by all kinds of evil desires." 2 Timothy 3:6

I have never openly admitted why this such a bugbear with me... now I shall. I've held this in for some time because despite the wrong done to me, I value honour above many things... and I won't drag someone through the dirt on account of what they have said or done to me. That is why no names will be named... and only the people who really know me will understand.

I once dated someone - they were no good for me... I know that now. I tarried longer than I should because I felt I could be a force for good... they had seemingly lost faith in God, after a while into our relationship... as it was on "my watch" I felt a degree of responsibility - fool that I was. Every so often, the wiser part of me... the part that wanted out, would get fed up and a row would ensue. I'd go away and cool off and I'd eventually come round full circle.

There was this bus driver...

He befriended her. I was a little suspicious, but I told myself that I was allowing petty jealousy to get the better of me, so I put it to the back of my mind. That was until one day when we had a really big row. I disappeared for about a week. It was during that week that it happened (several times). He saw his opportunity and took it in both hands. I think you know what I'm talking about... it doesn't need saying.

The biggest mistake I ever made, was not seeing that one moment for what it was. So bewitched was I (like the Prince Rilian in C.S. Lewis' "The Silver Chair"), that I even did my best to forgive that. I reasoned that if I could demonstrate forgiveness to that level, maybe she'd understand how much God loved her (when I talk of forgiveness in this context, I wish to make it clear that I am talking in terms of continuing a relationship... not with regard to sin itself). All she cared about was getting her crutch back though. I carried my burden for some time after that... and when I think of how heavy that could of been in terms of consequences, I shudder... and thank God for the grace he showed me in helping me to awaken from my living nightmare.

While I have been healed of the experience, the memory of that time has always coloured my perception of male/female friendships. I do believe that platonic relationships between men and women are possible... in fact, I thrive on them... a couple of my best friends are women (easier to talk to). However, when somebody I am close to who is in a relationship, is approached by another man, I will always regard that man with suspicion. This is especially the case when a man lurks on the fringes of their social circle and when he "has their ear" too readily. I don't like players and seducers.

This has a lot to do with the road I have walked and I have two things to say to men:

1) I am sorry if I have regarded you unfairly because of my pain.

2) Please do not prove me correct in this matter... ever.

Me and this issue? We're done now.

The Cost of Correction

Many years ago Arun Gandhi (grandson of the political and spiritual leader Mahatma Gandhi), moved back to South Africa with his father to continue the struggle against apartheid. One day Arun was asked by his elderly father to drive him to a meeting in Johannesburg, then drop off the car at a garage for it's service before picking him up from the meeting at 5pm.

Now Arun realised it would take some time to wait for the car, so he decided to bide the time by going to watch a film at the nearest cinema... which just happened to be showing a double feature that day. He emerged from the cinema and checked his watch. Horrified, he realised that it was already past 5 o'clock. He rushed to the place where his father was waiting, on the corner in the pouring rain... rapidly thinking of plausable excuses for his lateness. Then he said "Father, you must forgive me. It is taking them longer to repair the automobile than I thought it would take, but if you wait here I will go and get the car. It should be ready by now."

His father silently bowed his head and looked downward, then after what seemed like a long time he finally said "When you were not here at our meeting time I called the garage to see why you were late. They told me that the automobile was ready at 3 o'clock! Now I have to give some thought as to how I have failed, so as to have a son who would lie to his own father. I will have to think about this. So I am going to walk home and use the time during my walk to meditate on this question."

Arun could not bring himself to just drive off without his father. Instead, he followed the elderly man home watching him stagger along the muddy road as the rain fell down upon him. Arun continually flashed the car headlights to try and gain his father's attention... but it was to no avail. His father relentlessly stumbled all the way on the long journey towards home. Overcome with remorse for his actions, Arun repeatedly beat the steering wheel and said over and over to himself "I will never lie again! I will never lie again!"

It is a true story - Arun himself recounted it to Tony Campolo when the two of them met.

It is also true that this is exactly how God corrects us. God has a plan for us right from the very beginning in fact even before we are born. However, being selfish and broken by our sinful nature. We rebel against that plan... either by not doing what is right, or actively doing what is wrong. We are disobedient.

The Bible teaches us that the punishment of our disobedience - for being slaves to the sinful nature is death. So what does God do about this? Does he beat us with a big stick or throw lightning bolts at us?

No.

Like Arun's father, God took the punishment of our actions upon himself, by sending Jesus to suffer and die in our place. In the same way that Arun watched his father trudge home in the rain, we look upon Christ crucified... a righteous man willingly taking the punishment for the mistakes of God's children. The price is paid.

However if we look at Arun's response to his father, I believe it gives us opportunity to examine our own attitude towards God. Arun knowing what suffering his disobedience had caused his father... repented and resolved to change his attitude. Imagine you are in that car... that it is you behind the wheel and Jesus is walking down the road ahead of you carrying his cross to Calvary.

The way I see it, there are two responses. You can callously drive off home and face the consequences yourself... or you can follow Jesus... continually reminding yourself of the cost of what you have done and resolving daily not to do it again.

Arun's father did not despise him... he wanted Arun to be a good son. Likewise God does not despise you or I (even though we deserve it), he merely wishes us to be restored to be the people he called us to be. Now let me tell you another story... one that Jesus told:

To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'

"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'

"I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted." Luke 28:9-14

Maybe you think you are OK and don't need Jesus, in which case I urge you to think on why God considered the situation so grave that he sent his Son to make payment by dying for our sins. Then think what the implications of that are for you personally.

Or maybe you are a Christian and have found Jesus and have a relaxed attitude to your behaviour because you know that the blood of Jesus covers our sins. In which case I urge you to think again what those sins did to Jesus, for:

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."
1 Corinthians 1:19,20

Discover who you are and what you were called to be in Christ, and if you have forgotten... remember.

Jesus did not just die to destroy our sin, he was raised to enable us to rise above it. He promised us his Spirit would be with us until the end of the age. If you want to know what that's about I encourage you to pray these words:

Dear God, I come to You in the name of Jesus.

I now realize that I have a choice to make concerning my life. I believe that Jesus died and shed his blood for my sins and rose from the dead giving me the way to fellowship with You and to live eternally with You.

Knowing this I choose to renounce my past and I accept the price Jesus paid for me to be total and complete, because You said it is. I choose Jesus to be Lord of my life and to live within me, and I choose to live for You from this moment on.

I believe right now that I am indeed born again. My spirit is a brand new creation and I stand before You heavenly Father worthy not because of my actions, but because Jesus justifies me.

Thank You for loving me and accepting me into your family.

Amen

One Solitary Life

A child is born in an obscure village. He is brought up in another obscure village. He works in a carpenter shop until he is thirty, and then for three brief years is an itinerant preacher, proclaiming a message and living a life. He never writes a book. He never holds an office. He never raises an army. He never has a family of his own. He never owns a home. He never goes to college. He never travels two hundred miles from the place where he was born. He gathers a little group of friends about him and teaches them his way of life. While still a young man the tide of popular feeling turns against him. One denies him; another betrays him. He is turned over to his enemies. He goes through the mockery of a trial; he is nailed to a cross between two thieves, and when dead is laid in a borrowed grave by the kindness of a friend.

Those are the facts of his human life. He rises from the dead. Today we look back across nineteen hundred years and ask, What kind of trail has he left across the centuries? When we try to sum up his influence, all the armies that ever marched, all the parliaments that ever sat, all the kings that ever reigned are absolutely picayune in their influence on mankind compared with that of this one solitary life...

I have read several diferent variations of the above writing, this isn't the one I'm most familiar with... but apparently it is the original. I chose it because it is the only one I could find that references the fact that Jesus rose again. I'd add the following for your consideration: Even those who do not believe in Jesus cannot escape being influenced by his story. For... art, literature and culture have been saturated with him literally and through semiotics and allegory.

How many songs... how many poems... how many books... how many paintings... how many movies... how many programmes while not explicitly being about him... have absorbed elements of Christ's story? Too many to tell!

Do you feel mediocre or insignificant? Do you come from humble backgrounds? Rejoice, that is how Jesus started and he changed the world forever. If you want to be a world changer... follow him.

Jesus is alive, but to truly experience him... you have to accept him... not just as an obscure and vague historical figure... but as the man who died for our sins and rose to reign as king and prepare a place for us.

He lives...

Forgiveness

A couple of days ago I left a couple of comments on Gerry's space. I was responding to what somebody else was saying with regard to Gerry's posting on the subject of forgiveness.

Despite apparently being an American pastor... which would give him some authority, Gerry's visitor had displayed a distinctly unchristian attitude on the subject. He had suggested that Christians only need to forgive other Christians for sinning against them and that it was perfectly ok to withhold forgiveness from non-Christians, that righteous anger is always paramount.

This is so out of touch with the Gospel message. Righteous anger has it's place, but Christ himself whithheld his anger at a time when it was most deserved. No, God's word compels us to love the sinner but hate the sin. You only need look at the Sermon on the Mount to understand this. Lets look at The Lord's Prayer first (Matthew 6:9-15):

"This, then, is how you should pray:

" 'Our Father in heaven,

hallowed be your name,

your kingdom come,

your will be done

on earth as it is in heaven.

Give us today our daily bread.

Forgive us our debts,

as we also have forgiven our debtors.

And lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from the evil one.

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."

Just before he said that, he also gave this teaching: (Matthew 5:43-48)

"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

Now, you could argue that these scriptures seem to be contradicting what we are taught in church; namely that we are under grace through Jesus sacrifice on the cross, that our forgiveness is not dependent on anything on our part... but is a divine gift of God. If God has forgiven us eternally... then surely we won't be condemned if we don't forgive our enemies?

Now look at this parable of Jesus from Matthew 18:21-35:

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"
Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
"Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. "The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded. "His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.' "But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.

"Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart."

When we become Christians we turn away from the world's way of doing things, and we adopt heavenly clothing. We take on Christ's attitudes towards things. We are called to become more like Jesus in our daily lives, for Ephesians 5 teaches:

"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God."

When he died, Jesus had many enemies... he didn't deserve them. The Sanhedrin, under the influence of Annas and Caiaphas... conspired to have him killed. Pilate ordered his crucifixion, the romans beat him to a pulp, flogged him to within an inch of his life... then frog-marched him with the cross to Golgotha. There they crucified him. ALL of these people wronged Jesus, ALL of them sinned against him. NONE of them apologised. At the time, none of them were Christians.

And what did Jesus do...? What did he say to them for this injustice?

Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

You see, if we have fellowship with God... we eventually become like him. However if we refuse to forgive others... to love our enemies... then we are not living by Godly principles... we are living by the world's standards and not Christ's. If this is the case, then God's grace has no meaning in ourlives and we are not genuine.

The conclusion of the matter then; is that God's grace through Christ is not dependent on us forgiving others... but if we truly love God and have really accepted Christ's forgiveness, then the Spirit of forgiveness will be at work in us... if it is not then we are not in Christ.

I'm not saying any of us is perfect... certainly not me... and we all needs God's grace, not just for our own forgiveness - but for us also to be able to carry out what God asks of us.

If however, you know that you have a problem forgiving others... you need to go and pray through it with someone.

Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Nick