Inconveniences and Opportunities

It's been an interesting week for the Church of England, to say the least.

On Thursday the Archbishop of Canterbury - Justin Welby, revealed that he had plans for the Church of England to back credit unions in a bid to compete payday loan companies out of existence. It was a move that for once saw widespread backing come in from outside the Church, rather than criticism or condemnation... even among hardened atheists. Yet even as the platitudes came in, the archbishop was about to discover all too personally... what a difference a day makes.

The very next morning news broke that the Church of England itself indirectly invested in Wonga, causing much embarrassment and irritation on the part of the Archbishop.   Many of the voices that had been so supportive just 24 hours previous, were now numbered among the mockers and scoffers who relish any opportunity to point out the Church's faults and failings.  Even Wonga themselves hit back with a parody of the 10 commandments in a new marketing campaign.

In truth it's not the first time the Church has been in trouble with where it invests money. I remember as a teenager being extremely disappointed when reading a story that the Church had investments in a subsidiary of the arms manufacturer, Lockheed Martin. Someone had told me a few years ago that this had been rectified and yet as Welby himself admits... where the Church decides to invest its money is a murky area simply for the fact that a hotel chain may seem an innocent enough investment, but it might choose in turn, to sell pornography to its clientele - something that an outside investor seemingly has little control over.

These facts may appear at first glance to be a major inconvenience and yet I can't help thinking that the recent turn of events has a precedent in the Old Testament. In approximately 640BC Josiah acceded to the throne of the kingdom of Judah. His father Amon had been an idolater but Josiah had not followed in his footsteps but instead chosen to try and follow God. 18 years into his reign, Josiah decided that he wanted to refurbish the Temple in Jerusalem.  He probably thought he was doing a noble thing and yet very soon after he began the venture, Hilkiah the High Priest shattered his illusions by walking into the royal court with a copy of the long neglected Law that he had discovered.  Josiah was so distressed by what he had read, that he tore his robes.

King Josiah and Justin Welby share this in common - they both started out on a godly venture only to be confronted by the shortcomings of their respective factions.

I find that often it is during the times we express a desire to serve God, that he tosses a grenade into the room to test our resolve and commitment to the cause. It is messy, it hurts, it is infuriating and it is embarrassing.  How we respond when faced with these inconveniences and difficult emotions defines whether or not we are truly called to the path of action.

How did King Josiah respond to his embarrassment and humbling?  Quite simply, he committed himself and his people to a series of reforms the like of which had not been seen before. His legacy is remembered fondly in the book of 2 Kings:

"Neither before nor after Josiah was there a king like him who turned to the Lord as he did—with all his heart and with all his soul and with all his strength, in accordance with all the Law of Moses."

2 Kings 23:25

So I think that over 2,500 years later Justin Welby finds himself in good company and can take solace from the fact that inconveniences like these.... are actually divine opportunities in disguise. What matters now, is where he and we go from here. Do we succumb to our embarrassment or do we, like Josiah redouble our efforts and go much, much further with our commitments than we originally imagined.  Early indications seem to suggest that this is exactly what the Church of England is priming itself to do and scrutinising more closely where the Church's money is coming from and going to is the first step on this path.

Similarities between Justin Welby's and King Josiah's trials

This encourages me and I think with a little imagination and some savvy alliances with a few pressure groups (such as the people behind No More Page3), we might be able to do something about hotel chains selling pornography to clientele as well. Maybe we won't eliminate it... but we could perhaps persuade a chain to abandon the practice and get them endorsed by pressure groups if they do so.

• How would you like to see the Church of England respond to the Wonga episode?
• Would you support a wider campaign of reforms within and outside the Church?

Preaching Practice

I promised earlier that I would republish my first sermon here once delivered... I've had to amend a challenge at the end for reasons that you will see. However I'd like to think that the way I've reformatted that challenge for use on the Internet, kills several birds with one stone. If you aren't up for a read tonight... then in the words of Tim Bisley from Spaced...

"Skip to the end!"

I say that because there is still something important at the end that everyone on here should be willing to do irrespective of personal belief.

Anyway, for our sermon we were asked to preach on Luke 7:36-8:3 and here was what I felt led to share:

When you read the story of the sinful woman anointing Jesus, you feel there are certain parallels with the tale of Cinderella.

There you have a woman who is frowned upon by those around her, who nevertheless seeks out the hero because she wants to be with him. At the end of the Bible story and the fairy tale, both women are exalted despite their position in society... on account of what their love means to the Prince or Jesus.

They are both rags to riches stories.

Or perhaps it’s a bit like Saturday night’s programme of Britain’s got talent. I don’t know if you saw it… but there was a woman who was an immigrant worker from the Philippines who sang the song “I will always Love You”. Most people there were singing just to get a glimpse of glory… a shot at fame… but she was also singing for other immigrants and her children who she was separated from. When it came time for her to sing, she moved the entire audience to tears. I wonder how many people watched that show and thought badly of her because she was an immigrant … and yet failed to appreciate that she was singing her heart out so beautifully?

In the passage we read that Simon the Pharisee was... well, a bit of a lousy host. He was glad to have Jesus round for what Adrian Plass might call “a salvation sandwich, or a cup of sanctity”. To him Jesus was a guest, here today, gone tomorrow. All of a sudden a woman who Simon and his socialites – the “It Crowd” of the day considered sinful… bursts into the room and overcome with emotion, starts showing Jesus more hospitality than Simon had done. To this unnamed woman, Jesus was so much more than just a guest. She poured out the entire contents of her heart before him. She had seen Jesus for who he was; desperate to be touched by God... she desperately clung onto him. Max Lucado in concluding his book, Just Like Jesus; makes the observation that we can be seekers of salvation... or seekers of the Saviour.

Simon wanted a pat on the head and a photo opportunity. The woman wanted to know God’s forgiveness and love in her life.

When Simon becomes upset that someone who he considers dirty is showing him up; Jesus makes a comparison between two people who both had their debts cleared. One person didn’t consider his debt that big… and said a quick thank you before clearing off. The other realised just how much trouble they had been in and how emotionally indebted they were to the person who had cleared their debt. They didn’t deserve to be let off such a fee… and yet they walked off scot free. They weren’t going to forget that in a hurry.

I don’t know about you, but when I am deeply grateful to someone for an act of kindness and can’t pay them back for it, it changes my attitude towards them. If I can’t pay them back directly… then I seek ways to live my life in a way that doesn’t make them regret their choice to help me.

In the film Saving Private Ryan, Matt Damon’s character is the recipient of an act of kindness he can’t repay, after his colleagues lay down their lives for him in order for him to be able to live out his. The only way he can thank them… is by living a good life.

Jesus not only saved us from a debt we could not pay; he also came to give us... give all of us who choose to follow him purpose. He takes what is broken and makes it new... and if we love him and are truly grateful, we’d be willing to let him use us.

I’m not clever enough. I’m not strong enough. I’m too sinful. I don’t have enough faith. I don’t have the time. These are all things we can be guilty of saying when God knocks on our door with an opportunity. I know I often am.

However, just look at a list of some of the lowly or shady backgrounds you find among Jesus’ followers in the New Testament. The first gospel is written by a man who once was an extortionist, the inner circle of apostles were fishermen; one of the 12 was once a terrorist. Some followers of Christ were once outcasts because of demon possession, illness or lifestyle. We don’t know for certain, but the woman who broke into Simon’s house may have been a prostitute... whatever her lifestyle was, it was clear that her own people wanted nothing to do with her.
Jesus made it clear that God wanted everything to do with her.

The spotlight is very much thrown on women in this passage. This is surprising because at the time of Jesus, society didn’t consider the contribution of women worth mentioning. Our society has moved on from that… but there are still many kinds of people we can be prejudiced against… even against ourselves sometimes.

Look where God started with those people. They went from the bottom of the barrel, to the icing on the cake.

They went from the rags of brokenness, to the riches of God’s kingdom being poured out into their daily lives.

It can be the same for every one of us today.

Last week I took part in a First Aid training course for work. I was absolutely terrified before the assessment, because I was frightened that I wouldn’t be good enough.

I was missing the point.

The assessors weren’t looking for Charlie Fairhead, Doctor Kildare or some other medical genius. They were looking for someone who was willing to use the basic skills they had learned; willing to do their best in a situation to keep people going until more help arrived. They weren’t looking for a person who was trained to perfection. They were looking for someone to be a willing servant.
Similarly it’s easy for us to fall into the trap that God only calls the obvious people to serve him.
All God needs from us is our willingness to be a part of his plan. Everything else we need on our journey... he will give us.

I heard a story once about a Prince of India who was wealthy, powerful and commanded the fear and respect of all his people:

One day the prince decided to take a walk among those people. As he made his way through the crowds of excited socialites, another person caught his eye.

There before him was a stinking shabby looking beggar, who was standing amongst the other people with nothing but a bowl of rice in his possession.

The prince approached the man but instead of giving him anything, he asked the poor man for some of his rice.

The beggar was bemused and hurt.

How could this man who had enough gold to buy entire fields of rice many times over, have the cheek to ask him for food? Surely it should be the other way round.

However, the beggar was afraid of the prince and dared not refuse him. He held out his hand and placed three meagre grains of rice from his bowl... into the hands of the prince. The prince thanked the man and moved on.

Overwhelmed by the unfairness of the world, the beggar broke down in tears. But as the tears rolled down his face and plopped gently into his rice, he noticed something glimmering back at him. There, sat in the middle of his rice were three nuggets of pure gold.

Suddenly it dawned upon the beggar that the amount of gold was equal to the amount of rice he had given the prince. Though he was now wealthy enough to buy food for himself for a good while... as he stood looking at the prince far away out of reach in the distance, he was left wondering what could have been... if only he’d had the faith to give the prince all of his rice.

It doesn’t matter where we have come from, or what we have done. God wants us to pour our hearts out before him. He wants to transform us.

At the bottom of this blog entry, you'll find a link. If you’ve felt challenged by anything that has been said, I’d like you to click on that link and play the game for a few minutes. It's all good as by playing, you'll be helping people in countries who have little access to food.

While you are doing that, I'd like you to also consider taking the opportunity to give something to God. Whatever that might be, I leave up to you. It could be something exciting that you are experiencing. It could be something you are struggling with. Or find hard to talk about with others. You might want to use it as an act of recommitment or repentance. When you have a quiet moment to yourself, think of the story of the beggar and the prince...and think of the contents of your heart... and what you might want to give God out of your own personal "bowl". Then ask God to take it, and trust him to give you out of the goodness of his grace.

Regardless of what you choose to do about praying, here's the link to the food programme:

FREE RICE

Debtwatch 7: Tetelestai!

Yes, I know... a bit of a random subtitle.

I wanted to put something similar to the last post's title... but I didn't want to confuse two completely separate issues.

Fortunately in my bible notes the other day, I came across the word the Greeks use to describe that same phrase Jesus spoke... Tetelestai.

In ancient times this phrase was used to declare that an account had been paid in full. It was customary after a debt had been paid, for the debtor to present their bill to the creditor who would then write across it "Tetelestai."

Paid in full.

Apparently the tense used in the Gospel would render it something like "it has been and will for ever remain finished."

So in a small way, my worldly debts have now joined my eternal debts in being forever paid off by Christ.

Its been an interesting and surprisingly brief journey. I have worked hard and by God's grace alone have been faithful in seeing this through. To think that it all started with the destruction of a Vauxhall Astra back in July... when up until that point I had been dragging my feet and staring at the ground in a spirit of defeatism, astounds me.

I don't just consider the financial aspect of this debt removed... everything that caused me to be in that position in the first place is gone... forever. Anything I do now does not carry with it the millstone of consequence.

It is a new dawn, a new day... maybe even a new age.

The past is nothing more than prologue and no longer casts shadows on my path. I walk free. Once more I have freedom of choice. What I do with that choice is now an open book. Having made stupid mistakes in the past, I don't intend to walk again down the path of self destruction again. In a sense this should also be our attitude to God's saving grace. Having known the damage our sin caused us... and having known the price Christ paid for it... we should not casually stroll down the path of our mistakes ever again. We may stray onto the path from time to time... but if our faith means anything at all... we shouldn't deliberately mistreat Christ's total repayment of our crippling and destructive eternal debt.

Balance left on debt: £0.00
Cash in short term savings reserves: £100.00
Cash left in current account that I hope to spare for debt repayment: N/A
Estimated balance for next Debtwatch report: N/A
Original Finish Date for completion of Payments - October 2007
Estimated Completion of Payments - "TETELESTAI!"

I just want to conclude these meditations on my finances by reaffirming my absolute conviction that, just as God helped me to clear my physical debt; he also has the ability to wipe out the debt of your sin... forever... permanently.

In fact he has already done it, by paying for it all in full on the cross. All you need to do is accept and believe it.... and a new day, a new life shall begin.

Are you ready to do that?

Debtwatch 6 - The Last Lap approaches

I had a bit of a panic attack on Friday... it was payday but the BACS (Bankers Automated Clearance Services) payroll system was working very slowly... nationwide. 300,000 people had their pay withheld due to the lag; I was one such person... so was everybody else in my office for that matter.

Nevertheless when I checked my bank account today, I had indeed been paid... and all my transfers were in place. The exciting thing is that in less than one month, I will be debt-free. Five years ago, when I was still stuck in the relationship that had taken me along this path... I don't think I could have imagined that it would take me under a year to shake off all my liabilities.

I've worked hard... and God has been kind. My dad was talking to me about it tonight and I get the impression he's really proud of how I've done this... of the sacrifices I have made along the way. I can see the finish line of this journey it is not far away at all. I'm probably going to treat myself in a month or so, as a pat on the back for finishing one hard journey... before beginning the next one. No longer the road back, this time it is the road forward... a much more daunting prospect.

So this by the grace of God, is how the books are balanced at present:

Balance left on debt: £287.03
Cash in short term savings reserves: £0
Cash left in current account that I hope to spare for debt repayment £0
Estimated balance for next Debtwatch report: £0.00
Original Finish Date for completion of Payments - October 2007
Estimated Completion of Payments - MAYDAY!

Now don't all those 0's look really nice?

Debtwatch 5

I've got a little spare time on my hands at the moment, as I have got a couple of days off work (which I had totally forgotten about until someone reminded me late on Tuesday). I've just returned from a visit to the bank with the latest exciting news on my continuing voyage of financial redemption.

Apart from the money I usually set aside for saving against debt, I managed to hold back an extra £200 in reserve. It was therefore a great relief to punch a few buttons onto the account management machine and see my repayment figure finally come down below the £1,000 threshold for the first time. It currently reads £998.03 but that's not the end of this month's calculations... because the normal direct debit has yet to take effect.

If I managed to hold back some money on top of my current account this month, I believe I could do it again next month... but I don't know if I need bother. In any case, it won't affect my repayment date as I fully intend to transfer £100 direct from savings rather than wait another month... and this will already take me into the intended completion timescale of Mayday.

So this by the grace of God, is how I currently stand:

Balance left on debt: £688.03
Cash in short term savings reserves: £0
Cash left in current account that I hope to spare for debt repayment £0
Estimated balance for next Debtwatch report: £278.00
Original Finish Date for completion of Payments - October 2007
Estimated Completion of Payments - MAYDAY!

Debtwatch 4

I can't believe that I have just passed a quarter of the way towards the original timescale for paying off my debts... and yet I am over halfway towards paying them off.

I only managed to hold onto £100 from my last payday, which was disappointing. I'm hoping I can keep my belt tight and breathe in this month and keep at least £200 back. I have £200 in savings and I will have made my usual target of £300 next month. As I said last month though, my intention is to put down £500-£600 down as it will seriously bring me a lot closer to home.

All the same it is encouraging to know that by the beginning of March I will be down to a three figure sum (heck if I really wanted to go crazy I could fast for a month and put all my wages in to cross the finish line... that is how close I am).

It is very exciting to think that come May I could be building for my future.

God has been very good to me indeed.

Balance left on debt: £1480.79
Cash in short term savings reserves: £200
Cash left in current account that I hope to spare for debt repayment £200.00
Estimated balance for next Debtwatch report: £700
Original Finish Date for completion of Payments - October 2007
New Estimated Completion of Payments - MAYDAY!

Debtwatch 3

It's occurred to me that with all the shenanigans over my change of blog... I've neglected to give an update on my current financial position.

Well despite the expenses that came with the Christmas, I managed to hold my own... just. I went slightly over my Christmas budget, but not in a bad way. I've once again put across £100 in my savings, in readiness for another big hit into my repayments.

I'm actually finding the nearer I get to being out of the woods, the harder it is to hold my course. Using some of my birthday/Christmas money, I bought myself a new suit in the January sales To be honest I did need one, my other two are looking their age and I have my dad's civic service coming up, as well as a wedding (no, not mine). I surprised myself by resisting the urge to buy an Ipod or Creative Zen and I actually managed to get interest CREDITED to my account instead of debited... OK so it was only 1p but it's a start.

It seriously looks like I'm not going to spend out, which is encouraging. I'm thinking of waiting till March and putting another £500/600 on the table. If I do this, I could seriously reduce my repayment schedule. It would have me debt free by the beginning of May.

I have also noticed that since I dealt my last unscheduled blow, the interest accumulation has halved.

I can see the faint outline of a financially debt free coastline on the horizon.

Hallelujah.

Thanks and praises to God above who made all these things by changing my situation, my fortunes and most importantly... my heart.

Balance left on debt: £1768.44
Cash in short term savings reserves: £100
Cash remaining in current account that I can probably spare for debt repayment £150.00

Debtwatch 2

Walked into the bank.

The outstanding loan figure this morning stood at £2862.50 (after interest). I walked into the bank and pulled out a sawn off shot... ahem I walked into the bank and transferred £300 from savings and £200 from a work bonus I received and transferred it to the flexiloan. At close of play tonight, £310 will transfer as normal onto the loan and despite interest going on, the simple fact remains that I have by the grace of God practically clobbered two months off my final repayment time.... HUZZAH!!!!!

According to my calculations, this will bring me towards a completion date of 1st August.

This month is a real acid test though. I have drained my resources down as far as I dare. Christmas is coming and I have friends and family to take care of...

...oh yes and one rogue tooth that requires a filling on Tuesday.... fun fun fun! Still at least I'll get half a day off work. Oh and may I say a special thank you to my father who decided to watch a spy thriller where some thugs did a DIY dentistry session on some poor bloke using nothing more sophisticated than a Black & Decker power drill!!!!!!!

I have three weeks left before I break up for the New Year, a new year full of hope and promise already.

I estimate that if I have the will to, over the next six months I can push to bring that clearance date forward by two more months. However, realistically I need to make sure I have enough money to pay my way at Scripture Union camp next year. I think I might save up for one more definite advance payment and then see how I fare over the remaining course.

Anyway, just signing off my second report as to how God is continuing to bless me in my attempts to get back on financial level terms.

Again I want to encourage and remind you that whatever millstone is hanging round your neck... emotional, financial, sinful, physical, mental... it is not too heavy for God to take off of you if you let him.

On a much lighter note, here is a pic of the present I've got Benji.... I can't stop pressing the eye laser button. The battery will be flat by Christmas at this rate.

Loan balance as at 1st December 2006: £2052.50

Debtwatch 1

As promised here is my first update on the continuing saga of my financial redemption. I'd like to restate my deeply held belief that it is by God's grace and empowerment that I am making progress... not my own financial acumen (which is woefully poor).

I'm going to hold a few bits of information back, as strictly speaking they relate to next month. As it stands though the first amount of interest has been added, and the first repayment has been made. I see this month as an acid test, because I still have an outstanding insurance payment to make on my car, a visit to the dentist and a haircut to take into account... so it is likely to be the month with the most expenditure.

Things to take into account during November are likely to include my birthday (hooray!), a work bonus and of course the looming shadow of Santa Claus's sack as we approach Christmas.

So without further ado:

Balance Prior to first repayment: £3,137.91
Current balance on loan: £2,827.91
Current finances in reserve: £200.00

Pushing Back

I've taken another big step to stabilising my finances.

I'd been putting it off for about a week or so... I was afraid of handing that much money over, but I knew it had to be done. I'm now in the situation of having 2 old debts cleared, with just £200 to go on one more... and then my friends, then we can look at finishing off my old car loan.

I've had a couple of minor setbacks - the insurance payout on my car was significantly less than I hoped and insured the car for (they also still demand I pay my monthly installments despite no longer having the car - immoral), and my breakdown cover took a fair bit of money when I severed my transactions with them. Minor setbacks, but they are just the one step back to my two steps forward. I am finally pushing back the boundaries that penned me in for so long.

It just goes to show that dodgy ex girlfriends are very expensive things (note to self - don't go so high maintenance next time, you need looking after too!) and it's been an expensive lesson. I paid the emotional price some time ago... if I hadn't learned those lessons, I don't believe the economic burdens would be lifting now.

I've spoken to the bank and they say that I can switch to a flexi-loan that would enable me to pay off in less than a year.

Awesome!

The emphasis is shifting from the mistakes of the past, to the hopes of the future... which bare founded in God.

I just want to encourage people who think they are in some kind of pit or quagmire at the moment... be that one caused my financial conditions, sin, heartache, depression, sickness... it doesn't always end in tears. I have carried my burdens for over a decade... there were times when it seemed very dark indeed. I couldn't see a way out of a relationship that was draining the life out of me... but God himself paved the way for me to leave.

I felt forlorn because I couldn't see a way to ever get on level terms financially because of my past mistakes. God changed my attitude and circumstances... and here I am coming to the edge of the storm front... the darkness before the dawn. Yes it's been rough, but finally the light at the end of the tunnel is clearly in sight. I feel like I've been at sea for many years and at last the familiar shorelines of home are in view.

It can be done... not just for me... you can be free too You can be restored. God may take his time but he is always faithful.

"I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten—
the great locust and the young locust,
the other locusts and the locust swarm —
my great army that I sent among you.

You will have plenty to eat, until you are full,
and you will praise the name of the LORD your God,
who has worked wonders for you;
never again will my people be shamed." Joel 2:25-26

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13

If the Son sets you free, you shall be free indeed!

Tide & Time

I'm a blessed man.

After three weeks without a car I find myself in the midst of many changes, mostly for the better.

I got back from Scripture Union Camp nearly a fortnight ago and found that I had received an unexpected bonus from work. I also found out that the insurance payout on my car (if I can't bump it up by arguing that the salvage value is higher), is not as much as I may have hoped for.

I believe completely and utterly that the Lord is at work in this entire situation.... right from the car crash onwards. While I was waiting at the scene, not once did I go into shock, however I did feel greatly at peace and I sensed the presence of God around me. I don't feel a great sense of loss. OK so I'm a bit miffed that I don't have as much freedom to get about, but really it's just plastic and metal and when God feels the time is right for me to get a new one He will provide opportunity.

I feel that God doesn't want me to get a car but to instead focus on paying off some old debts that need settling. As soon as I got back from Camp I had the bank calling me to try and persuade me to pay back a sizable chunk of my debts in a shorter space of time at a reduced rate. This was excellent news! Yet at the same time I saw an instant opportunity to reduce that figure further by paying for one of the debts straight off. Bang. Gone. No more.... finito!

When I do finally get the insurance payout on my car, I am going to probably get a bike to get around town... and invest the rest in killing off the other non fixed term debt. Bang... that'll be two gone and we're not even into Autumn at this stage!

Finally we'll have the fixed term loan (ironically on the car that just got trashed), but that's only got 19 payments left and I'm sure I can start to pool resources into getting that paid off sooner... even if I incur a penalty.

The financial burdens and chains I have borne for so long are finally loosening. The last remnants of my past relationship mistakes are fading fast.

None of this would have happened had I heeded God in 1998. Trashed my first car then and nearly split up with my girlfriend of the time. I let myself get talked back into going out with her and instead of paying off a computer financial agreement I bought myself a new hunk of junk so that i could continue to see her. I don't need to go on about why the relationship was bad... I've blogged enough in the past about that. However suffice it to say that twice more I had severe problems with my cars... my second car just died of old age. Again out of devotion to my girlfriend I took a loan for a more reliable car. Despite this, the cam belt eventually went on that car and I crazily extended that loan to make sure I was on the road... all for a girl who did not deserve the attention she was getting and who certainly was unworthy of the level of importance/devotion I was showing her. I would never dream of doing that now... I would never have considered it prior to going out with that girl. I had a bad dream... I was bewitched like the black knight in C.S. Lewis' The Silver Chair. God snapped me out of that and has blessed me in so many ways since.

I now feel that he is preparing me for the future. he is enabling me to settle my scores.... I believe because the promises are coming. I have to be ready for them. Goodness knows I don't deserve them... but God is gracious and if he is willing to give abundantly out of his love.... how can I do any less then be in the place and circumstance he needs me to be in to receive them?

Blessings to you all

N