Sometimes We Sting... Sometimes We Save

In the past on this blog I have referred to a couple of images/anecdotes that look at the different behavioural attitudes we adopt in our relationships with people. What has been on my heart for a little while and what I thought I'd do in this post, is combine all three... and look at them together.

The first is a joke; an amusing anecdote that we are supposed to use to look at life when it gives us one of its occasional knees to the groin. The saying goes like this:

"Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days you are the statue".

I know its a joke... but I have never felt comfortable with it. What it says to me is that when life drops a bucket load of guano on your head... its okay, because some day you'll be the one depositing the guano on somebody else.

The second is the infamous story (once referenced in Star Trek: Voyager), of a scorpion who wanted to cross a swollen river.  Aware of his shortcomings and knowing that any attempt at swimming would result in certain death, the scorpion attempts to coerce a nearby fox. The fox being cunning and wise points out that its a stupid thing to do because the scorpion will sting him and kill him. The scorpion reasons with him and points out that if he does sting the fox, they will BOTH drown in the river and die... so it isn't in his interests to betray his unlikely ally. The fox can't fault the scorpions logic and allows the arachnid to hop on his back. The couple begin their crossing and all is going well. However, when the fox reaches the deepest part of the river... the scorpion rears up his sting and plunges it into the neck of the fox.  As the neurotoxin begins to take effect and the creatures begin to sink below the waterline, the fox gives one last look over his shoulder, stares forlornly at the scorpion and asks "Why? Why did you do this? Now we'll both die!"

The scorpion answers "I'm sorry... I couldn't help it. It's just my nature."

That story is a constant reminder to me that we all carry an element of the fallen nature inside of us... that even when our intentions are good and honourable, some times we fall prey to the remnants of the sinful nature that lurk deep inside waiting for moments to strike... just like a scorpion's sting.

The last anecdote also contains an equally aquatically challenged scorpion who is in dire peril. This scorpion keeps slipping off a riverbank and falling into a river to his doom. Fortunately for him, two monks are washing bowls in the river nearby. One of the monks spots the scorpion and rescues him. In return for the monk's kindness, the scorpion... yep you guessed it... stings him before scuttling off. However, the scorpion is soon in trouble again and falls straight back into the water. The monk wastes no time in rescuing the scorpion again... and again. Each time he does so, he receives a sting for his trouble. This goes on until the monk's companion asks him "Why do you keep doing that? Don't you know that scorpion will just keep stinging you?  That's its nature!"

"Ah..." replies the other monk "... but it is my nature to save."

Looking at those stories together tells us something quite profound about life. There are going to be times in all our lives when we mess up and hurt the ones around us - the ones who we care about... and who care about us. We can't help it... its in our nature (albeit a nature we need to resist). However if we strive with all our heart to adopt Christ's nature... the one that His Spirit calls us to, we can bear with one another's brokenness and faults with mercy and compassion... encouraging those around us to do likewise by the righteous examples God works through us.

Sometimes we sting, sometimes we save... how we feel about those two facts reveals a lot about our character and our relationships with one another and God. What it is NEVER okay to do is to be the pigeon.  Everyone knows what it feels like to be the statue... everybody knows how bad it feels when someone bombs your life with emotional excrement. We all know what it feels like to be stung... so can we really afford to take a blasé attitude with others, every time we feel an irresistible urge to unfairly offload our rubbish attitudes on those around us?

We can't.

Sometimes we sting.  When this happens (as it does), we need to recognise we are doing it, what is driving it and ask forgiveness in all sincerity for it.

Sometimes we save.  We need to be watchful for those around us who are openly hurting. We need to go the distance and do what we can to help them out, even if it is just praying for them. They may sting you for your trouble, but never forget their value... or the fact that someday you may need a friend to save you in spite of your own stinging.

Moving Swiftly On

As you may have gathered, yesterday was pretty intense and my post was verging on primal.

Since that time, I've had opportunity to reflect on the things that have hurt me and think I have found a way of coming to terms with the things that irritate me and as a result, I'm more philosophical about going forwards.

I was sitting in my car and praying about my feelings, my attitude and the events and actions that led up to them. I suddenly became aware that there is a lesson to be learned here... I've learned it before in another area of my life.

It's the lesson of letting go.

In surgery there comes a time when those operating have to agree that the battle is lost and continuing is a waste of resources. Similarly, while saving the past is a noble pursuit... it must not be done at the expense of the present or future. God knows I have a stubborn streak running right through me. Is it just stubbornness though... or is it actually arrogance? When everyone else walks away, I remain... because some part of me thinks I can hold the centre.

But is it actually my place to hold the centre?

No it isn't. This is riding a dead horse. If I keep devoting my energies to people who have disappeared over the horizon, I'm not going to be able to be there for the people who are to come... and I'm going to burn myself out.

I learned this many years ago in respect of relationships... and now I realise it's equally applicable here.

Let the dead bury the dead.

That's not to say I will slam the door on people who have come and gone... it just means I have no need of their approval... and I'm not being held back any more.

You see it's occurred to me, this is just another step on the road I'm travelling... a necessary one. When I go to Israel next year, who knows what I'm going to discover? One thing I do know though... if I go out there still looking back, I'm going to miss the moments.

In fact, that is just as true now... isn't it?

So onwards I travel... and no longer shall I let my gaze linger on the road behind me.

Now is it just synchronicity that "The Times They Are A-Changin" is playing on my Last.fm radio.

Doldrums

I've had a pretty uncomfortable couple of days.

Forgive me for what is going to be a little history lesson but thinking back, I believe it all started while I was meeting a couple of friends, who during the course of conversation were putting forward the idea of a reunion of sorts. This reminded me of a time when I was let down bitterly by many good friends. We used to meet and have a reunion once a year in the pub... but this started to become impractical and I organised a meet up at my own home. Despite people's promises and the effort I put in, almost no-one showed up... most painfully of all, it was some of the people who I am (maybe I should say was) closest to, who let me down... and I haven't forgotten.

You know it is remarkable how self-absorbed people can be... it really is and it is getting to be ridiculous. People always come to me with problems they want to share, or prayer requests... and yet on the rare occasions I go to them with even the slightest concern, they start rubbing their chin like a dodgy plumber and coming over all "tricky, could be tricky... not sure I can fit it in really".

The truth is that people when they get their slice of pie on this Earth, can be very neglectful of the friends they leave behind. Yes I know people have other commitments... but to completely shut out those people who have helped contribute to who you are today? Disgusting. I mean take for example when people return to town after a long time away... do they ever bother to ring or text for a night out? No.

They have forgotten.

I think what really hurts though, is to see people enjoying the things you can only dream of... and then on the odd occasion when they stuff things up or need help, they come to the one person whose plate is practically empty to ask for bread.

It's been rough... I had a bad Monday at work, and I'm being faced with an overload of people celebrating their own blessings... whilst I'm feeling somewhat of an outcast/exile. I think this is all being exacerbated by a change in the seasons... and I'm sure these feelings will pass. However even if they do.... will the reasons for them also disappear?

Unrequited love is a terrible thing... but how much worse is unrequited friendship?

Where are you?

In my last post, whilst reviewing Lady in the Water, I spoke of what I considered to be the saddest question in the Bible:

"Where are you"?

It comes from Genesis 3, picture the scene if you will:

Mankind has just fallen... but doesn't know it yet. Adam and Eve have gained the knowledge of good and evil... but have done so at a terrible price - they have severed the relationship between themselves and God through disobedience. God enters the Garden and calls out to his beloved friend - his precious ones... and they are nowhere to be found. Eventually he finds them cowering in a hedge and they are cast out of Eden.

Now God is omniscient and he knows exactly where Adam and Eve are hiding (I bet he isn't much fun at hide and seek, Ackey 123, or sardines), therefore the question is not a geographical one.

So why does he ask it?

I believe he asked it because he was challenging Adam and Eve to be honest about what they had done. However, I believe the question carries a deeper significance and meaning that resonates down through the ages even to us today. Lean in real close and you might here a whisper in the wind or a murmur in the darkness...

"Where are you?"

God still calls out to every one of us... desiring to know where we are.

So... where are you?

Maybe you came here on a random Google search looking for an answer to some other question... and if so, I hope you found it... but I hold a deeper hope that whilst here you take/took the time to try and answer to where you were?

Are you hiding in the brambles? (ouch!)

You may believe that your life is wonderful and you have no need for God... and if that is you, then good luck to you - though I do hope you will reconsider that position.

However, you may believe that your life is a mess... that you have little to offer people or God and that the walls are closing in on your life... and all hope is lost. If that is you, I'd like you to consider inviting Jesus into your life. On the other hand you might actually be a Christian but find yourself stricken by adversity, struggles or the storms of life around you. If either of those are you... I want to reassure you of God's love for you through a few passages. Jesus applied these words to himself with regards to his mission:

"The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favour."

Luke 4:18-19

Jesus' mission... is YOU.

"Then Jesus told them this parable: "Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn't he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbours together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.' I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent."

Luke 15:3-7

"For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost."

Luke 19:10

I put it to you therefore, that Jesus Christ... is God's response to his own question. Not content with asking where we are spiritually... he sent his Son to find us and save us... even at the cost of his life. What then, shall we do in response to this?

Finally I want leave you with a song that has touched my heart recently. I do not believe it is a "Christian" song... but it certainly speaks to me of God's love and I hope that it speaks something to you of the insurmountable love God has for every one of us... especially you:

"Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with them, and they with me."

Revelation 3:20

Happy New Year

Happy New Year folks... I realise I'm a little late, but I've been away from my keyboard celebrating and procrastinating in equal measures.

I was thinking yesterday about a friend who I gave a scripture to, towards the end of last year. They had been convicted about something in their life that God was calling them away from and hadn't been taking it seriously (I myself had a similar experience just prior to that, which is why I felt burdened to share the scripture).

The passage was from Haggai. God sends his prophet to the people of Jerusalem and urges them to rebuild the temple; however, he also warns them to "give careful thought" about doing it. You see, this wasn't the first time the people had begun to rebuild the temple; they had attempted it previously but had abandoned their efforts at the first sign of adversity and had divided up the resources they were going to use for God's house and decorated their own homes instead.

The reason I've felt compelled to write about it now, is that recently I've felt that I've been placed in a couple of situations where I know exactly how God was feeling there... and it's not comfortable at all.

Of course, my thoughts and personal feelings pale in significance compared to God's. We really do take God for granted. We receive in good faith all the things he gives us by his grace... and we think very little about the cost - both costs. What I mean by that, is that we glaze over what God did for us in the past to bring us into a relationship with him; all too easily. At the same time, we show very little regard for what he might be calling us to do in response to the fact that he blesses us so abundantly. We are so one sided and we don't think for a moment about how our attitude affects God's heart.

I'm starting to understand that this is what lies at the core of what the Bible calls being lukewarm:

"I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. You say, 'I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see. Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me."

Revelation 3:15-20

You know... God is SO gracious and he gives us so many more chances than we deserve... and I'm not just talking about the unsaved, I'm completely including Christians in that. We are reluctant labourers. We think only of ourselves. We are wretched. God's love is too often unrequited and we really do need to change our hearts with regard to that.

Maybe at New Year, you made a resolution... or somewhere deep in your heart you know he is challenging you with regard to something. I urge you not to ignore it or treat it casually, instead take it seriously and don't be half hearted about it... it's not fair to treat people that way and it is certainly not right to treat God in that manner, when he has given us infinitely more than any human.

I feel like Jude, I wanted to write something light about this being the start of a new year full of hope,potential and how wonderful God is. Make no mistake God is wonderful... this is a new year... but I felt God was asking me to write this more somber message in conjunction with the way I have been feeling.

I do pray you have a blessed year... in addition to the blessings God has already richly lavished upon us all.

Happy 2008!