Tis But a Scratch!

Those of you who have watched the film "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" will doubtless remember the infamous scene where Arthur does battle with the Black Knight who blocks the road ahead.

The battle goes badly for the Black Knight.... he loses an arm, followed by his other arm, then both his legs. Hilariously though he repeatedly insists that the damage is not severe... "Tis but a scratch!" and "It's only a flesh wound!" are among his battle cries.

We laugh because the situation is ridiculous, the scene uses hyperbole to parody the Hollywood image of the macho man - the hero who shakes of his injuries to save the day. Obviouisly, Python's Black Knight should know when he is beaten and stop fighting... it is only a stretch of road he's fighting for, after all.

On a deeper and more subtle level, are we seriously any different though?

I think not.

I know of a person who was severely damaged emotionally through the break-up of their marriage. I knew through conversations we had; that there were still issues going on inside that person's heart... but they kept jumping from relationship to relationship - constantly on the rebound. They "knew" in each case that the person they were with, was "the one". I know this because I was very nearly one of "the one's" myself... but fortunately it did not work out. Now I hear that the girl is planning on getting married again; I wish her well but I do not think she is embarking on a wise course of action. She is putting what she wants in front of her ability to handle it. She is rushing into a path that could damage her further... because she is chasing a dream without properly dealing with the damage that has been done to her in the past.

I've recently come to the conclusion that some of the psychological issues attached to my physical scars need healing (February 3rd - Scar Tissue). I think my own approach to people in the past has been seriously affected by my damaged nature... but I know God desires to heal this. I also wait for the day when a woman comes along whom I can love and who can love me... but I believe the right person will not be able to find me (nor I them) until God disentangles me from the jungle I have managed to wrap myself up in over the years.

Why should you or I have to wait, why does God seemingly string us out? If he's made a promise he could snap his fingers and allow you to have it immediately.

Oh I have no doubt he could give you and I everything good that we desired - right here, right now... but would we be ready for it?

Recently two scriptures have been on my heart and I felt burdened to share them with you:

"From the least to the greatest, all are greedy for gain; prophets and priests alike, all practice deceit. They dress the wound of my people as though it were not serious. 'Peace, peace,' they say, when there is no peace." Jeremiah 6:13,14

and:

"No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment, for the patch will pull away from the garment, making the tear worse. Neither do men pour new wine into old wineskins. If they do, the skins will burst, the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined. No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved." Matthew 9:16,17

Are we being honest with ourselves? Are we really ready for the things God has promised?

If we desire a relationship... are we really ready to commit ourselves, or do we know in our hearts that we need God to fix something wrong in us first?

If we desire revival... are we really ready to receive the multitudes of convicted people whom God will send, or do we know deep down that we need to humble ourselves and strengthen our relationship with God... that we may be of use to him when the time is right.

These are just two examples of what I mean.

I rushed into trying to enter a relationship a couple of years ago... it went pear shaped. God showed me through scriptures in Chronicles that in effect, I had mirrored King David's mistake with the Ark of the Covenant. I had put the desire and the promise of good things before properly being able to carry out a righteous approach to achieving them. God was merciful to David and showed him how to do it. God is also merciful to us and he will show us what we need to know if we only bothered to ask him.

For what does he say to us? A very famous passage from Matthew tells us:

"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

May the Lord bless you and enable you to walk the road before you. May your innermost desires - founded in the Father's will, the Son's intercession and the Holy Spirit's conviction, all be fulfilled in God's power and God's time. In Jesus name, Amen.


Nick

The Cost of Correction

Many years ago Arun Gandhi (grandson of the political and spiritual leader Mahatma Gandhi), moved back to South Africa with his father to continue the struggle against apartheid. One day Arun was asked by his elderly father to drive him to a meeting in Johannesburg, then drop off the car at a garage for it's service before picking him up from the meeting at 5pm.

Now Arun realised it would take some time to wait for the car, so he decided to bide the time by going to watch a film at the nearest cinema... which just happened to be showing a double feature that day. He emerged from the cinema and checked his watch. Horrified, he realised that it was already past 5 o'clock. He rushed to the place where his father was waiting, on the corner in the pouring rain... rapidly thinking of plausable excuses for his lateness. Then he said "Father, you must forgive me. It is taking them longer to repair the automobile than I thought it would take, but if you wait here I will go and get the car. It should be ready by now."

His father silently bowed his head and looked downward, then after what seemed like a long time he finally said "When you were not here at our meeting time I called the garage to see why you were late. They told me that the automobile was ready at 3 o'clock! Now I have to give some thought as to how I have failed, so as to have a son who would lie to his own father. I will have to think about this. So I am going to walk home and use the time during my walk to meditate on this question."

Arun could not bring himself to just drive off without his father. Instead, he followed the elderly man home watching him stagger along the muddy road as the rain fell down upon him. Arun continually flashed the car headlights to try and gain his father's attention... but it was to no avail. His father relentlessly stumbled all the way on the long journey towards home. Overcome with remorse for his actions, Arun repeatedly beat the steering wheel and said over and over to himself "I will never lie again! I will never lie again!"

It is a true story - Arun himself recounted it to Tony Campolo when the two of them met.

It is also true that this is exactly how God corrects us. God has a plan for us right from the very beginning in fact even before we are born. However, being selfish and broken by our sinful nature. We rebel against that plan... either by not doing what is right, or actively doing what is wrong. We are disobedient.

The Bible teaches us that the punishment of our disobedience - for being slaves to the sinful nature is death. So what does God do about this? Does he beat us with a big stick or throw lightning bolts at us?

No.

Like Arun's father, God took the punishment of our actions upon himself, by sending Jesus to suffer and die in our place. In the same way that Arun watched his father trudge home in the rain, we look upon Christ crucified... a righteous man willingly taking the punishment for the mistakes of God's children. The price is paid.

However if we look at Arun's response to his father, I believe it gives us opportunity to examine our own attitude towards God. Arun knowing what suffering his disobedience had caused his father... repented and resolved to change his attitude. Imagine you are in that car... that it is you behind the wheel and Jesus is walking down the road ahead of you carrying his cross to Calvary.

The way I see it, there are two responses. You can callously drive off home and face the consequences yourself... or you can follow Jesus... continually reminding yourself of the cost of what you have done and resolving daily not to do it again.

Arun's father did not despise him... he wanted Arun to be a good son. Likewise God does not despise you or I (even though we deserve it), he merely wishes us to be restored to be the people he called us to be. Now let me tell you another story... one that Jesus told:

To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: "Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'

"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'

"I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted." Luke 28:9-14

Maybe you think you are OK and don't need Jesus, in which case I urge you to think on why God considered the situation so grave that he sent his Son to make payment by dying for our sins. Then think what the implications of that are for you personally.

Or maybe you are a Christian and have found Jesus and have a relaxed attitude to your behaviour because you know that the blood of Jesus covers our sins. In which case I urge you to think again what those sins did to Jesus, for:

"Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."
1 Corinthians 1:19,20

Discover who you are and what you were called to be in Christ, and if you have forgotten... remember.

Jesus did not just die to destroy our sin, he was raised to enable us to rise above it. He promised us his Spirit would be with us until the end of the age. If you want to know what that's about I encourage you to pray these words:

Dear God, I come to You in the name of Jesus.

I now realize that I have a choice to make concerning my life. I believe that Jesus died and shed his blood for my sins and rose from the dead giving me the way to fellowship with You and to live eternally with You.

Knowing this I choose to renounce my past and I accept the price Jesus paid for me to be total and complete, because You said it is. I choose Jesus to be Lord of my life and to live within me, and I choose to live for You from this moment on.

I believe right now that I am indeed born again. My spirit is a brand new creation and I stand before You heavenly Father worthy not because of my actions, but because Jesus justifies me.

Thank You for loving me and accepting me into your family.

Amen

A St. Valentine's Day Card to God: The One Above All Others

Below are the words - verbatim, that I wrote down in a Valentine's Card and wedged under the Church door last night. I pray the words will not just be accepted as something from my own heart, my prayer is that others may be able to make it their prayer also:

Dear Lord

It's wonderful to have
Someone special
To be close to and love

- You're the best thing that ever happened to me.

Happy Valentine's Day.

I love you because you first loved me (1 John 4:19)
You are my shield and very great reward (Gen 15:1)

All my hopes and dreams are to be found and fulfilled in you. You are my first love and I wanted to declare that... because sometimes other things might seem more important - they are not! The things that distract me will only come by putting you first and waiting on you. You are good and your love endures forever. I praise your name:

Father - my Sovereign
Jesus - my Redeemer and King
Holy Spirit - my Comforter and Strength

"Thou and thou only the first in my heart,
High King of heaven my treasure thou art."

First Love

"We love because he first loved us." - 1 John 4:19

As people are no doubt aware, in less than a week St.Valentine's Day approaches. I was thinking about the above verse and the warning to the Church in Ephesus in Rev 2, regarding the need to retain God as our first love in the face of the things around us that can divert our attention.

I then had the idea of sneaking into a local Church on Tuesday and leaving a Valentine's card addressed to God (In true Milk Tray man fashion)... and then I got to thinking wouldn't it be good if Christians all over the place did something similar.

Some of you might regard that as corny - that's your right and prerogative. I see it as an opportunity to either demonstrate affirmation of our love for God, or a chance to say sorry for not putting God first. It is not about condemnation, it is not about pity it is about love - God's love and ours. I'm not doing this lightly, Valentine's Day in the past used to be a painful time for me and I used to react really negatively to any frivolity that came of it. I've lightened up since those days... and what to mark the day with something positive! The beauty of it is, you don't have to spend £10 on a really expensive card if you don't want to. You can make your own. The sentiment inside is what matters. It doesn't matter if you are attached or single - nobody loves you more than God - and this is an opportunity to acknowledge that.

If you are stuck, and can't get to a church but want to take part, you should be able to find an address at this website:

http://www.findachurch.co.uk/

I'm hoping to encourage more people to be like-minded. If you want to get involved, I'd be glad to hear from you. Trackback it, email it, chop my name off if you want I don't care. The more the merrier!

Can you imagine the look on your local minister's face when he next wanders into church and finds the altar completely covered in cards for God?

Scar Tissue

"You asked me if I have scars? Yessir, I have my scars."
Bill Roberts "Young Guns 2"

This is a little heavy but please bear with me:

It was a month before my second birthday and my mother and I were at my grandmother's bungalow, for a social call. Mum and gran were busy chatting over a cup of tea, whereas I was wandering around exploring and playing like toddlers do.

Suddenly there was a crashing sound and the terrible noise of a child screaming in agony. Mum had taken her eyes off of me for 1 second... a single second; but sometimes a single second is all it takes. I had managed to stray into the kitchen and tipped hot tea on myself. The ambulance was called, I was rushed to hospital and treated for liquid burns to my chest, left forearm and chin. The damage had begun to scab over, but I am told that it was not healing in a correct manner and so the medical staff removed the scabbing and dressed the burns again.

I have no physical memory of this event.

Nor do I have any memory of the countless times following my injury that a district nurse would come round and replace my dressings, while dad locked our normally placid labrador "Saber" in the kitchen in an attempt to stop him from savagely "protecting me" from the woman who always made me cry.

Before these events, I was an outgoing adventurous little boy - I walked and I talked pretty early on in my development... but all that was taken away, the day my accident happened. I had to learn all over again... but this time my nature had changed - I had become very introverted. The doctor told my mother this was not unusual - my confidence was robbed and I was a lot more fearful of consequence. All of this information about my past comes from my mum and dad.

Curiously as I grew up the scars on my chest and arm never bothered me (the one on my chin healed completely), it was only after I had gone through puberty and was at college... and really for the first time became seriously interested in girls, that I suddenly became aware of this blight on my body. Since that time I do my best to stay covered up, I don't walk round in warm weather without a t-shirt on. I take great care to make sure nobody is around when I get changed... and I never go swimming.

Those scars are not the deepest ones... look at those and you look merely at the tip of a large iceberg. Those physical injuries left much deeper, more subtle emotional and psychological injuries. I had picked up a whole load of insecurities and as I grew up, I learned various defences and protective measures that were not good for me. I learned if I played the fool I could keep people at a distance, that I could limit how near they got to me. It was incredibly succesful - I played the world for a fool and got away with it. A friend the other day best described my former attitude by using a Simon & Garfunkel song:

A winter's day

In a deep and dark December;

I am alone,

Gazing from my window to the streets below

On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.

I am a rock,

I am an island.

I've built walls,

A fortress deep and mighty,

That none may penetrate.

I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.

It's laughter and it's loving I disdain.

I am a rock,

I am an island.

Don't talk of love,

But I've heard the words before;

It's sleeping in my memory.

I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.

If I never loved I never would have cried.

I am a rock,

I am an island.

I have my books

And my poetry to protect me;

I am shielded in my armor,

Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.

I touch no one and no one touches me.

I am a rock,

I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain;

And an island never cries.

It's lies of course.

If you are a rock you feel the deepest pain - loneliness. Someone forged the famous saying that "no man is an island". That man did not know me. I kept everyone on the outside and the scary thing is that they probably never knew it. If anyone was worthwhile I guess I figured they would be able to fight their way into my little enchanted castle. That's not a fair burden to put on people... and if you do, they won't understand what game you are playing and will turn away anyway. They will see the fool on the surface but will not perceive the true person inside.

Gradually as I have walked the line of my personal faith in Christ... he has set me free from the desire to lock myself away in the darkest cuboard. Nowadays I don't live there, but when I am hurt I still run away and hide inside it. Still to this day many people from my past are poisoned by their former attitude to me - and fail to grasp who I am. I am suspicious of many people around me who have "known" me a long time, some of them don't seem to have my best interests at heart.

These things seem pretty much like curses and they need to be broken.

I genuinely want to start challenging the damage that has been done. God didn't design me to be insecure or introverted! When I was born I was a risk taker, I was an extrovert by design. Do you have any idea what it is like to be an extrovert trapped in the body of an introvert? The nearest parallel I can think of is that bit in Robocop where, the hero goes to arrest an official but a mysterious directive blocks him and starts to shut him down. That's what it is like - having some kind of reflex action preventing you from taking even the safest of gambles. I want done with it! I want to be free from the eternal debating that goes on in my mind of what every possible action, reaction and consequence will evolve from my decisions. I want to go out there and be what I'm meant to be - what I know I'm best at... being the man who is not afraid to step out of line for my own personal goals or God's greater glory.

I want to have the courage to just walk up to a girl and strike up a conversation without fear of what may come of it.

I want to step forward in confidence with the things I know... proclaim them and make them known to the people around me for God.

I want to be a little less conscienscous. Not in a bad way - I just don't want to be a doormat anymore. I don't want to run the risk of committing myself to a relationship that is bad for me just because I'm afraid of hurting the other persons feelings. I'm no good to anyone when all my time is taken over one person.

Perhaps it's a little late for New Year's Resolutions... and I'm painfullly aware of the fact I don't even know where to start; but start I must - I can't keep deferring my life. All I know is that I have to trust that God will unlock the necessary doors given time... and I must trust Him. Maybe I can start by reminding myself of some words from a favourite hymn:

Through many dangers, toils, and snares

I have already come.

'Tis Grace hath brought me safe thus far

And Grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promised good to me.

His Word my hope secures.

He will my shield and portion be

As long as life endures.

I'd trust the reliability of God's shield over my personal psychological armour any day. The big question is, do I really have the wisdom to choose it?

Do you?