Hidden Wisdom

A couple of things have got me thinking lately about the difference between our opinions and God's sovereign choice. I know I've often reflected on this subject on my blog... but just recently it's come to the forefront of my mind.

In the Old Testament, the Israelites wanted a king and God though not happy with their wishes decides to provide them with one. So he pointed Samuel in the direction of an obvious candidate - Saul, son of Kish; a man without equal. Samuel anointed Saul as king and gave him the mission of delivering his people from the Philistine invaders. Yet Saul's reign is a troubled one and eventually God rejects him.

So did God make a wrong choice? I do not believe so; I believe he was making a point about the difference between his choices and our own. As I already pointed out, Saul was the obvious choice... however, he was not a man after God's own heart. He was not God's final choice. Some time after God rejected Saul as king, he sends the prophet Samuel to a little place called Bethlehem... to anoint a new king. We pick the story up there:

"The LORD said to Samuel, "How long will you mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him as king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and be on your way; I am sending you to Jesse of Bethlehem. I have chosen one of his sons to be king."

But Samuel said, "How can I go? Saul will hear about it and kill me."

The LORD said, "Take a heifer with you and say, 'I have come to sacrifice to the LORD.' Invite Jesse to the sacrifice, and I will show you what to do. You are to anoint for me the one I indicate."

Samuel did what the LORD said. When he arrived at Bethlehem, the elders of the town trembled when they met him. They asked, "Do you come in peace?"

Samuel replied, "Yes, in peace; I have come to sacrifice to the LORD. Consecrate yourselves and come to the sacrifice with me." Then he consecrated Jesse and his sons and invited them to the sacrifice. When they arrived, Samuel saw Eliab and thought, "Surely the LORD's anointed stands here before the LORD."

But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

Then Jesse called Abinadab and had him pass in front of Samuel.

But Samuel said, "The LORD has not chosen this one either."

Jesse then had Shammah pass by, but Samuel said, "Nor has the LORD chosen this one."

Jesse had seven of his sons pass before Samuel, but Samuel said to him, "The LORD has not chosen these."

So he asked Jesse, "Are these all the sons you have?"

"There is still the youngest," Jesse answered, "but he is tending the sheep."

Samuel said, "Send for him; we will not sit down until he arrives."

So he sent and had him brought in. He was ruddy, with a fine appearance and handsome features.

Then the LORD said, "Rise and anoint him; he is the one."

So Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the presence of his brothers, and from that day on the Spirit of the LORD came upon David in power."

1 Samuel 16:1-13a

When presented with a conveyor belt of worthy candidates, the difference between man and God is made abundantly clear. Samuel is straight away tempted to make the obvious choice again... despite everything he has seen. It takes a gentle prod from God to remind Samuel that he's not looking for man's choice; he's looking for God's choice. God passes over the strongman and anoints the shepherd boy.

It should be pointed out that Samuel was a decent man. He followed God closely and yet he was still fallible. Despite his close relationship with God, he was still as hopeless as the rest of us when it comes to making the right choice. We are fallen beings and so like it or not we have a tendency to judge things with entirely the wrong set of criteria. Even though we know God and have a relationship with, we still limit our options to the obvious choice and not accepting that sometimes God has chosen the abstract.

If you read the Bible, you soon realise that it's a point that God is keen to stress at great length. Most, if not all the great Bible heroes are the unlikeliest of candidates. They wouldn't make the grade in human standards and yet God makes it abundantly clear by his divine choices that he isn't at all interested in our way of assessing people:

"Where is the wise man? Where is the scholar? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. Jews demand miraculous signs and Greeks look for wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength.

Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him. It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.""

1 Corinthians 1:5-31

Ultimately God's greatest "hits" all fly in the face of conventional wisdom and common sense.... and you and I are beneficiaries of that. It doesn't matter where we have or haven't been, or who we are. All he requires is a receptive and willing heart on our part.

You only need to respond to two things Jesus said to start this journey:

"Who do you say I am?" and "Follow me."

Just Do It!

Just before New Year, I posted a blog entitled "Grappling with God".

I think I may have left it hanging there and never told you what occurred in the week or so after that... it was a pretty intense period.

Without going into specifics, I ended up in a situation which made me increasingly restless. I felt like I was in a set up, whether it was of divine, human or evil origins I didn't care... I was tearing myself apart out of fear... because I had no say into where I was going.

I'll admit now that I became so agitated, I sat up for most of one night just praying about it. When confronted with the situation I deliberately flung up all my old defences. I tried to portray myself in as bad a way as possible. I deliberately talked about spiritual stuff and went off the deep end theologically. I tried to be as cryptic, aloof and eccentric as possible. These are my old weapons... the wrong weapons. I must confess that I am capable of quite devious manipulation. I can control pretty much most people's perception of me. I make them all think I'm a bit crazy and it produces the response my subconscious desires... it keeps people liking me, but puts them a little on edge so they don't want to get too close. It's not a good thing... for one thing, I know it is wrong to control people... and for another it is the familiar minefield of self destructiveness that I keep trying to amble back on to.

The day passed without event, but I was so on edge that I panicked about it for a few more days. I looked weary and burdened on my first day back at work... and my best mate said I had a wild edge to my nature.

The truth that I have come to realise, the blatant truth that the Genesis passage I was given, has enabled me to see, is that I have been on the banks of the Jabbok river for a long time. Like Jacob I know that you can't turn back and return to burned bridges... and like Jacob, I have been absolutely petrified of going forward into a land of promise... because all I can see is my big hairy brother coming to kill me. Or in relevant terms, all I could see was a future I cannot control, where I may be at the mercy of others... and it scared the hell out of me.

What God taught Jacob, was that you cannot run away from your fears of the future... you have to face everything before you. The more important lesson he taught Jacob, was that the things that he (Jacob) could not control, didn't matter. God is far more able and better equipped to handle our issues, our inner demons and anything that confronts us. Jacob walked into Jabbok alone, with God kept at a nice, safe comfortable distance. However, God is sovereign and isn't subject to the little boxes we like to put people in. When God finished with Jacob, they walked out together - Jacob sustained by the swift, sure hand of God... had discovered that which hos father and grandfather had known before him... that God was his shield and very great reward.

The man walked in as Jacob and walked out as Israel.

I have made a resolution to stop playing chess and enjoy life for what it is. Life IS to short for chess... if you spend your moments guessing and second guessing every possible pathway in your future, like some warped Grandmaster... then you are going to miss practically every opportunity that comes your way.

My name is derived for the Greek deity of victory... the same one as a certain sportswear company. I should take note of their slogan and "just do it".

From now on, I intend to.

I'm going to be less deliberate, I'm not going to fight the waves... I'm going to surf them.

I'll leave you with Coldplay's "The Scientist". It is a song I sometimes use in prayer when I have these moments, when I know I need to repent of my obsessive nature. We have to realise that it's more important to embrace God and declare our need of and love for, him; rather than poking and prodding at all the mysteries and dilemmas before us.

Grappling with God

I genuinely feel positive about the coming year, a lot of the obstacles in my life will fall away next year. It's been kind of like a race where I've started several hundred yards behind everyone else... and 2007 will see me cross the start line!

However, there is one thing that genuinely scares me. I have this feeling that at some point early in 2007, God is going to "call me out".

Over the past few days I have been very worried about a couple of things, which were leading me to feeling trapped and made me fear I was being sent down a road I did not wish to travel. I worried that I might have no choice or as a dear friend of mine once put it, that my only choice might be "eat the poo or don't eat the poo." Basically take what you don't want or go hungry. In the end it was just paranoia and nothing came of it... but I had been so depressed by the concept that I had sat up in prayer for an hour in the middle of the night, voicing my anger and my distress.

I've lately been thinking about the passage in Genesis where Jacob physically wrestles God... actually thinking doesn't nearly describe it, I've been obsessing over it. I've read it a couple of times and I've printed off three different sermons from the Internet concerning it, in the hope of discovering what the personal relevance is for me at this time.

Jacob seemed to be trapped between a rock and a hard place. He was uncomfortable with going forward and he couldn't turn back. He was in such a state, he divided his family, servants and belongings into two groups and sat alone on the banks of the river Jabbok, meditating and praying. God knew what was required and instead of patting him on the back and saying "don't worry Jacob it'll be OK", he materialises in physical form, not far from where Jacob was praying. With no distractions, it's just Jacob and God... so what does Jacob do? He decides to lay the smack down on God.

Not a good plan!

One thing I have in common with Jacob is my tenacity and stubborn nature... I don't give in easily. Jacob was never going to win, but he sure wasn't going to quit. God throws Jacob's leg out of whack to shorten the conflict... and that was the moment of epiphany. Jacob was fighting God for a blessing... but all of a sudden, he was no longer trying to beat it out of God... he was holding onto God in desperation. If he let go, God could have left and not blessed him.

God did bless Jacob in the end, actually he had always blessed him, but from now on Jacob realised that he was dependent on God's blessing and embraced him.

People fear God's sovereignty because they foolishly try to understand it in human terms. If a mortal man were to get absolute power, it would corrupt him absolutely. God is not bound to the same curse as us. You could argue that God was being selfish and unfair by doing what he did to Jacob... but ultimately that encounter benefited Jacob and the whole of humanity. What is good for God in the long run is good for us. Or as the writer of Hebrews put it so eloquently:

"Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

I have the feeling I'm going to have my nuts busted by God at some point early in the new year... but on the whole I think that'll probably be a good thing. Something I think I really need to learn, is that God's plan for me isn't just a yoke. He isn't just going to lead me into relationships that i have to tolerate... he's going to lead me into green pasture, people and things I can delight in... because ultimately I'm going to need those blessings to help sustain me later on.

To close with, I've embedded the video tribute to Johnny Cash's "God's Gonna Cut You Down", something for us all to think about there I think...

Expectation in Strife

I'm going through a funny time at the moment as you may well have perceived from earlier entries. I've felt largely deserted/neglected by other Christians and it's finally taken it's toll.

I am certain this has a lot to do with a season of oppression that is going round and so while my heart gets despondent sometimes, my heart of hearts tells me this will pass and to trust in God's strength and timing to help ride this out.

At church on Sunday God, while not allowing my problems to be solved with a magic wand.... did enough to reassure me that he is in this situation looking out for me. First of all I was given hope about my future role, where before there was only confusion and darkness. Nothing solid has materialised... but enough for me to realise I am valued by God and a few core people in that place.

Secondly in the service there were only six of us there... this gave us opportunity to pour our hearts out about things that were dragging us down in our faith. It was a time to be frank and honest and although I felt people were trying to answer away my issues to readily... the important thing was that I had addressed them openly.

Now onto my main reason for writing. During the service, the reading was from Mark 4:

That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, "Let us go over to the other side." Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?"

He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"

They were terrified and asked each other, "Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!"

It occurred to me that a lot of people overlook the fact that this happened fairly early on in Jesus ministry... at a time where he'd done just a handful of miracles - the like of which had been performed by other men empowered by God. It also occurred to me that we look at Jesus in retrospect having had the truth of his nature and who he is revealed to us.

The disciples at the time didn't have that. All they had was the knowledge that they walked with a wise man who was touched by God... they had no reason to expect him to do anything amazing to sort out their predicament. I believe when they woke him up... they weren't just in fear of losing their lives... they were angry. How dare he sleep while the rest of them were desperately bailing out water with their hands in a vain attempt to save the ship and their lives? I am pretty confident that when they woke Jesus they were demanding he join them in frantically scooping out handfuls of water.

It was because of who Jesus was... and the authority given to him, that he saw the situation from a totally different angle and treated it so differently. Firstly he was at peace because he knew the waves and wind didn't have authority to kill him. Secondly, he knew that he didn't need to be a busybody and merely bail water out with his hands. He knew that his Father was in control of that situation... and had empowered Him to resolve it by divine means.

Now as Christians we need to understand what God is saying here about the way we work out our faith daily. Firstly we need to trust patiently in God's timing and not worry about bailing out the water in our own effort. These things are sent to try us and stop us from resting God and spending time in his presence, if we let them dominate our actions then they succeed in their aims.

Secondly we need to get into the habit of responding in the right way to our hunger... be that one of personal need or desire for revival. Take the attitude of the widow from this parable for example:

Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. He said: "In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, 'Grant me justice against my adversary.'

"For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, 'Even though I don't fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won't eventually wear me out with her coming!' "

And the Lord said, "Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?"

As I write these words, I am reminded of a springtime bird and her chicks. It is the young ones that cry out in their hunger and who persist in doing so that have the best chances of survival. It is they that get fed more often. We need to be like that. We need to respond to God when he feeds us... and when he seems quiet, we need to keep asking him to provide for us. When the mother bird returns to the nest to feed her young... will she find them faithfully crying out to her in their hunger? When God comes down to bless his people will he find us calling out to him... or will we be asleep?

A book I am hoping to purchase very soon is the autobiography "The Heavenly Man" by Brother Yun. This man lives under oppression in China... he has few of the things we take for granted in our faith. He did not have access to a Bible and none was forthcoming (you can't just pop to your local Christian bookshop and buy one there). He was told to pray for one.... so he did. Nothing came of it. After a while he spoke to the person who told him to pray for one... and they told him, he needed to pray with more urgency. The man went out, fasted and prayed on a rock for three months to the point where he had tears in his eyes. eventually there was a knock on the door and somebody passed him a red shopping bag in clandestine fashion... within the bag was the bible he had been praying for. Ironically the supplier had the bible ready to give from the very day Brother Yun started praying.... but had been unsure as to whether or not it was a trap... so like the prophet Daniel, it took dedication to bring the prayer's answer to fruition.

We put so much effort into achieving our Godly objectives in our own might... yet we expend our energy fruitlessly. Time and time again in scripture we see that God blesses those who let him have full involvement. Why can't we spend our energy in a more productive fashion and keep asking him with fervour?

I know in my situation that God will call people to account when the time is right, he won't let my ship go down.... sure it doesn't feel that way... but we have to keep believing and not pay attention to the odds.

I keep remembering a famous line from the Matrix:

Neo: What are you trying to tell me? That I can dodge bullets?

Morpheus: No, Neo. I'm trying to tell you that when you're ready, you won't have to.

We don't have to dance to the storms of life when we have a God who has authority over them.

We don't need to dodge bullets.

We need to redefine our understanding of the mechanics of spiritual physics.

Blessings

N

An Amnesty for Owen Hargreaves

Now is this post about football, my psychology or is it about faith? You decide.

Like many England football fans, I have for some time wondered why on Earth Sven has continually selected and utilised the midfielder Owen Hargreaves. He always seems to be brought on in place of more popular players who have been perceived as stronger... and I think this is where his problem has been.

I changed my opinion of him on Tuesday. I think he was helped by getting a start, instead of being substituted on for someone more established.

On a night where England were frightening in defence, Hargreaves stood out as one of the consistently better players.

More importantly I've now realised that in no way can I criticise him... for I'd be a hypocrite were I to continue doing so.

Like Hargreaves, time and time again, the people around me show so little faith in me. Most of them assign me tasks that don't reflect my gifting , my nature, my personality or my capabilities. I plug away at what I'm asked to do in the hope that people will recognise my value as a person.

When it comes down to the crunch... most people don't have a clue what to do with me and don't understand me... but those closest to me (probably numerically no more than the England Team itself), defend me... and my Manager (God) continually backs me up no matter what other people... even many Christians may say about my person.

The persecution of Hargreaves has for now abated... but give it two games and people will return to their scornful ways. I will not. I know how he feels. It's hard to be booed by your own supporters.

It's hard for me to speak and know that the only time men and women will listen to me is if the wind is blowing - when God uses divine intervention to get a message across through me. They make prejudicial assumptions about me, they treat me as less than equal and don't respect or value my opinions... either by just not listening to them and sweeping them under the carpet... or worse by ridiculing them.

What I would give to walk shoulder to shoulder with my brothers and sisters without them thinking of as just making up the numbers. What I would give for them to acknowledge me as an equal... instead I often feel they behave like the Greek gods of myth, treating me as a mortal beneath them and dabbling in my destiny at their own discretion. Whatever their motivation - good or bad, it's not their right to do this. One of the Proverbs says:

"In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps."

It's about the sovereignty of God. We make our choices for our own lives, but God has the ultimate say in where they lead us. Now, if we cannot even determine where our own spiritual travels will take us... what right do any of us have to interfere in another believer's journey?

I know I'm coming across as quite negative here, and a lot of that is due to an air of oppression that exists at this time, but I wanted to express just how fed up I get sometimes of the one way traffic... I have to vent it sometimes.

I keep thinking of a line the poem "If" by Rudyard Kipling:

"If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too"

... and I keep thinking that this is something I have to do every day. In the past I only trusted God... not even myself. As I have grown in confidence, I have learned to accept that I can trust myself too... so long as I keep pace with God. However, this is something that is yet to translate to other people... they still see the buffoon. The worst of those people who are blinded are the ones who claim that they can see.

Sometimes I do wonder if it's my lot in life to only be listened to at divine intersections. After all it's the message that is important and not the messenger... but I can't accept this, I don't see why I can't be embraced by other Christians. I admit I've desired distance in the past... but it is a painful irony now, that having learned from my past... I am now kept at arms length by the people who should be one with me.

Maybe I am the Lone Ranger after all.

Anyway whatever the case may be, you won't find me pouring unfair criticism on Owen Hargreaves... I know the road he walks... and I wouldn't wish it on anyone else.

Dragonslaying

Happy St. George's Day everyone... today is England's national day! An occasion suppressed by political correctness, but never forgotten. Nor should it be, lest fascist bully boys claim it as their own.

Most people in Britain know some part of St. George's story. Much of it is steeped in myth and knightly fantasies concerning the rescue of helpless maidens from the jaws of dragons. He was born in Palestine and served as a tribune under the anti-Christian emperor Diocletian. It was the time that was known as "The Great Persecution". A time when some statistics suggest an average of 17,000 Christians were killed a month. The reason George was initially canonised was because of his opposition to Diocletian's policy. He openly protested against the murder of Christians in Libya and was numbered among them in martyrdom. Slain by the Empire he had spent a lifetime serving... and yet welcomed into a Kingdom that would continue beyond the span of Rome's life... stretching into eternity.

Anyway, that's enough of a voyage into Jackanory territory!

At Church today, we looked at Thomas and his moment of doubt. Poor old Thomas... he gets such a bad press. Everyone forgets he was one of the hardcore of Jesus' followers... the one disciple who suggested the others should go up to Jerusalem to die for Jesus. It must have been hard for him. All of his close friends had seen the risen Christ... Thomas was the first person to be asked to accept the facts without having seen them firsthand. It's possible Thomas had seen Jesus die, because he had knowledge of the spearing of Christ's side (although that could have been related to him with the others by John or Mary). Either way he was pretty upset... and then to cap it all off, his mates start acting off their heads or play some cruel joke by pretending his best friend was alive and risen. If I were Thomas I would be pretty angry. I'd probably want to swing for the others over their apparent disrespect.

Of course, with nearly 2,000 years of hindsight we know better. We know that Jesus had risen.

Thomas made his famous remark about not believing unless he could place his hands in the wounds of Christ. Christ them appeared on the scene in Beadle like fashion and Thomas fell on the floor, astounded by his confrontation with the awesome truth and proclaiming "My Lord and my God!"

I know that moment. I experienced it a couple of weeks ago when I was blessed with my job. Jesus blew apart my perceptions. I prayed before interview and gave it my best shot. i did well... but was beaten. Events like that were par for the course in my previous walk as a Christian. Always giving it my all but just coming up short. However as you may know if you read my earlier blog, the job fell back into my lap again... not by my effort but by God's grace. That was the "My Lord and my God!" moment. God displaying his sovereignty in my life.

So what has this to do with dragonslaying? Well, during my life of toiling against the tide of events... I had naturally grown a negative self image of myself. Fed over time by negativity and misfortune, that tiny creature grew and grew into a behemoth, a leviathan.... a dragon. We all have our inner dragons to slay... and you find them in the strangest of places. some are ever present and oppressive, some only come out at certain times to wreak havoc... other's still are like chamaeleons and blend in with the environment that they invisibly damage. They are like parasites. There is a parasite that when it enters a fish, alters it's nervous system... when all the other fish run away at the sign of danger, the altered fish sits there and waits to be eaten... because that's what the parasite wants. it wants to find it's way into a heron. that is exaclty what our inner dragons do to us. they change our way of thinking and make us act in a way thast is detrimental to our own wellbeing.

Ignore them and they will run amok in your life. Engage them in single combat and they will drain your strength and take away your focus from beneficial things.

Turn them over to God and great things happen.

The recent turn of events in my life has reshaped my attitude to myself and others. I'm not nearly so paranoid or defensive as I was. I'm not afraid of taking a few more risks... and when I do slip up I don't think the sky is falling.

I let God down the other night, because of this I turned up to Church today expecting to not get much out of the service. Instead I was reminded that:

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10

God is on the prowl in my life. He is riding into battle and taking out my personal demons... one by one. in their place he sows a crop of good things, that even as I speak blossom and shape my attitudes more positively.

If you have dragons... seek the Lord. He will fight for you and you will overcome. do not rely on your own might for:

"I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all." Ecclesiastes 9:11

If you live only by using the tools and weapons that are found under the sun... you are left to time and chance. You might get lucky, but you might come badly unstuck.

Live life above the sun... under the authority and power of God... and those dragons have no power over you.

Want to slay your dragons? Let the Lord unleash his power on them!

blessings

N

"Talya Cumi"

Do you remember the New Testament story of how Jesus raised Jairus' daughter from the dead?

Jesus is informed of a girl's sickness and sets off to heal her, but he is "distracted" by a woman suffering from hemorrhaging who was cured by touching his robe. while Jesus calls out to the crowd, to establish who touched him.... the little girl dies of her illness. To the human eye, Jesus failed... he didn't get there in time. However it's another one of those situations that I spoke of the other day. God deliberately allows the situation to deteriorate so that he can demonstrate his sovereignty, love, grace and power in a greater way (you can see the same thing happen in the story of Lazarus).

When Jesus eventually shows up, he tells those around that she is merely sleeping and that he has come to wake her. He utters the Aramaic phrase "Talitha Cumi" which means "little girl, wake up". It is at this point that she is miraculously restored to life.

My week has been a little like that, though not literally of course.

In my last entry I revealed my reaction to the news that I had not been appointed to the position I had applied for at work. Despite my best efforts, I was pipped to the post and naturally disappointed... but for perhaps the first time in a good, long while - I was at peace, I knew good had come out of it and I felt God would work the situation towards the best outcome.

Yesterday I was greeted with the news that the applicant who narrowly beat me, had declined to accept the position once it had been offered... and so it had been offered to me as the second most qualified candidate. I think God was more than adequately demonstrating a point to me. It was only after events had gone beyond my capacity to influence the situation, that they turned in my favour. If I had succeeded straight off, I may have been tempted to boast in my own abilities. As it is, I have an opportunity to boast about my God... which is far better.

My whole outlook to life seems to be evolving... actually that probably doesn't adequately explain it - transforming would be a better word. Evolving implies a long and gradual process, but the things that are happening to me are much quicker.

I feel that God's voice is speaking tenderly to me.... "Talya Cumi" - "little boy, wake up" (I know you were wondering how I was going to work the title in and now you know*). I'm feeling far more relaxed around people and my energy levels are way up. I believe that the process of change that stalled some time around this time of year in 2004, has been reinvigorated.

Some of the things that I have stumbled across in other peoples comments here, as well as their own blogs... seem to be reminding me that God would pick up where he left off. Now it seems he is beginning to lead me back to blessing. Not because of my desire or effort, but because of his joy and his grace.

I pray the fruit of God's blessings will be yours to experience in the coming days.

Nick


*
When researching the Aramaic masculine equivalent of "Talitha Cumi" I came across something very interesting. The word "Talitha" is Aramaic slang for a ewe lamb... and at the time it was common at the time of Jesus for Hebrews to use the term in connection with children. It's the same as we do today when we call kids "little sparrow" or "kitten" or anything similar.

Now the word "Talya" is the male equivalent and it also is slang and literally means "lamb". Hebrew parents would call their boys it all the time.

It has therefore been argued that the term "Lamb of God" as used in the New Testament may not just have been allegorically used... it could have been a literal term - making it clear to the early reader that Jesus is God's Son. I don't know if that's the concrete case (that Lamb of God was understood in that context then), but it's an interesting thought.

Hunter, Prey

Have you ever had that feeling where there doesn't seem any doubt that something is out to get you?

I was discussing with a friend of mine, my spiritual journey up until now. We reminisced how my only previous serious relationship had been a millstone for me. How it seemed like a perfectly engineered snare, designed to bring me down and destroy me. You could just say it was happenchance or coincidence... but I'm not a man who believes in coincidences. Like Einstein I do not believe God... nor the forces that dare attempt contend with him, play dice. Everything happens for a reason, just like in chaos theory.... even the seemingly pointless random and/or meaningless events, tragedies and surprises that come upon us are an act of will; all find meaning and fulfillment in the long term, the "bigger" picture.

That relationship WAS a purposely planned trap, I am certain. However despite the trap being sprung; in my case it didn't succeed in destroying me, although it came pretty close to leaving me utterly spent. The door was closed... but the thing about burglars is they always look for another way in:

"I tell you the truth, the man who does not enter the sheep pen by the gate, but climbs in by some other way, is a thief and a robber."

It was shortly after I became free, that I became aware that a friend of mine was playing off my defences... to satisfy his ego. Let me explain something: when I am highly stressed, I tend to start playing the jester... doing strange surreal things to mask my discomfort. Unfortunately this makes people think I'm a complete lunatic... and they can't see past my brilliant disguise (probably because they are used to it). However, this one friend was particularly good at cultivating that reaction out of me. The same person has messed me about several times and in several different ways when I have tried to make a positive impression around girls... always to benefit his self image at my expense.

I could say that he knows how to push my buttons, knows how to use all my weaknesses against me.... but I seriously doubt he has the intellect to consciously do this. I have therefore concluded that he is being used as a pawn in a deadly game of cat and mouse. I believe the game is still afoot. I'm still being hunted. I feel like I have walked around in a circle and stumbled across the familiar tracks of my adversary. It is as if I have my own personal Loki (Norse god of mischief).

I could get all depressed here and feel miserable because of the oppressive force I feel is working against me... but it's simply not the case. While I have been thinking about these things, I am also reminded that I've had my fair share of "lucky" scrapes. There have been at least 4 times where I could have died as a result of possible or actual car incidents that I walked or drove away unschathed... and despite being in that dodgy relationship I spoke of, I got out of it.

I have mentioned before that I feel I am being "reserved" for a day of God's choosing. He has something for me to do... and the Enemy would do anything to stop me reaching whatever it is I am called to. It's the same for anyone who would follow God.

So I take joy in the fact that whatever is out there working against me... it is held in check by he who protects me The Good Shepherd who calls me to greener pastures - Jesus Christ.

"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."

More than this I am confident that when the time is right, he will not just hold my ground... but claim the Land he has promised me:

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified.
What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

In all our troubles, we often fall into the danger of forgetting God is Sovereign. We must never forget that everything that happens to us as Christians, happens for the glory of God. We also have the assurance from scripture that he will never let us suffer beyond our means to bear whatever befalls us.

You may disagree with this and that's fine. My view of destiny and free will is more complex and "at odds" with both Augustinian and Pelagian theology. Although... I'm just a layman.

We are often transfixed by the problem of Evil. How can Good overcome Evil... when the fruits of Evil are so obviously evident and numerous in this world? I would like to challenge you to look at it another way. It is Evil that is perplexed and confounded by Good. For despite all it's short term victories I am confident that in the long term and most especially the eternal.... Good always prevails. The paragon of this is Jesus Christ himself: when darkness had it's hour and Evil had spent it's complete fury on him resulting in his death... it was not enough. More than this. Evil had not understood that God REQUIRED Evil to utterly spend itself on His Son.... in order that we would not have to pay the price ourselves. In it's short term success, Evil completely missed the point. This is what scripture says:

"Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it. There came a man who was sent from God; his name was John. He came as a witness to testify concerning that light, so that through him all men might believe. He himself was not the light; he came only as a witness to the light. The true light that gives light to every man was coming into the world. He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God."

So it is clear:

Evil does not understand Good. Darkness does not understand Light. Light however reveals darkness for what it is and overcomes it. Receive the Light of Christ and in the long term he will enable you to throw off your chains. Pretty soon whatever hunts you.... will become the hunted.

Always remember:

"The one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world"

Disagreeing With Theological Giants

This probably isn’t as in depth as the original, which for some reason disappeared into the ether… great!!!! All thanks to MSN Spaces, where this was originally posted back in 2005.

I think my understanding of spiritual condition and sin is radically different from the versions put forward by both Augustine and Pelagius.

My understanding of “original” sin, is that the guilt for it lies solely with the original perpetrators, but the consequences of it still lie with us. Augustine would probably agree with this but the buck probably stops there.

Augustine would have us believe that our nature is changed to one of evil, that without baptism, we are all doomed from birth; even infants would not escape hellfire. This doesn’t fit with scripture, because scripture teaches us that we are judged by the light we receive. I think that people who have not developed a proper understanding of right and wrong, are not held accountable. God is completely righteous, completely loving and completely just.

Pelagius believed that our nature was essentially good, and that God would not call us to be good if we didn’t have the means within us to achieve this in the first place.

I disagree here with both of them. I agree our nature changed, but not in a sense of good or evil, just in attitude.

What we lost as a race when we fell, was not our capacity to do good, it was our ability to be in direct fellowship with God. This meant that we were made much more susceptible to evil desires. We were acting independently of God. It means that we cannot have a proper relationship with God though, one without true union. Although this makes us sinful, it doesn’t make us inherently evil by nature. Sin, as I have mentioned before came from an archery term meaning “to fall short”. In this state, how we fall short is up to us. We can try and keep God’s commands (but we will fail at some point), or we can openly rebel against God. However, in the final analysis… without God’s intervention both paths unfortunately end in destruction.

As an example, think of a broken tooth that becomes rotten. The break itself will not cause death, but it will attract more tartar and plaque which will lead to it’s death through rotting. We can obey God’s Law (which I suppose is equivalent to brushing your teeth and flossing), or we can openly rebel by refusing to do that and worse… eat sugary foods that we know are harmful.

By observing God’s will for us in our actions, we “clean our teeth”, by acting in rebellion to God we hasten our spiritual demise.

However, observance of the Law in itself is not sufficient (because we will always fail to some degree). The damage done to us means the eventual balance will lead to spiritual death. What we need is something that plugs the gap in our broken tooth.

That, would be Jesus. By dying for our sins, he restored the gap in our broken tooth. No, even more than this… he recreated us in his image, we are new creations… complete in god’s sight through Christ’s sacrifice. We can still sin of course, and that will harm the eventual condition of the tooth… but it will never rot to a point where it dies. This is why it is important to avoid sinning… scripture clearly teaches us that after death, Christians are still accountable for what they do with their salvation, it’s just that the eventual discipline does not result in eternal death.

Where Augustine believed mankind is fundamentally bad, Pelagius believed that mankind’s nature was fundamentally good. I believe that mankind is fundamentally broken, but has a diverse nature… Many of us are on the whole good, many essentially bad… but when we have reached that certain point of accountability in our life, we ALL require divine grace in order to attain salvation.

Both Pelagius and Augustine were of their time, as was Calvin… so I try not be too hard on them.

Calvin used the scripture “those God foreknew, he predestined” to propagate the idea that God only bothers trying to save a lucky few. If that were true, how would you explain the parable of the sower? Or the fact that according to Peter, Jesus preached to the Flood dead?

I find that teaching completely abhorrent. I believe that God loves and reaches out to all, equally and without discrimination. He does this despite the fact he knows people will reject him. This is perhaps the most tragic yet moving thing about his love for us. You might be an atheist from the cradle to the grave, and God will know this... he will know the fruitlessness of reaching out and attempting to save you... but do you know what, even with a 0% possibility of you choosing to accept him... he still reaches out.

There is a much used statement about Christ's sacrifice that is true: If by dying he could only save one person, and that person was you... he'd still do it.

What I believe is also true, is that even if NOBODY had chosen to accept his gift of salvation, he would still have offered it.

Pelagius, Augustine and Calvin all have to some degree or other, valid points. However, they all fall short because they do not have a proper understanding of how time works. They all favour either free will or destiny, without trying to properly explain the role of the other they have rejected.

God is outside of and yet permeates time completely. To him, all the past and all the future is happening in the present tense (can you even imagine the complexity of that?). He knows and loves you to the very core of your being. He knows every choice you have made, and will make, and why you made or will make them. He knows the way you will jump in every conceivable scenario, even when the interaction of others is involved. Each person’s individuality from the dawn of time till the end of days is taken into consideration; we therefore all have free will and the freedom to make any choice we wish. However, God also has a complete and perfect plan for the human race, which we all play our part in. So we have a destiny

That is the beautiful paradox. We are both completely free and completely destined. Recently I came across a proverb, which I believe backs this idea up:

“In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.” - Proverbs 16:9

So based on my conclusions here and in other blog entries, I believe if I had existed at some point between 300 and 1700 AD, I would have been burned at the stake by at least one denomination.

So on a heresy rating of 1-10, where do you guys rate me? If you think I’m wrong, tell me. If you have your own comments on the thoughts of Pelagius, Augustine and Calvin… do tell. If I’ve gotten anything out of context please comment.

Blessings and regards

Nick

Human Nature

I'd like to share my views on the controlling aspect of our human nature.

Firstly I'd like to take a look at Genesis chapter 3, principally the bit where man receives his "punishment":

"Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life. It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field. By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken;for dust you are and to dust you will return."

Sometimes I wonder, just how much of that is actually punishment, and just how much is consequence of what Man had become by taking the fruit of the tree and good and evil?

What do I mean?

Well, before the Fall, everything we received came from God. but when we begin thinking like God, start developing independence, we tend so start not to rely on him.... seeking instead to provide for our own needs and the needs of those around us. With this new found ability, you might think God would be pleased at the opportunity to put his feet up.

Yet clearly in the Bible, there are instances where God provides for his people when they call on his name. The Israelites in the wilderness, Hagar and Ishmael at death's door. Over and over, when a person's own resources are spent, they call upon God and he answers.

What is the key to this? I believe the answer lies in the following passage:

"But Jesus called the children to him and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”

What does that mean? Well think about a little child for a moment. a child cannot fend for itself, it relies up on it's parents and benefactors to provide for it, until it is ready.

I think that's what Jesus is saying. That we need to stop thinking we have to do this in our strength. That instead we should rely upon his power, trust purely in him... easier said then done, I know. However, I still believe it should be our aim.

After all, all the major instances of revival in this nation have been when people in the Church get on their knees and say sorry for trying to run God's Kingdom for him.

God is sovereign, he alone knows whats best for us as individuals and in the Church as a whole.

We don't need to be INDEPENDENT, we need to be IN DEPENDENCE.

Blessings to you

Nick