Sunday, January 30, 2005

Church

Well, I decided to take a break from my own church at Great Alne this morning. Simple fact of the matter is, that there wasn't a service there... it was a united benefice service at Coughton, and I didn't feel like going, as I find services there are too liturgically heavy. I also take issue with that church's stance with regard to freemasonry. Having read up on the subject, I do not feel it's appropriate for Christians to associate themselves with masonic organisations... and yet Coughton hosts the annual midlands area service for the Freemasons.
Which brings me to another point. I get very depressed at the notion of secular minded people having authority in the Church. It's no secret that I resent the fact that Tony Blair (or any PM for that matter... but especially Tony Blair), has the final say on the appointment of every Anglican bishop. He claims he is a Christian, and yet he condones taking advice from a new age guru. My opinion is that he actually is a polytheist. He has a very Roman approach to theism. Basically all beliefs are equal and the same. Well, maybe they are in the world's view, but if you try and align them all together, you just get nonsense. If you believe something, you shouldn't have to feel pressurised to put it into a cosmic blender, just so that it agrees with everyone else. Dare to be different.
In the end, I plumbed for going to Astwood Bank church, I have a couple of friends there, and I felt it was important, after last weeks episode, to touch base with them and let them know I was OK. I know at least one of them was concerned for my well being, and had been praying for me. Important note their folks... if you know someone is praying for you, it's good to let them know that it's appreciated... it's encouraging to do so.
I think I may have stumbled across the oldest recorded hymn in Christendom. They were singing something the words of which were written by some bloke called Aurelius... who lived from the mid fourth, to the early fifth century AD. Jinkies!

Friday, January 28, 2005

Emotional Security and Wellbeing

There are those who believe that at this precise point in time, I should really be feeling like one of the following:

OK, yeah I've invested a lot of time in building up somebody else's emotional and spiritual well being, and yes I did become emotionally interested, only to be firstly treated like a romantic yo-yo, and eventually left out in the cold, but do you know what? With God on-board, even the most mortal blows can sometimes seem like a pin-prick.

It's either that, or I'm just getting to a point in life where I can handle being treated like crud, in a mature and adult fashion.

You see, when you write a note saying how you feel about somebody (who already knows from the times you've told them), what do you do when you get a mixed reaction? Well in response to my message, I was completely blanked the following day... and yet on Tuesday morning, you get a note in the post admitting they've been backing off but they still want to be good friends, what would you do?

I personally decided that actions speak louder than words, and I called time on it. You see, it's quite possible, when she's finished chasing her rainbows that she'll come back and do the same thing again. It's not healthy for her to do that, and it certainly isn't healthy for me to let her do it to me.

Do any of you remember the film Apollo 13? There's a bit in that film when two of the astronauts come over from the LEM to join Kevin Bacon's character in the capsule. There is a big yellow post it note saying "NO!" on it. He wrote that because he was getting scared and thought he might freak out and blow the others into space yo save his own hide. Well that's how I'm treating this. What happened on Sunday was rude, and out of order, and I will completely back off now because of that. It's conceivable that if this friendship survives, it will take time to heal. But I'm keeping the note I received, and I'll tell you why... it's my "NO" sticker. If she comes to me now, having changed her mind... the door is shut.

I am free.

I'm not bitter at all about this, in fact I'm surprised at how quickly I've recovered. However I will maintain a safe distance from her.

But now the fun begins... no single er lets say 22-31 woman in Christendom (solid faith in Christ required) is safe now.

All joking aside, I'm back... and it's about time!

N
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