...and Ecce January

This is my second attempt at writing this blog post... the previous one died after Google decided to log me out and my browser crashed. Grr.

Anyway... thank goodness - 2010 is all done and dusted, welcome at last to 2011.

I don't know about you... but I don't really have any major resolutions worked out yet. I don't have a road map as such.  I do know that this year will mark out a few changes for me, personally. Some of the opportunities that have given me greatest sense of joy , fellowship and sowing spiritual seeds, will not be available to me this year; those doors are closed this year it would seem.

The Bible teaches us that there is a time to sow and a time to reap... and that while one person sows, another reaps. Whilst I will continue to look for opportunities to serve, I do wonder if I am entering into a time where I will be able to reap things. As we begin the year, I am feeling an urge to once more spread my wings and broaden my horizon. I am not like Luke Skywalker gazing forlornly into a binary sunset... wondering if things will ever change. Things will change... they always do. We just have to be prepared to make and take opportunities... and most of all, trust in God.

Things will change. They always do. It just takes time, trust and action.

In the words of Bilbo Baggins "I think I'm quite ready for another adventure".

Although, I don't think I'm quite ready to be shipped out to the Undying Lands just yet though. No, there are plenty of japes, jollities, wonders, mischiefs and new discoveries yet to be experienced on this good Earth as yet.

I start this year as I mean to go on... thinking positive and looking for the opportunities and defining moments the year will bring. I've already begun looking at some options. Later in the year, I hope to go on a tour of Italy.

Last night, I found myself at a loose end and decided to lie down for 10 minutes of quiet time in my bedroom. As I did so, I felt an eerie breeze blow down on me and my mind was drawn back to an old, familiar story... the story of an eagle that was raised in the belief it was a chicken:

One day, a man stole an egg from the nest of a golden eagle... and he took the egg and left it nestled among other eggs in a chicken coop. One by one, all the eggs hatched and among them was the infant eagle. It spent every day for many years living among the chickens and scratching for food in the dirt, content with its lot... never having reason to question it's purpose or differences.

Then one day, a piercing cry was heard from above... and a silhouette... a strange yet somehow familiar shadow, swept across the farmyard. High above the farm below, an eagle circled in the bright sunlight.

The eagle asked his chicken "siblings" what this strange new bird was. "That is an eagle, he belongs to the sky... we are chickens, we belong to the Earth" they replied. Our earthbound eagle looks to the sky and ponders... he is about to dismiss all he has witnessed when he hears the eagle cry once more... and a breeze blows beneath his wings... gently ruffling his feathers. Instinctively.... the eagle scuttles across the farmyard beating it's wings. It catches the breeze, takes to the sky... and finds the thermal that takes it up to it's fellow eagle high up in the clouds and sunlight.

We need to learn from the eagle... living on the vertical as well as the lateral.

Like the eagle, our beliefs and opinions are shaped by our experiences; this is never more true than where our self-perception is concerned. We enter this world and live out our daily lives along a lateral axis... because that is what we see in the world around us. However, there comes a time for all of us sooner or later... when we are challenged by a call to live on the vertical as well as the horizontal. Taking into account what I said a few days ago at the end of last year... this is equally true for those of us who have already embraced a call to follow God. How easy is it to get entangled with the red tape in our lives... or to run with an idea given from God on the vertical... but use only the resources of the human lateral to carry it out.

We need to keep our ears to the ground and our eyes to the horizon... listening and watching for the whispers, signs and moments that empower us and transform us - that immeasurable help from above that causes us to amend what we are and shapes what we should be.

It is so easy to forget the vertical and live out life on the lateral... we need to remember there is more than just the complexities of modern life.

The obvious Bible passage to share with you here is Isaiah 40:31. However, I feel just using that one verse alone would be a little clichéd. So here it is with a few of the preceding verses (I shall explain why):

Lift up your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one and calls forth each of them by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing.

Why do you complain, Jacob? Why do you say, Israel, “My way is hidden from the LORD; my cause is disregarded by my God”? Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary,they will walk and not be faint. 

Isaiah 40:26-31

I'll let you into a little secret... it's just between you and me. Part of my problem in previous years is that I have felt very much like Jacob and Israel. I have felt that my cause has been disregarded by God... that I'm out here trying to walk in his ways, while others have reaped the benefits that this life has to offer, regardless of what choices they have made.

You see, the temptation is not to stare at the horizon... or not to look to the eagle in the sky. The temptation is to become downcast and gaze at our toes... or look at the successes of the chickens around us and grow in despair. If we are different... then we are not going to find what we are looking for in the same places as others.

We have to decide what we are. We have to find our own voice deep within and sing with all our hearts. When it comes to who we are as individuals... we cannot be a half or a part of something. You either are or you are not. If our heart is calling us to be something and we repress it... it will in the long run reassert itself with a vengeance and either consume us or leave us feeling lost and wasted.

If we can but trust in the Everlasting God who loves us... he will lift us up and give us the strength to claim our true destiny... and become the people we are meant to be.

Though our feelings might suggest otherwise... they are temporary and subject to change. The Everlasting God does not faint, does not grow weary and does not forget his promises to us.

He can be trusted.

Trust him in 2011.

Just Like Dad

I promised I'd fill you in on my sermon from Sunday (based on Galatians 5:16-25 & John 14:15-27) and here is the gist.... albeit a little late:

Peter Kay once commented in his list of universal truths, that knowledge is knowing that a tomato is fruit... wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

It's funny, but it's true on many levels. I wonder if we treat the fruit of the Spirit the same way? There are words we are so familiar with... love, joy, peace, patience... and it's so easy for us to restrict them to the way we understand them in every day life.

But in reality... our mere human understanding of love, joy, peace etc... is actually a tomato in a fruit salad. God's love is far superior to human love, his peace surpasses our experience of peace. For every word we use to describe the fruit of the Spirit, there is a temptation to limit them to the boundaries of human emotion.

The truth is that the fruit of the Spirit is not just about emotion... yes, emotion is a part... but the fruit of the Spirit is a list of the characteristics of God's nature.

• We need God's love as much when we experience hate... as when we experience the warmth of others.
  
  
• We need God's joy as much when we are struggling with grief or enduring hardship, as when we are all smiles and happiness.
  
  
• We need God's peace as much in the midst of the violent maelstrom, as we do to appreciate moments of silence and perfect beauty. Jesus had peace that enabled him to sleep through the fiercest squall.... while his disciple panicked for their very lives.
  
  
• We need God's kindness when we are faced with unspeakable cruelty.

... and so on and so forth.

Now the Spirit enables us to grow these characteristics in our own lives. But why is it important? We read a lot in the media about needing to eat our 5 portions of physical fruit on a daily basis. It's even more important to get a regular supply of spiritual fruit as well. Father's day gives us an extra insight into why we need to grow.

For many of us, our fathers are positive role models... as children we want to be like them. It should be the same with God the Father. If we are serious about being faithful to him, we need to develop a desire to grow into his character. Jesus was the ultimate example of the Father at work in human form... but the Spirit enables us to become like Jesus, like the Father. And like a father cheers on his son at a football game... or encourages us to ride faster whilst grabbing on to a saddle to stop us falling when we learn to ride a bike... the Spirit calls to us with the Father's voice, encouraging us on.

I was watching QI a few days ago... and Stephen Fry spoke of how on the Bayeux Tapestry, there is an image of William the Conqueror waving a spear at his warriors. Above this is written "William comforts his troops". It's a strange image isn't it? However it was explained that in the middle ages,the word "comfort" also meant "to encourage".

One of the names of the Holy Spirit is "the Comforter"... and while it's true that the Spirit is there for us to embrace when we are feeling broken or in need of warmth... it is also true that the spirit encourages us to go forward and grow in the power of God.

Now some of you may not have had a positive parental figure... and some of you may have lost your parent(s), who you were close to. However, this doesn't mean you have to feel like you are left out. In the Gospel reading, we are told by Jesus:

"And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Counsellor to be with you forever— the Spirit of truth. The world cannot accept him, because it neither sees him nor knows him. But you know him, for he lives with you and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you."

John 14:16-18

He will not leave us as orphans... that is a sovereign promise.

As good as any parent can be. They are only a shadow of the kind of parent God longs for us to be.

Maybe you are reading this and you can't recall having had a positive Father figure in your life and you are lost. In the Lion King, the character Simba also feels this way. He finds himself wandering the wilderness eating grubs because he has lost touch with his destiny, the legacy which his father Mufasa was to pass on to him.

In a sudden moment, Simba is confronted with the idea that his father's spirit lives in him:

When Simba realises the truth, he hears his fathers voice.... and begins to grow into the person he was meant to be.

You have a Father who loves you.... even if you never realised it.

His Spirit calls out to us, so that we can hear him and grow.

Finally,there's one other important reason why we need to grow fruit in our lives... and that is in order that others may be fed. The best form of evangelism, is how we treat other people. If we show people the character of God in our daily lives... above all things that we do, I am convinced that is the paramount way in which people will encounter God and hopefully come to him.

In the old Testament, Moses pleaded for God's presence to go with the Israelite's else how would people know that they were set apart... that God had called them. Similarly... how will people know that God is alive and active within our person, if we don't take every opportunity to show his character, his love to them.

Actions speak louder than words.

Walking Tall

It appears I am growing in more ways than one... or at least if that's not true, then the world around me appears to be shrinking.

At first I dismissed it out of hand. My head brushed on the light strip in the kitchen at work. In the past I'd need to slightly raise myself to do that, now it seems I have to duck slightly.

However, tonight I went Rob and Susan's house. I did the usual 45 minute work out routine (otherwise known as being chased by the kids and returning the favour), but when it was time for Benji's bed time he asked "Who is bigger... Daddy or Uncle Nick?" He asks this every now and then, and sometimes he means age not height.... on this occasion it was height. So Rob and I stood back to back... we used to be about the same height... Rob having a slight edge... now I am about half an inch to an inch taller.

Is this even possible? Can fully grown adult men have a second bout of growth spurts? At 32 you'd think the only thing that would be growing would be hair, toenails, ears and nose (the latter two continue growing throughout life... which leads me to wonder if I'll look like Dumbo in 2050?).

Am I a mutant or is my metabolism playing up? Are we all mistaken, or is there a medical phenomenon where some adults start growing again?

I did have a thought that perhaps this is something to do with my new found confidence and rediscovered sense of self worth. Maybe I'm just standing straighter, walking taller... and this has led to my apparent vertical expansion. The flaw in this is that Rob and I have stood back to back, straight as a rod before... so the difference shopuld have been noticeable too

Your thoughts and comments on this... half baked, off the wall or even medically sound; are as of course always welcome.

Victory Disguised as Defeat

Well I didn't succeed in getting promoted to a job at work yesterday. I was narrowly beaten into second choice by a woman called Miss Perfect (I'm not joking... that's her name, I should have seen the portents and warning signs in that one shouldn't I!). Having not secured the position I was aiming for, I failed... didn't I?

Or did I?

It doesn't occur that way to me. I'm naturally disappointed, but I feel that despite losing one battle... I've won a more important long term one. You have to look at the bigger picture.

The very fact that I stepped up to bat at all, demonstrated that I'm not the doormat people take me to be. If I feel something is good for me... I'm prepared to go for it. I'm not just an "also ran".

When the working day was over and I was called in to be informed of the result, I was told that I had performed really well in interview. The panel had taken a level playing field approach and I had risen to the very top of that field - I should be proud of myself. Their was only one part of the job... one fatally crucial part that I was beaten on by one of the other candidates. I know it was hard for them because they took two hours to deliberate just between the two of us. Having had it explained to me, I know putting me as second choice was the right decision.

However good will come of this. I have won allies. all the people on the interview panel are on the management team. My own boss was so impressed with me (to a degree which surprised even her), that she fought to let me keep one aspect of the job that she felt would be good for my development. Furthermore, without wanting to go into too much detail... I have confidence that people are going to fight my corner when it comes time for my next appraisal. The other good thing is that I will get the time to train up in other areas I feel are important to both my career and future personal development.

So no, I haven't lost - this is one of my Gandalf moments!

What do I mean by that? If you've read or watched Lord of the Rings, you will know that Gandalf goes up against his superior - Saruman the White and is temporarily incarcerated at Isengard. Later on, Gandalf is confronted by the Balrog - a terrible demonic force, bent on destruction. Gandalf defeats the Balrog but falls "out of thought and time". Gandalf the Grey dies... but it is not the end. He is restored to life and sent on to complete his mission as Gandalf the White. Later in the hall of King Theoden he breaks the spell of Saruman the White that is holding the King... astounding his former superior, who's staff and authority he later breaks. If Gandalf had not fallen, not made the supreme sacrifice... he would never have received the power and authority to defeat Saruman.

Loss is an important part of growth. if the seed does not perish the tree cannot be born.

In the last couple of years, my God has taken me along this route.... he has started with my friends and now he is doing it to my colleagues. Bringing me into situations where I am cloaked in grey but giving me the opportunity to show my true mettle.

So the temporal physical result of my interview is not so much of an issue to me... I feel I have proved my character and my true nature to both my colleagues and myself. I still consider after all that has happened, that this is an achievement. Amusingly and poignantly Bob Dylan's "Blowin' in the Wind" is playing on my Yahoo radio as I write this.

As we are also coming up to Good Friday... I couldn't resist looking at the ultimate example of victory disguised as defeat - the death of Jesus Christ. Metallica once wrote a song about this describing Jesus as "the God who failed". On the surface, it must have certainly seemed like that 2000 years ago in the city of Jerusalem. Jesus lay cold in the grave, butchered under Roman law by gentile and jew alike. his disciples locked themselves away in defeat. One (Judas) took his life over his shame and act of betrayal, another (Simon Peter) harboured the dark secret that he had denied the existence of his best friend to save his own skin. Imagine the shock of Mary Magdalene, Simon Peter, John, and the rest of the disciples as they each experienced something of a miracle. some at forst only saw the empty grave.... but others saw Jesus. On the road to Emmaus, two of Jesus disciples had the whole picture explained to them why the death of Jesus was necessary, why his story didn't end in death. Why... even today he lives. Metallica were wrong. God does not fail, he operates on a different level.... where the contexts of victory and defeat are fundamentally altered.

What mankind often conceptually regards as victory or defeat, often differ greatly from the real concepts of victory or defeat that God would have us understand.

For of man's victories he says:

And he told them this parable: "The ground of a certain rich man produced a good crop. He thought to himself, 'What shall I do? I have no place to store my crops.'

"Then he said, 'This is what I'll do. I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I'll say to myself, "You have plenty of good things laid up for many years. Take life easy; eat, drink and be merry." '

"But God said to him, 'You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?'

"This is how it will be with anyone who stores up things for himself but is not rich toward God." - Luke 12:16-21

Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?" Luke 9:23-25

God is not against us making the most of our earthly lives... but his desire is us to live our temporal lives in a proper context. What is the point of living it up... if we deny ourselves the opportunity to enjoy the true riches which God promises? This is what the whole book of Ecclesiastes is about - the futility of living life "under the sun", just living this life in a "what you see is what you get" fashion. There is more, much more in life for us to experience than the brief joys of material gain.

Jesus promises that:

"I am the gate; whoever enters through me will be saved. He will come in and go out, and find pasture. The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." - John 10:9,10

Live life above the Sun and in the Son.

Don't always trust your own perception of life's situations, trust in the Lord:

For the foolishness of God is wiser than man's wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man's strength. - 1 Corinthians 1:25

Finally I leave you with some quotes I gleaned from the trailer to the Return of the King:

There can be no triumph
without loss

No victory
without suffering

No freedom
without sacrifice


All you have to decide is what to do with the time given to you.