Different

Well I made it back.

But before I post anything about my experiences in the Promised Land, I thought I'd like to share with you the effect my miniature odyssey has had on me.

I feel like my procrastination levels have dropped significantly. Yes I think about things, but in several key circumstances recently I have found myself acting on my thoughts within a relatively short space of time. I don't seem to be afraid of my choices any more. I accept that some of those choices are not always going to pay off how I might like... but I'm not as scared of making those decisions as once I might have been.

What is more I seem more resilient to things that normally would have bothered me no end. Someone said something to me recently which normally would have speared me clean through and left me moping for ages... but I found that while I was initially hurt by the words, in hours they bounced off. I was bruised but not broken by it. I was kind of thinking... "Huh? This isn't supposed to happen!"

I think too much good has happened for me to risk casting it all aside over any one thing.

I set out for Israel in the hope of achieving three personal objectives. All three of those were met by the grace of God.

I flew, there and back again.

I swam in En Gedi and the Dead Sea (if you are a casual reader you are thinking "so what". However, if you know me, you know the reasons why I had hang ups on that front).

I met several Palestinian Christians.

How those things played out are tales in themselves... but the first two were utterly crucial steps in claiming back ground in my heart of hearts... and I simply could not have done it without the grace of God. However, in doing those very things I find myself changed and changed for the better.

The rules of the game have been favourably altered.

Remember an old passage I quoted in a time of sadness?

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."

Proverbs 13:12

Well...in the past couple of days I've found myself coming back to a passage that was mentioned quite early on in our studies in Israel:

"But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God's unfailing love for ever and ever. I will praise you forever for what you have done; in your name I will hope, for your name is good. I will praise you in the presence of your saints."

Psalm 52:8-9

Perhaps some very important longings (longings I may not have been entirely aware of), have been fulfilled. And with that fulfilment there is perhaps the promise of a new period of personal growth.

I remember very clearly the day I dived into the waters of En Gedi. I remember it especially because earlier that day I had nearly collapsed with heat stroke on the barren slopes of Masada. I somehow made it to the bottom and kept myself going... but it was not until En Gedi that I was restored to a better condition.

That event was a microcosm for so much in my life. Trying to climb down from a desolate fortress in the beating rays of the midday sun, and then discovering that in order to be restored, I needed to commit myself to do doing something I feared and let God have me in a situation I did not wish to consciously go. Plunging into those icy waters was not just restoring to my body but restoring to my soul... something I feel the whole holiday experience has been about. I am determined to see that the lessons and experiences I have taken from my trip, are not lost from memory or time.

But I have a question to ask of you.

Are you on Masada or in the springs of En Gedi? Are you stranded on a mountain and failing fast, or have you learned that there is an answer to your weariness and burdens... albeit a difficult answer that requires you to face something you fear or are uncomfortable with? Sometimes you have to face your Masada's before you can finally be in a place to find the refreshing spring.

But please take it from someone who knows. As awkward, troubling and challenging as that journey may seem to you... you should take it, because restoration is at hand for the one who is willing to surrender to God instead of striving through their sorrows.

May God bless you, grant you courage and above all... restore your soul.

Shelling Out

So it looks like Shell's tanker fleet of lorries will be crippled by a strike in little over 54 hours.

The Government has been very quick to step in and urge us all not to panic buy... everything will be OK they promise.

Not likely.

Simple fact, even if they can ensure there's enough fuel for the duration of the strike... the simple fact is that demand will increasingly outweigh supply, irrespective of panic buying. There may well be enough fuel to go round, but it's going to get progressively expensive.

So do you really think I'm going to sit around and wait for that to happen?

Nope. I had half a tank full, which would probably just last me to the end of the strike... the point where I suspect it'll be the most expensive. So as soon as I got out of work, I shot down the road and pulled into the local 24 hour and filled up. I'm not ashamed to admit it... and I advise you to consider doing the same. That should see me through to about the 20th.

I think drivers are getting pushed to boiling point at the moment. It's very easy to look at drivers in the cities with their "Chelsea Tractors" and say that people should use public transport, but frankly out here in rural/semi rural communities that just isn't an option... and people are being penalised just for trying to get to work on time.

I can see the Government getting into real trouble over this if it doesn't do something to alleviate matters soon. Surely with the price of oil rising, the amount of duty raked in from petrol purchases (the lion's share at circa a whopping 60%), must be phenomenally over the projected amount of revenue in the Budget.

I hate conceitedness and arrogance.. and one way or another the Government's got a bloody nose coming... you can only say "we are listening, we are learning lessons" so many times before people just see you as disingenuous.

This time feels worse than when the public protests took place. Back then, it felt that people were pretty much trying it on. Now however, so many people are openly hurting... because everything they need to buy is going up... and every asset they own is rapidly losing value. I forewarned about a potential political nightmare vision of Britain that I predicted would probably kick off when the "Baby Boom" generation became infirm... I suggested about 15-20 years from now.

However, maybe I was being conservative. With the financial burdens and lack of resources hitting everyone hard, one wonders if we are actually seeing birth pangs.

I'm not a materialist at heart, I know God will provide the things we genuinely need... and I've been blessed for so long... but how many people out there are hurting and don't realise God will not get them sucked into utter oblivion if they but call on him?

You know what? As I type this post... I'm hearing Robin Mark's prayer and the Mandate song "Revival" on my Last FM radio... and it's the message that God is crying out now. He's crying it to the Christians to be ready to pick up those who the World is hurting... and he's crying it to those who the World is hurting... that they might turn and find comfort in his Name.

I hear the voice of one crying...

I hear the voice of one crying...

"Prepare ye... prepare ye the way of the LORD... make His paths straight make straight his paths in the wilderness let his light shine, let his light shine in the darkness and let your rain fall and let your rain fall in this desert."

I can hear that thunder in the distance like a train on the edge of the town, I can feel the brooding of the Spirit - lay your burdens down... lay your burdens down.

Whatever mankind gets us into, God has the power to get us out.

Costs, Benefits and Obedience

I've been away from my blog for a few days whilst taking time to procrastinate over thoughts about life in general.

I have noticed lately that people I care about seem to be being challenged to go forward into a situation... and then have all the things that made their choices "easier" stripped away, either prior to or just following them making a commitment to press on in their lives. I guess you could include me in that assessment too.

That's just it though... isn't it? It's easy to pursue a course of action when everything is going your way, when things are looking up. The real test of a person's character comes when everything comes crashing down around you and you find yourself knocked to the ground; when the only two choices available to you are to stay on the floor... give in and go back home, or get right back up on your feet and press on ahead anyway... win or lose, live or die.

I want to look at two instances in scripture where characters from the Bible are faced with this exact choice:

Some time later God tested Abraham. He said to him, "Abraham!"

"Here I am," he replied.

Then God said, "Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about." Early the next morning Abraham got up and saddled his donkey. He took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac. When he had cut enough wood for the burnt offering, he set out for the place God had told him about. On the third day Abraham looked up and saw the place in the distance. He said to his servants, "Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. We will worship and then we will come back to you."

Abraham took the wood for the burnt offering and placed it on his son Isaac, and he himself carried the fire and the knife. As the two of them went on together, Isaac spoke up and said to his father Abraham, "Father?"

"Yes, my son?" Abraham replied.

"The fire and wood are here," Isaac said, "but where is the lamb for the burnt offering?"

Abraham answered, "God himself will provide the lamb for the burnt offering, my son." And the two of them went on together.

When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. But the angel of the LORD called out to him from heaven, "Abraham! Abraham!"

"Here I am," he replied.

"Do not lay a hand on the boy," he said. "Do not do anything to him. Now I know that you fear God, because you have not withheld from me your son, your only son."

Abraham looked up and there in a thicket he saw a ram caught by its horns. He went over and took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son. So Abraham called that place The LORD Will Provide. And to this day it is said, "On the mountain of the LORD it will be provided."

The angel of the LORD called to Abraham from heaven a second time and said, "I swear by myself, declares the LORD, that because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies, and through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed, because you have obeyed me."

Genesis 22:1-18

I should point out before continuing, that God does not approve of infant sacrifice (he spent a lot of time sending out Israel to clobber people who did), so before you jump to a conclusion and think God's being malicious, think again... that is not what the passage is about. The second passage I want to look at comes from the New Testament:

After sighting Cyprus and passing to the south of it, we sailed on to Syria. We landed at Tyre, where our ship was to unload its cargo. We sought out the disciples there and stayed with them seven days. Through the Spirit they urged Paul not to go on to Jerusalem. When it was time to leave, we left and continued on our way. All of them, including wives and children, accompanied us out of the city, and there on the beach we knelt to pray. After saying good-by to each other, we went aboard the ship, and they returned home.

We continued our voyage from Tyre and landed at Ptolemais, where we greeted the believers and stayed with them for a day. Leaving the next day, we reached Caesarea and stayed at the house of Philip the evangelist, one of the Seven. He had four unmarried daughters who prophesied.

After we had been there a number of days, a prophet named Agabus came down from Judea. Coming over to us, he took Paul's belt, tied his own hands and feet with it and said, "The Holy Spirit says, 'In this way the Jewish leaders in Jerusalem will bind the owner of this belt and will hand him over to the Gentiles.' "

When we heard this, we and the people there pleaded with Paul not to go up to Jerusalem. Then Paul answered, "Why are you weeping and breaking my heart? I am ready not only to be bound, but also to die in Jerusalem for the name of the Lord Jesus." When he would not be dissuaded, we gave up and said, "The Lord's will be done."

Acts 21:3-14

Two very different stories, but both contain a a binding theme.

One has a happy ending (Isaac lives and is given back to Abraham), the other not so happy (Paul goes on to Jerusalem and receives exactly the treatment that was prophesied).

What links these stories is that in both instances, Abraham and Paul did not withhold what was being asked of them. Abraham is asked to surrender his son, the son who he received by grace from God (when by rights and by human convention it should not have been possible). This son - Isaac who has brought so much joy to Abraham (his very name means "laughter"), has been given by God, is now apparently wanted back by God. Imagine yourself there... Abraham must have been tearing himself apart, yet still he obeyed.

In the other passage, Paul is faced with the flip side of the coin. God is actually warning him in advance what will happen if he chooses to obey him. Paul is wise. While others saw this as God trying to protect him from harm, Paul instead, acknowledges that this is his destiny; the path that God has chosen for him. He is being tested, in the face of what is to come... and if he had not taken that path, a substantial chunk of his letters would be missing (he wrote a lot of them whilst incarcerated by the Romans).

These stories are both about obedience. The outcome does not matter, the challenge is the same:

"Will you follow me?"

God may call us along a certain path and none of us knows what we will meet along the way - triumph... disaster... unspeakable tragedy... indescribable happiness, they may all await us along the road. God has often spoken to me through the life of Gideon. At the moment I am reminded of how Gideon (after dithering for so long whether to do what God asked of him), started out with a fairly impressive army of 32,000 soldiers... but had to look on as God sent all but 300 home. It looked to be suicide to carry on.

Nonetheless, Gideon went anyway.

When we face difficulty, hardship or adversity, it confronts us with regard to where our conviction lies. Are we walking with God purely because of what we may get out of him (be they temporal blessings or eternal ones)? Or are we serving him because of who he is and what he means to us?

Last week, I discovered an old bookmark - I considered it a timely word:

"The path you walk on may be dark indeed, but trust in the Lord, rely on your God."

It's based on a verse from Isaiah, but it's been a good reminder to me that however uncertain our world may seem, we can always be certain of our God's love for us. You may be robed in riches or stripped of all you have... but God will always be with you.

My friends who are struggling know this, and I am proud to know them and pray for them as they carry their burdens - knowing that they share the same love and resolve for me.