Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Complicated

Well, this is fun!

A good friend of mine has returned to the area after several years working in Scotland. She is due to have her 30th birthday next week. She asked me if I could use my contacts to pull in as many of the old gang from Fellowship as I could.

I'm a decent bloke, when a friend asks you to do something... you do it no matter the personal cost.

I've remained largely silent in recent months with regard to sending Fellowship emails, for several reasons. The first one is that a lot of people lately just tend to be plain ignorant... if someone dropped me a line then (providing I was on ok terms with them), I would without doubt return the favour out of courtesy... even if it were just an acknowledgement. I don't even get that amount of respect from 95% of them. OK, so people are busy... but it doesn't even take 5 minutes just to say hello, "How are you doing?"

The second one is that in the past there have been a few who people tend to take advantage, they only drop me a line when they've got something to crow about and they want me to broadcast it for them. I'm not just their personal radio transmitter, I'm a human being.

The final straw for me is that there are a few people on that list who I don't get on with at present. One "friend" inparticular betrayed my trust, we were until Christmas fairly close... but when it came to choosing which way our relationship was going, she didn't have the maturity to talk about it like an adult. Instead she blanked me completely. If someone is prepared to act in such a manner, it is clear genuine friendship doesn't mean that much to them.

I'm the kind of person that trusts easily and in steadfast manner but once that trust is betrayed at a high level, in a severe way; it is very hard to get back into my circle of trust. I'm no doormat, and I do have self respect. Similarly, I prefer to take a long time before committing to a course of action, however once engaged I very rarely back out. I'm an all or nothing kind of guy on many levels.

Anyway I was asked to forward details of a party for a friend, and because of who they are and the fact they have been away from the area for so long... I made an exception. I passed it onto everyone, even the people I do not get on with. Even though I knew it might cause me trouble... I'm the honourable sort, and honour requires you do the things that cost you for your friends.

Wouldn't you know it, upon sending the email I get a text message from one of the people in my bad books, thanking me for the invite (err hello? Not my party!) and pretending like nothing has happened.

I'm sorry but when adult life confronts us with something we don't like, we shouldn't duck our heads in the sand... skipping off to fantasy land with our fingers in our ears singing "la la la not listening!". No. That behaviour is CHILDISH, not CHILDLIKE. The correct thing to do is evaluate the situation, on our own with God, or with the people close to us and then we reason it out, or form some sort of measured response. Running is never an option, at least not a effective, sensible or reasonable one.

Those are my thoughts on the subject anyway.

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