Sleigh Oddity

In a moment of random madness, I found myself Christmassing up some classic rock hits... I think in my defence, that I was really tired at the time.

The most prominent one I decided to massacre have a go at, was David Bowie's Space Oddity. I decided to pay homage to the original song's theme by having Santa flying off into deep space at the end. I mean when you think about it, where does he go once Christmas is done? Is it really fair to suggest he only works one day a year?

For bonus points I decided to try and explain in a throwaway lyric, how it is that Santa can cover the entire Earth's surface and deliver to all good children on the planet, in a single night.

So here without further ado, I give you.... Sleigh Oddity:

The North Pole to Santa Claus

The North Pole to Santa Claus

Eat your mincemeat pies and put your red suit on

(Dasher) The North Pole (Dancer) to Santa Claus (Prancer)

(Vixen) Commencing Christmas (Comet), space-time paused (Cupid)

(Donner) Check those presents (Blitzen) and may Rudolph (Lift Off!) guide you true.

This is the North Pole to Santa Claus

You've really made their day

And the children want to thank the jolly man

Now it's time to leave the fireplace if you can.

This is Santa Claus to the North Pole I'm climbing up the chute

And I'm squashed up in a most a-peculiar way

and my magic sleigh seems very far away.

For here am I stuck inside this chimney far above the hearth

Planet Earth is white on this holy silent night.

Now I've clocked 100,000 miles I'm feeling very ill

And I think my reindeer know which way to go

Tell those kids I love them very much, they know.

The North Pole to Santa Claus your sleigh bells stopped where've you gone

Can you hear me Santa Claus? Can you hear me Santa Claus? Can you hear me Santa Claus? Can you...

Here am I zooming off in deep space, far beyond the stars

Kids on planets new, need to get their presents too.

If  you want to try singing along and seeing if it tracks, I've added a link to an instrumental of Bowie's original below.

 

Over to you... what classic songs of yesteryear can you rework with a Christmas theme?

Look What I Received in My Email Today!

Dear Nick,

Thank you for writing such a wonderful letter! We have had a great year at the North Pole. The reindeer have been playing reindeer games to get in shape for the long trip Christmas Eve, and the elves have been busy getting my sleigh packed with lots and lots of toys.

Once my sleigh is packed and ready to go, I'll be off on my journey around the world. I'm reading your letter right now, and it looks like you've been a very nice boy this year. That makes me so happy. Keep up the good work!

While you are asleep on Christmas Eve, the reindeer will land my sleigh on your rooftop so I can hop down your chimney.

I see that you like cars and trucks. I like cars and trucks, too. They are lots of fun to play with, and we have some very exciting new cars and trucks this year. The elves have been very busy this year making many new and different cars and trucks for Christmas!

Well, I must get back to my workshop now and help the elves finish up the rest of the Christmas toys. We have to have them ready to go soon--we don't have a minute to lose!

Ho! Ho! Ho! Have a Merry Christmas!

Your Special Friend,

SANTA

St. Nicholas Night

Tonight was St. Nicholas night in Alcester. The local Anglican church is named after St. Nicholas, and a new custom has arisen whereby a young boy is escorted down the High Street dressed as the Saint. There is much mirth... the stores are open late, soup kitchens and a plethora of fast foods are to be found in abundance. Santa gives out goodies to the kids in his grotto. Local bands and school orchestras play music... Morris Men dance in the street... ordinary folk dance in the street!

So who was St. Nicholas? We know him as Santa Claus (it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see how the name translates). You may have caught a programme on TV last year that said a lot about him. He was a bishop... a leader of the early Church who was based in Myra. He was persecuted for his beliefs by the Emperor Diocletian... and locked up in jail (he was... lucky). He eventually escaped and lived to see the Church become legalised. The reason we most associate him with giving gifts and being kind to children, is because of two stories. Nicholas was born to wealthy parents... but as a Christian he decided to use his wealth to help the poor and needy. We are told that he heard of a pauper whose three daughters were engaged to be married... but he couldn't afford the dowry payment to the grooms. Nicholas sneaked round the house at night and lobbed three bags of gold through the window. Another story tells of how he prophetically dreamed of an innkeeper murdering three children. Nicholas found the boys and prayed over them... returning them to life in the name of Jesus.

When I was born I had no name for several days. I am eternally grateful to St. Nicholas because if it hadn't been for the church giving me my name.... I probably would have been called Julian... and I would have been emotionally scarred for life (that name comes in for a lot of stick in these parts).

St. Nicholas Day is 6th December. He is supposed to be patron saint of the following:

against imprisonment; against robberies; against robbers; apothecaries; Apulia, Italy; bakers; Bari, Italy; barrel makers; boatmen; boot blacks; boys; brewers; brides; captives; children; coopers; dock workers; druggists; Duronia, Italy; fishermen; Fossalto, Italy; Greece; Greek Catholic Church in America; Greek Catholic Unionl grooms; judges; lawsuits lost unjustly; Limerick, Ireland; longshoremen; Lorraine; maidens; mariners; merchants; murderers; Naples, Italy; newlyweds; old maids; parish clerks; paupers; pawnbrokers; perfumeries; perfumers; pharmacists; pilgrims; poor people; Portsmouth (English City); prisoners; Russia; sailors; Sassari, Italy; scholars; schoolchildren; shoe shiners; Sicily; spinsters; students; thieves; travellers; University of Paris; unmarried girls; watermen.


If you want to know more about the man... you can read up on him here.

Theologically I don't believe in venerating specific "Saints". All Christians are saints. However, I'm no killjoy and tonight was a lot of fun... it's just important to recognise that in Christ, all are equal.

Hey... I just had a thought. My name is Nicholas... I'm a christian... therefore I'm a saint. I'd better stay off the mince pies because there's a good chance I'll be the next Santa!

I certainly wouldn't mind being the patron saint of unmarried girls!