Saturday, June 07, 2008

I Am Out There.... Somewhere.

Sorry I haven't posted for a while.

There are several reasons for my absence - I've been faffing about a fair bit, I'm also trying to keep my head clear for two projects I'm working on. I'm charged with organizing the teaching for one of the days at this year's Maze... and I'm also preaching next weekend at Oldberrow.

I'm a person who tends to have lots of ideas so I'm trying not to crowd my brain with too much, so as to stick to the message I feel needs to be conveyed.

That said, I feel that when I'm ready I'm going to either do a singular blog, or miniseries on what I feel I've been charged with. Part of the reason I feel that way is because in all the things I'm being asked to look at, it seems to be that God has laid the same message on my heart. Indeed I'm also finding the same points being raised in daily life... perhaps God is fashioning me for a less generalised, more specific purpose.

I'm also doing my best to discipline myself in meditation.

A lady with a gift of prophecy once told me that she had been given a picture for me, it was an image of a hand above a spinning top. She said that the spinning top had images on it and that the hand was God's... that he was going to slow me down to show me what those things were. Truth be known my mind always races. Part of the reason I find the Coldplay song "The Scientist" so moving, is that it's a song that enables me to express that desire, that sentiment - the earnest desire to stop running around and remind myself that God must be set apart and loved above and beyond all other things; that there is a time to stop probing, analysing, interrogating, investigating and cease the pursuit of intellectualism... and a time to just step back and be blow away with sheer wonder and awe.

So, knowing my mind races I've tried to discipline myself (whilst accepting my natural weaknesses). If I sit still for long enough, I'll doze off... but what I try to do is just lie down for about half an hour and just let the Spirit just soak in. I see it as a work in progress. Stillness does not come naturally to me... but I feel if I don't get the hang of it, I will most definitely miss out. I know that in moments when I have been still I've had some amazing encounters with God. I need to harness the ability to remain focused. So for half an hour I just lay down and wait... if I doze off, I doze off... but I am confident that as time wears on and I become acclimatised to this practice, I will grant God the space he needs to generate that sense of self discipline... and I will be more in tune with him in those quiet moments I tend to struggle in.

It feels really great to have had the opportunity to write this down. When I typed the first sentence,this was going to be little more than a footnote... a simple reassurance that I would be coming back... but I feel that I've actually shared something beneficial and close to the spirit in which I always intended to write from the very first day I began blogging... content that isn't just preaching from the pulpit... but sharing the lesson on the road as a fellow traveller. When I teach people the things I know, or am passionate about... I prefer to do it from the side and not from above.

I like to teach with a hint of empathy.

So I am out there... somewhere.

I am also here. If you are a regular or casual passer by and you want to share something or ask a question, go ahead... I won't bite your head off. Similarly if you see posts on other peoples blogs, you think I might like to comment on... call my name. I'm ready to heed your call.

Till next time, be my post be serious or fun...

May God bless you.

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