Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Somebody Please Shut Sir Cliff Up!

Authors note - 05/01/07 , the following blog was written over a year before I regained a slight appreciation of Songs of Praise through the heavenly Katherine Jenkins.
I am an odd Christian. In the sense that I find both Songs of Praise and Cliff Richard, highly annoying.

The reason I don't get on with Songs of Praise is because a lot of the time it's not live, and it's often too slick (more attention to professionalism than spirituality). you also have the added distraction of people who blatantly never go to church, just turning up to appear on telly. You can tell these people because they adopt one of the following expressions:
  • The Grin. A cheesy smile worthy of El Presidente Blair himself, as they sing along.
  • The Frown. The "I'm a zealot and proud" look. They want to be taken as serious.
  • The Blissful. These ones normally close their eyes and sway as they sing.
I'm sure there are people who adopt that pose and are genuine, but a lot of people just seem to be there for the cameras. So I very rarely watch it.
As for Sir Cliff, I just find his pappy poppy songs annoying. When they have substance they are ok. I liked the Millennium Prayer, and Saviour's Day (but curiously not Mistletoe & Wine). The only other thing of note in his discography is his Comic Relief version of Living Doll with the Young Ones. Everything else is just too saccharine! His current release is making my ears bleed!

Did I tell you I once wrote a sketch where I had him kidnapped by aliens and then shot by James Bond?

On antirely separate note, I've also noticed something rather disturbing about jelly babies. The makers have now put little personality profiles of each jelly baby on the side of the box! Do they want to give us a guilt trip or complex?

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