Gifts and Curses

I've b een reflecting recently on personal sacrifice  and the passage of time. In my memories last week I was reminded on Facebook, how 8 years ago, as that years Len't was  about to finish, I briefly showed affections for a girl at the start of  Lent that year. I felt quite burdened to surrender those feelings to God. I didn’t want to do it but I felt it was the right thing to do. I was reminded of the words of Aunt May in Spider-Man 2:

 

“ I believe there's a hero in all of us, that keeps us honest, givns us strength, makes us noble, and finally allows us to die with pride, even though sometimes we have to be steady, and give up the thing we want the most. Even our dreams.”

 

In the end I chose to be steady… but it yielded me little. Lent passed and Easter came and the chance was gone. It was quite frustrating as a couple of close fiends have in the past made similar sacrifices for God (having  been asked to surrender in turn...  but on every occasion, God only made it a temporary thing and it was something he always gave back. Converesly it NEVER works that way for me. God it seems invariably  wants these sacrifices to be permanent. And so it was, that after Lent ended and I was ready to leap into action once more, the girl in question had moved to anpther local town and got a new job.  As it happens I worked out where that job was, but never felt it right to pick up that thread. For one it would be weird on a number of levels without bringing in the spiritual element.

 

In essence it feels like I've  rocked up like Abraham with Isaac, and The Angel of the Lord as far as I am concerned did not stop short, and nor did he provide a ram.

Now you may think I’m a fool and I threw hope away needlessly. But I remained true even when it cost me (first time for everything lol)

 

As C.S. Lewis wrote in Screwtape::

 

“Our cause is never more in danger than when a human, no longer desiring, but still intending, to do our Enemy's will, looks round upon a universe from which every trace of Him seems to have vanished, and asks why he has been forsaken, and still obeys.”

 

Nor do I have hope that circumstances will change in some way it some miracle. I’ve been around the block enough to know the rules of the game.

 

Sometimes you can’t expect a fairytale or Job-like turn around. What matters is faithfulness to the Most High and you just have to trust that good will come of it, not necessarily in the way you conceive or imagine.

 

Will the door open again at this late stage? Incredibly doubtful. Will some over course correction  prove to be the case? I do not see how and don't have reason to hold out hope.

 

For now, I’m good… I can only hope that my cost meant something to The Lord and that in some small way, on some day… I’ll be remembered like Rachel.

 

I think I'll leave it there with I wrestlea video from the sountrack of Spider-Man that includes quotes that reflect the rhings I wrestle with,

But I shall say this.. may God be praised in wherever the walk leads.

 

The Illusion of Impermanence

 I've been watching with some interest the news coming from Alabama about the pause being enforced on IVF due to a court decision that fertilised embryos are considered children:

Pause in IVF in Alabama due to court decision 

I'm sure u think I have a osition on this... particularly given I have spiritual leanings. I do of course but I like to position myself in an Israel-like stance of nuclear ambiguity. However my post today is not taking a direct position on this. Instead, I want to take the opportunity to talk about how it is a microcosm of a wider human behaviour that I'm unhappy about.

I'm deeply uncomfortable with the human habit of treating things as "movable  feasts".

What do I mean by this? Well it's my concern about people shifting their positions (be they theological, ethical or moral), on nothing more than whim and emotion.

To use the matter at hand as an example... I respect people who have ariived at a position based on experience, teaching or debate... even when those views differ to my own. I'm not comfortable when people chop and changethir views based on how the ourtcome makes them feel.

I'm remindedof a time when an acquaintance was in a place where their marraige was breaking down and it was apparrent to me that their was a very strong argument that they were the belligerent party. Marriages occassionally  break down and that is a sad and unfortunate fact of life. It's deeply sad when it  happems, but I must say that I lost respect for peoplewhen they huddle round that person and caim out with trite nonsesne like "he obviously wasn't the one".

Why are eople so swift to swap out people like stickers or trading cards? Shouldn't their be a pperiod of reflection or contemplation before jumping n from one lily pad to another?

Nobody is denying  that there are difficult questions asked of all of us... but all I am saying is that when we are faced with them... we should acknolwedge them for what they are. Whatever position you arrive at in these situtions  you should take time and give them the respect these matters deserve.

I have friends who have lost children at an early age, and it's only a few tears ago after a deceased baby was found in a local river.  So to the catalyst question at hand, I can very much understand why prospective parents would feel the need to take a view on th status of unborn children? Would you really deny parents the right to grieve an unborn child because you view life bginning at birth. You cannot deny that their grief is real and tey have that right to express those emotions.

In principle my issue is with the disposable nature of things and how little respect we treat the people and thing we exncounter as disposable nappies. It isn't right. I would point out that our understanding of when human life begins has been coloured by science as well as religion. Theologically there is a view that life begins at birth and it could be argued that science at least generated the doubt. There are arguments from both camps that go either way... and I think whatver your personal position is, you should treat the matter with resect.

Maybe you could level critcisim of me and say that mt perspective is coloured by the fact I haven't experienced much of these things.. That isn't an issue of me lacking perspective... it just means that I have a different one