My life took yet another turn for the surreal earlier this week.
I was minding my own business talking to a colleague at work with regard to something completely random.
Nothing unusual there at all.
However, as we were talking, the sound of approaching footsteps and voices was audible down the corridor. Almost immediately, the Company Secretary appeared with two visitors - two female visitors... one of whom was very familiar.
Who was she? She was the girl from the estate agents who just over a year ago, I had a crush on. She has not been working at that company for some time... and it seemed almost as if she had never existed, or had at least disappeared off the face of planet Earth... yet there she was.
I was completely blindsided.
It was a completely unpredictable event, one that I could not have foreseen in any way. Naturally,this bolt from the blue left me completely flustered... I did my best to regain my composure and said a polite but utterly shocked hello. She returned the greeting and carried on down the corridor.
I conveniently found some work that needed printing off on the copier and went in the opposite direction... where I paced around for a fair bit... and gnawed my knuckles in an angst-ridden fashion.
Oh she was a stunner alright... but that wasn't what was eating me up. It took me a bit of time to work that one through. If someone makes a strong impression on you, in my experience, I find that it lasts. It doesn't matter whether you fancy them anymore or not... there is always something inside that reminds you of the butterflies you first felt when you originally encountered them. It doesn't mean you still fancy them... if it did, then I'd still fancy about a dozen girls!
I was, I confess a little bothered because I had discovered she had come with a temping agency... and having to work with someone who knows you have liked them and may have similar feelings, is one quandary I have never really had to face. However she wasn't a temp herself, apparently her new job is to interview companies and check out their placement needs. She is not coming to work for us herself - I breathed a hearty sigh of relief when I worked that one out.
The fact is that I am further on down the road then I was back then. I have changed... I have had several watershed moments in that particular area of my life. Most significantly these cropped up in December, March and most recently, just the other Sunday. I can tell you there have also been some fiery trials in between that I didn't blog about because people involved would definitely have found out about it... and things would have gotten messy - and that is the only reason I didn't mention it. If you flick through the archives you will see that I have an open approach with regard to my struggles.
I think on this occasion my "spidey-sense" was tingling!
I was praying through things the following day... and I found myself proactively telling God that I didn't want this because it was a distraction... and that I didn't want to miss out on the things he is starting to work out in my life and the lives of those of others around me. Normally I'm reacting with distress or reluctantly acknowledging things like that... I feel God allowed this to happen so that I could see that I have moved forward in this area.
Furthermore, I also received a scripture via text message from Jenni:
"Wait for the LORD and keep his way. He will exalt you to inherit the land; when the wicked are cut off, you will see it."
I was minding my own business talking to a colleague at work with regard to something completely random.
Nothing unusual there at all.
However, as we were talking, the sound of approaching footsteps and voices was audible down the corridor. Almost immediately, the Company Secretary appeared with two visitors - two female visitors... one of whom was very familiar.
Who was she? She was the girl from the estate agents who just over a year ago, I had a crush on. She has not been working at that company for some time... and it seemed almost as if she had never existed, or had at least disappeared off the face of planet Earth... yet there she was.
I was completely blindsided.
It was a completely unpredictable event, one that I could not have foreseen in any way. Naturally,this bolt from the blue left me completely flustered... I did my best to regain my composure and said a polite but utterly shocked hello. She returned the greeting and carried on down the corridor.
I conveniently found some work that needed printing off on the copier and went in the opposite direction... where I paced around for a fair bit... and gnawed my knuckles in an angst-ridden fashion.
Oh she was a stunner alright... but that wasn't what was eating me up. It took me a bit of time to work that one through. If someone makes a strong impression on you, in my experience, I find that it lasts. It doesn't matter whether you fancy them anymore or not... there is always something inside that reminds you of the butterflies you first felt when you originally encountered them. It doesn't mean you still fancy them... if it did, then I'd still fancy about a dozen girls!
I was, I confess a little bothered because I had discovered she had come with a temping agency... and having to work with someone who knows you have liked them and may have similar feelings, is one quandary I have never really had to face. However she wasn't a temp herself, apparently her new job is to interview companies and check out their placement needs. She is not coming to work for us herself - I breathed a hearty sigh of relief when I worked that one out.
The fact is that I am further on down the road then I was back then. I have changed... I have had several watershed moments in that particular area of my life. Most significantly these cropped up in December, March and most recently, just the other Sunday. I can tell you there have also been some fiery trials in between that I didn't blog about because people involved would definitely have found out about it... and things would have gotten messy - and that is the only reason I didn't mention it. If you flick through the archives you will see that I have an open approach with regard to my struggles.
I think on this occasion my "spidey-sense" was tingling!
I was praying through things the following day... and I found myself proactively telling God that I didn't want this because it was a distraction... and that I didn't want to miss out on the things he is starting to work out in my life and the lives of those of others around me. Normally I'm reacting with distress or reluctantly acknowledging things like that... I feel God allowed this to happen so that I could see that I have moved forward in this area.
Furthermore, I also received a scripture via text message from Jenni:
"Wait for the LORD and keep his way. He will exalt you to inherit the land; when the wicked are cut off, you will see it."
Psalm 37:34
There have been times in the past, when I would begrudgingly accept such things like a servant accepts an unfair burden that he knows he must carry. I would always see the first sentence... and be blinded to the rest. This time, I'm okay with it... it's not heavy at all. I would rather wait for what is right... what is assured in all areas of my life, rather than rush headlong into a feast of ashes.
Or as the Bible puts it:
"Why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare."
Isaiah 55:2
As I was writing that, it occurred to me that this is one of the verse God laid on my church a good couple of years ago.
So maybe for the first time I'm heeding the call to keep my eyes on the prize without a sense of hardship. I'm going to link to a video of Bruce Springsteen performing an old "spiritual" about that, in concert. Before I do,I'm going to leave you with a quote from it:
Freedom’s lean is mighty sweet
And soon we’re gonna meet
Keep your eyes on the prize, Hold on
I got my hand on the gospel plough
Won’t take nothing for my journey now
Keep your eyes on the prize, Hold on.
